Jammie J's Quest

July 13, 2012 · 9:23 pm

Beautiful Random Summer.

There’s something about the 4th of July that captures my imagination year round. Christmas does, too, I guess but in a different way. Maybe because I kind of look at the 4th of July as sort of a kick off for summer? Or maybe it’s just a wonderful holiday that kind of sneaks up on you… there’s no month-long (or longer) prep for it. It just stands there, all by itself, proclaiming how wonderful freedom is.

So, here we are mid-summer already. I noticed this morning, through the warm rain that we were blessed with — which, by the way, confused everyone around here, FB updates were plentiful about “humidity” and “rain in July, WTH?” — that my plumeria tree was blooming.

And then tonight Tony brought home some more yellow crookneck squash. He planted seeds that were in a pumpkin seed package and yellow crookneck squash grew from them. Methinks someone at the seed distributor got confused. Clearly these are not pumpkins, but … how can I complain when I love squash?

Since those two pictures are yellow, how about some greenery? I went to Ikea last month for something and saw a big leaf decoration that matched the decor in William’s room perfectly. They had several on display, and they didn’t look all THAT big, so I bought one. What I failed to factor in is, Ikea is kind of like Costco in that it’s an enormous store. Things that look “normal” there are, in fact, huge. Like, Jack in the Beanstalk proportions. So, now, William’s room is all about The Leaf. The Very Big Leaf. For size comparison, please note that William is in his crib in this picture, staring raptly at The Very Big Leaf.

And lately, because I no longer know which room I’ll feel more comfortable sleeping in, I got tired of shlepping my sleep mask from room to room and then getting to the room where I’ll be sleeping and realizing it’s in the other room. So I bought a second sleep mask. Now, tell me this isn’t the sexiest sleep mask you’ve ever seen.

Tony thinks so, and don’t you let him tell you any different.

12 Comments

Filed under I feel Amused

June 26, 2012 · 9:42 am

Reading Material.

I used to be addicted to reading women’s magazines. I remember subscribing to Glamour and all manner of magazines in my early 20’s. I don’t remember what insight they gave me for life, but I remember being entertained by them. Of course, The Enquirer was always good for a laugh, and Star (I think it was?) if I wanted to read celebrity gossip with no basis on fact.

I used to have an older lady, a mom of a friend, who would give me bags and bags of magazines, everything from the slicks to the cheap paper magazines. I would devour them.

Now, and even a few years back… I just don’t read magazines anymore. Last year Tony had a credit from something or other and we had to redeem them for magazines, and I remember being annoyed that we had to do so because “those magazines just sit around being unread.” I don’t even read the headlines that sit on the rack in the grocery store. They hold no interest for me. Shocking, I know.

I can’t remember what held my interest in those things anymore. I guess it’s safe to say that is yet another area where the Internet has taken over for me… free reading and the ability to easily research or verify things.

How DO magazine businesses stay in business these days? Kind of like the phone book for me… they still drop those things on my front doorstep and I sigh in exasperation and put them in the recycle bin without even cracking it open.

Newspapers are still fun to me, there’s something so perfect about sitting down on Sunday with Tony and going through the paper together, getting the coupons out, reading the travel section and comics, and seeing what sales are going on.

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Filed under Who I am

June 19, 2012 · 3:26 pm

Be my neighbor?

In our community, parking is an issue. There are never enough parking spots to accommodate everyone. Everyone is supposed to park at least one car in their garage, but not all do, which results in an even greater shortage of parking spots. It has become such a problem that the Board is proposing a paid parking solution — 1st permit would be $30, 2nd one $150, and a 3rd would be $300. We have one neighbor who has 3 cars and not a one of them gets parked in his garage, so needless to say, most everyone feels he’s not very neighborly.

So last night, I got William in bed for the night, it’s been hot here, so I left his window open. Lately he’s had trouble transitioning from the first light sleep cycle into the next deeper sleep cycle, so he wakes 40 minutes after he goes to sleep, crying his head off. Tony will go in and pat his butt and rub his back, and William will go back to sleep. It takes about 10 minutes, but Tony likes to wait longer to make sure he’s really out.

And THEN last night… dun dun dunnnn… I heard a super loud car stereo. It was so loud I figured it must be in the cul-de-sac behind our townhome, because I was at my desk at the rear of our home and I could hear it clear as day with the windows shut. I think nothing more of it until I go upstairs to tell Tony that William is asleep, which I could see on the video monitor better than he could in a darkened bedroom.

I looked out the front window and saw that one of That Neighbor’s cars was parked RIGHT UNDER William’s window, in the red zone, with its door open, radio going full blast. I was stunned to realize that the stereo I heard wasn’t in the rear of house at all, it was in the front! Instead of driving two houses down to his own place, he parked illegally in front of ours! Idiot. He was out of his car digging in the trunk of one of his other cars, which was (of course) parked in guest parking in front of our home.

I went from calm to white hot livid, and I marched out there, in my pajamas and told him to move his car RIGHT NOW, that my baby is asleep in the room right above his car. He said he would, but then kept digging in his trunk. I stood there and glared at him, hands on hips, determined that I wasn’t going to move until he moved his car. His loud, radio blaring, obnoxious car.

He got the point and quit diddling around, went and turned his radio off and moved his car down to the next neighbor’s garage, still parked in the red zone, but at least not under William’s room.

Sometimes it would be easier, I think, to live in the country and just park on the lawn.

Fortunately, William didn’t wake up again, but, man! Weirdly, Tony said he couldn’t hear the stereo (not even the bass that sounded like an earthquake) over all the white noise in William’s room, which is just weird to me. But, whatever. I made my point. In my jammies.

Harumph.

10 Comments

Filed under Entertainment can be Cheap, I own a Home, Our Kid is Cute

June 15, 2012 · 1:19 pm

A Pumping Momma.

It is lunch time. I am in a locked office, looking out the window at the trees that are blooming lavender blossoms. Some call them blue, but I think those people are color blind. They are clearly lavender. The machine next to me sings its song, always the same, kerchunk kerchunk it goes. When I run it at home, late at night, my husband always thinks it’s a small dog, and even now 6 months into this parenting gig, he will turn and ask where the dog is… never mind that we don’t have, nor ever have had a dog.

So, I sit here and stare out the window at the flowering tree. A hummingbird darts by, pausing to taste the nectar from the blossoms. His pause coordinates with the traffic light just beyond him turning red, which stops 8 cars to let 1 car turn left. I wonder how many of those 8 people are just a bit resentful about that…

I drink some water and notice that my hand is blue. Dark chocolate peanut M&Ms are my vice, and amused I think about the old advertisement that M&Ms melt in your mouth, not in your hand and, unrelated, the Smurf movie. Then I think about my baby, for whom I do all this pumping, and marvel that he has been in our lives now for 6 months. Every day I relive his birthday and how marvelously amazing and powerful we were together. I think about how sweet my baby was this morning when I nursed him before I left for work and, how, unexpectedly, he fell back to sleep in my arms.

I sat there and looked at the way his cheek was lit by the dim light from the window, casting his eyes into shadows, but the tips of his long eyelashes were illuminated. His lips were so pure and innocent, and he relaxed against me and sighed as his eyelashes fluttered and, centimeter by centimeter, his beautiful eyes closed in sleep . Gradually, gradually, I felt his tongue slow its waving caress, finishing the last of the letdown he had initiated. Perfectly timed, his latch relaxed and I pulled away from him and covered my breast. I looked at him, his tongue pressed against his upper gum, still nursing in his sleepy haze. I lifted him and placed him in his crib, so peacefully he went… he reached his hands up in trust, his eyes barely open, I handed him his Froggy lovey. He grabbed him from me and rolled to his side and sighed again, as I turned his AngelCare monitor on and quietly left his room.

For me, one of the absolute best parts of being a mom is having that kind of intimacy with him. I know that it won’t always be so, and for that reason, it is one of those things that I treasure the most. There are times when I resent that it’s always me who puts him to bed, for there are times when I would like to eat dinner when it’s warm or any other number of things, but then I look at him in my arms and realize he will never be *this* age again and I continue…and the machine continues.

8 Comments

Filed under I have Family, Money Hump Building, Our Kid is Cute

June 2, 2012 · 9:17 pm

William’s 1st Memorial Day Weekend.

(Picture heavy post.)

William and Dr. Werlin meet again. They saw each other when William was 5 days old. Now again at 5.5 months old. William’s changed some since then. Dr. Werlin has stayed pretty much the same. Kind of like coming full circle.

William is all about faces these days. Dr. Werlin certainly has an interesting one!

For the first time over Memorial Day weekend, William initiated peek-a-boo with me. He’s played peek-a-boo before, but it’s always been initiated by me. I was surprised to say the least… to see a baby head peering over the crib rail and laughing his head off at me.

William is all about practicing his mad crawling skillz these days. He gets up on all fours and rocks and rocks like a little horsey. Then…

… he laughs hysterically when he face plants! And then, gets up and tries again.

I bought him a new ducky bathtub. He thinks ducks are really funny, and thinks their quacking is laughing and he laughs back at them. It should have been no surprise that this bathtub would be a huge hit for him!

Tony and William tried out some chairs in Big Lots!

Hey, there! Stop leaning! We all know what you’re doing, mister!

We had family over on Monday for some pool time. I’m not sure why everyone was all in one corner of the big pool, but hey… I guess we’re a close family? ha ha

We borrowed our neighbor’s bouncy house and set it up in our garage for the kids to play in. One of the adults got in there and it made the air hose sound funny, so it was decided it really was just for the kids.

Cousins hanging out on William’s play mat, watching Wall TV.

… but be careful, if you give up your spot on the play mat one of the furry intruders will take your spot.

America is truly a place where If you reach for the world with both hands, all of your dreams can come true.

9 Comments

Filed under I did something Special, I have Family, Our Kid is Cute

May 21, 2012 · 9:14 pm

Driving Home.

When the work day ends, we all have our commute to get home to our family. I always wonder, if I happen to look beyond the car to the person within, what their story is. Why is that person angry? Why is that person driving like a jerk? Why did that person act like he didn’t know he had to turn left? Didn’t she know that was her exit from the freeway? The commute for me is usually the same every day, but oddly I rarely feel as if I see the same people every day.

My commute home starts with backing out of the parking lot at work. I am so serious!

I smile when I see the seat cover on my passenger seat, though.

My father-in-law said that our house looks like a baby lives there now, and he’s right, it does. I’m not a huge fan of primary colored toys, but there are some points to having a child that is just cool. Cars is cool.

The FedEx plane loads its time sensitive cargo…

Then I pass this restaurant that always has amazing smells … pasta, steak… emanating from it and what I smell from there will sometimes influence my decision of what I have for dinner.

Then I wait in this line…

To get the honor of waiting in some more traffic…

Then traffic usually lightens a little bit…

From this point I’m about 8 to 10 minutes from my home and I usually sigh a little in relief. The freeway part of it is over now.

Almost there…

Usually a combination of two, or sometimes three, of the people I love most in the world are waiting for me when I get home… the day I took this picture it was my mom and my son. Other times it’s my husband and my son. Sometimes it’s all three.

…and sometimes, which is why I never slam the garage door when I come in the house, this is what greets me:

6 Comments

Filed under Best Husband, I have Family, Our Kid is Cute

May 13, 2012 · 9:30 pm

Mother’s Day

Last year on this day I intentionally spent the day alone, avoiding people, because I was two months pregnant and afraid that I wouldn’t make it to the end of the pregnancy with a living baby. I didn’t want to be wished a happy mother’s day, because I didn’t feel like a mother. I felt like a fraud.

It’s a weird place to be, when you’ve had a miscarriage and have struggled with infertility, it steals the joy that hope offers for a miracle. You learn not to expect anything, that way if it doesn’t become a reality, you’re not overly disappointed. Or at least that’s what I told myself.

This year I am sensitive to the fact that there may be women out there who in their heart are already a mother but they may not have the baby that their heart dreams of holding. I wish I could make every mother’s dream come true. I wish every mother could be as happy as I am.

Even on my worst day when I’m at my wits end, which honestly doesn’t happen that often, it’s the best day of my life because this world is where William lives. I hear his laugh, his squeals, even his screams of joy. I see his smiles, I feel his super soft, chubby skin, I stroke his hair, I feel him nursing… and even with all that, I can still hardly believe that I get to actually hold every day and night in my arms the tangible result of the dreams of my heart.

Happy Mother’s Day.

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Filed under I feel Glad, I feel Hope, Our Kid is Cute

May 2, 2012 · 10:50 am

Wordless Wednesday. Ladybugs = Good Luck.

2 Comments

Filed under Our Kid is Cute, Wordless (mostly) Post

April 20, 2012 · 1:15 pm

Blogabilities 04/20/2012

This time of year brings me so much joy! In the parking lot at my work we have concrete plant boxes which each have a tree surrounded by star jasmine. Every year when those jasmine plants start blooming I get so excited… Look at this, they’re almost ready to burst open!

Over in our community pool area are these trees that bloom fragrant pink flowers. I love taking pictures of them and smelling them (before the landscapers come through and trim them away).

Signs in bathrooms in general just crack me up. This one was in the ladies’ room at the Red Cross office near our home where Tony donated blood last Saturday. It was so… personable… and friendly:

I love hand-me-down clothing for William and one of our neighbors has two little boys. Every couple of weeks I come home and find a bag of stuff from her, it makes me so happy!

I’ve always found it interesting to see what people keep in their fridges. If you were to open our fridge these days, you would find that instead of Milky Ways, we have milky days:

Being back to work is hard sometimes, but every Friday we have these and those make it just a little easier to go in. Not much easier, but a little bit. Everyone crowds in the kitchen, grabbing coffee, standing in line to get their breakfast and I always feel like we’re warriors who have managed to survive the week:

Since I had 8″ cut off a couple weeks ago, my hair no longer gets clamped into the seat belt. Have to say, that’s kind of nice:

This makes me laugh… here is all the baggage I now take to work with me… my lunch bag, William’s lunch bag, my netbook, and my purse:

For the last several months, even before I went on maternity leave, one of the soap dispensers in the ladies bathroom at work stopped working. It was maddening because then I had to reach across the other sink and get soap out of that one. I mentioned it to a co-worker the other day and she told me that all I have to do is push the top of the broken soap dispenser while pushing the button below, and magically, it works. Ummm, not ideal, certainly a little weird, but I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to have a work around.

I’m thinking that I may have an obsession with hair clips, and yet I still can’t find them in the middle of the night:

William loves when I sing to him, it doesn’t particularly matter to him what I’m singing. The moment I start, he relaxes and will usually smile and sometimes even laugh. I snapped this particular picture while I was singing Amazing Grace to him. Not a particularly funny song by any means, but he can laugh/smile if he wants because every day that William lives in this world I find myself smiling and thanking God for his amazing grace.

6 Comments

Filed under Blogabilities, Our Kid is Cute

April 12, 2012 · 3:26 pm

Soul blessings.

Last Saturday I went to my favorite hairstylist for a hair cut. It had been several months since I’d gone, and over a year since I’d seen her. She went on medical leave last March and had surgery to remove part of her intestines where a cancerous tumor had grown. Needless to say, we greeted each other with a hug and warm words.

In that time, my hair has endured continuous chlorine damage and hormonal changes due to pregnancy and birth. Also, my hair was getting tucked into my waistband on a regular basis and since it was classic length (halfway of the body) it was also a bit disconcerting to have it end up in weird places when I showered.

We negotiated, as we always do when she cuts my hair and we decided to cut it so it was waist length, which equaled a cut of eight inches. When I started growing my hair 15 years ago, never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would have 8 inches of hair to cut off and still have some left over. Sadly, it was so scraggly that it wasn’t worth donating to any cause except my own. My own “cause” is to show William when he’s older and lay guilt on him by telling him that this, THIS is what he did to his to his momma!

As she snipped off my hair, I met her eyes in the mirror and said, “This is such a bummer.” She paused, and said with a soft smile, “Yes, but it could be so much worse… and you have a beautiful baby boy to show for it.” I nodded. It could be much worse, this I know. I know what she’s been through this past year. But I also know that the alternative, for me, is that I wouldn’t have William… which just isn’t an alternative.

When I finished and paid, I sent Tony a text message that I was done. He had been walking through the pet store with William, showing him the fish tanks — which William is entranced by. Tony walked across the parking lot, William in his arms. For me it was like looking at my dreams come true.

William was handed over without hesitation to my hair stylist. She enfolded him in her arms and closed her eyes, inhaling the babyness of him. As for William, he snuggled into her neck as if he understood her need. I said softly, “He is good for the soul…”

Her eyes still closed, she replied, “Yes, he is.”