Love & Loathe – 08/11/09


* Blaring funky dance music.

* My friend, Grace, who lets me come over to her house on my lunch hour and hang out with her. A home away from home is a welcome midday respite.

* My mom — she is genuinely interested in me as a person. From halfway around the world, she listens and provides needed wisdom. Even though I know she has her own stresses and struggles, she is always, always there for me.

* My husband is one of the most responsible, reliable, loving, compassionate people on this planet. Even though I know he is stressed to the max right now, he never falters at being the best husband, the perfect husband, for me. I am so blessed.

* Gardenias… my gardenia tree just keeps blooming like crazy.

* Plumeria blossoms… my plumeria tree burst out in flowers last week.


* Struggling so very hard to paste a smile on my face when it’s the very last thing I feel like doing.

* Feeling depressed, overwhelmed and in over my head.

* Hormones that are all over the place and based on the knife sharp physical abdominal pain I’ve been having this week, as well as the emotional fluctuations I’m battling, I’ve been pondering just how much longer I have before endometriosis takes over my life again. Oh, Aleve, how I love thee… it helps me take things one sharp pain at a time!

* Having terrible dreams that I actually remember. I never remember my dreams, but I remember the one I had this morning and wish I didn’t.

* One of the cats had diarrhea with blood in it… we have no idea which one, and they all seem overwhelmingly normal in their lethargy, no observable abnormal weirdness or behavior or temperatures. (sigh) (shrug) What to do?

* My husband lost two of his little fish this past week. You know how losing fish makes me so sad.

One Last Thing:

I mentioned a couple weeks ago that my Aunt Marj was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had a mastectomy last week and came through the surgery great, is in no pain, she said, and seems to have a really great attitude — kicking ass and taking names, don’t you know. The doctors believe they successfully removed all the cancer, but they’re testing the surrounding muscle to be sure. She goes in for her follow-up appointment this Friday where she’ll learn the results of the test.

Please be praying that they got it all and that the test on the surrounding muscle and tissue is normal — which would mean she doesn’t need chemotherapy.



Filed under I feel Sad, Love/Loathe, Money Hump Building

9 responses to “Love & Loathe – 08/11/09

  1. Caryl

    I hope the swim helped.
    Love you,

    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
    I ended up going to the gym, so I got a “real” swim in… it was good.

    ~Jammie J.

  2. Sending out prayers of good test results.

    I know the overwhelmed feeling…I am so there. Throw in some insecurity for good measure and you have me.

    Hugs girl.

    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
    Thanks, love, for the prayers. Really appreciate that.
    Ugh, you know, the thing is, on this one I didn’t do anything wrong… but I had to effectively kiss ass to make things right again and that pisses me off.

    ~Jammie J.

  3. Glad your aunt is doing so well!

    As for the work stuff, your feelings are justified. You should always be professional. However, don’t smile for the sake of smiling. That will eventually drag you down and come off as faking it. Having just gone through all of that, the best thing to do is simply complete your stuff the best you can. Remember it’s just work. The real world is outside that building, not in it.

    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
    My aunt is an amazing, classy woman. She is made of some pretty strong stuff. Man, I love that woman.

    Thanks for the reminder re: reality. I needed that.

    ~Jammie J.

  4. grrrace

    Sorry about your loathes. 😦

    I love having you so close by, too. πŸ™‚



    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
    I β™₯ you so much. I hope you know that.

    ~Jammie J.

  5. tony

    Stupid work, we need to win the lottery and live happiely ever after.
    I love you sweetie and we will make it though these rough times together. XXOXOXOXOX

    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
    You are the best. We will make it through together. xoxo

    ~Jammie J.

  6. tony

    oh sorry here is :mrgreen:

    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

    ~Jammie J.

  7. I am sending good thoughts!!
    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
    Thanks — I think I need a ton more!

    ~Jammie J.

  8. Praying for you Auntie.

    I almost forgot to say the other day I LOVED TALKING TO YOU. It was way past time for a girl chat! πŸ™‚

    I think you are one lucky lady to be surrounded close by with great friends and family, and a mom with a great long distance plan. πŸ™‚

    What’s up with me and the smiley’s today. geez.

    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
    Yup, we totally needed the girl chat. And I am very fortunate to be surrounded by so many people that I love. And they love me.

    Hmmm, smileys, let me think… did you get some good news recently? πŸ˜›

    ~Jammie J.

  9. Hope the job gets better, and all the other stuff smooths out. Congrats to you for choosing such a nice hubby.

    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
    Thanks, man.

    ~Jammie J.