Monthly Archives: March 2015

Disney Fan.

I know it’s no surprise to any of you, My People, that we would be raising a Disney fan.  We are cautiously picking and choosing which Disney movies our little person gets to watch.  Meaning Tony asks with unbridled enthusiasm, “WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT STAR WARS?!?”  And I say, “How about Toy Story?”

So, yeah.  About Toy Story.  Is there any 3 year old who doesn’t jump off of furniture and yell, “TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!”  Also, is there any 3 year old in the world who isn’t looking for new, inspired ways to play with his toys?  Which, let’s face it, Toy Story is fantastic for that.  And doesn’t Toy Story prove that “collections” are ridiculous and that a mish-mosh of toys are far better to play with?  For Collection Obsessed parents, like us, this is a good lesson.  Ha!

Then, I get this call at work, “Hi, sweetie, it’s me.”

“Well, hello there.” I drawl in reply.

“I’m on Amazon right now looking at Buzz Lightyear.  Do you think I should get him the 6″ or the 12″ for Easter?  The 12″ does everything Buzz does in the movie, the helmet flips open, his wings pop out, he talks… the 6″ only has the helmet flipping and the wings popping out.  He doesn’t talk.”

I ponder this for a moment and think about storage space, and William wanting to sleep with the new toy, and buttons that talk, possible wake ups from that… “How much are they?”  He replies with details.

Tony then points out that we also have an 8″ dinosaur (a hand-me-down toy from his cousins, I think), which would be “to size” if we were to get a 6″ Buzz.  I point out to Tony, who seems to be a little sad about not getting the Buzz with all the bells and whistles, the time we were at Walmart and William wanted a crappily made police car toy and I told him it didn’t even make sounds… I said, “Remember William looked right at me and started woo-wooing like a police car?  I think the smaller Buzz will be better for his imagination.”

For due diligence purposes, I ask, “Is there a 12 inch Woody?”  And then realize how that must sound to the guy in the cubicle next to me and start laughing.  Tony replies, “No, there’s only an 18″ Woody.”  I respond with, “An 18″ Woody?  Who needs an 18″ Woody?”

At this point, I can’t resist and I go to Amazon myself.  In my search of Woodys and Buzzes, I come across plush toys.  I blurt out, “Oh my.  You can get a Plush Woody!”  This sets off another round of giggles (mine only).

He pauses, and says, “I have a 6″ Woody at home, though.”

“WHAT??? You have a 6″ Woody?  I didn’t know you have a 6″ Woody.  Isn’t that something you think you should tell your wife about?  WHERE do you have your 6″ Woody.”  I’m gasping for air between giggles.

Tony pauses, and waits for me to find my maturity, which just isn’t happening, and says, “It’s in my closet.”

And I just can’t stop laughing.  BECAUSE, WHO KEEPS THEIR SIX INCH WOODY IN THE CLOSET??  TONY DOES, THAT’S WHO.

I needed that laugh this morning.

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Crazy Drivers.

I had a wonderful night’s sleep and felt so relaxed this morning. William woke on his own, and at the perfect time, so we had some wonderful, sweet time together this morning. As I pulled out of the garage and drove down the hill, I debated what music I wanted to hear. I have a love/hate relationship with worship music in the car, it’s a constant battle for me to sing along with worship music while driving in the midst of frustrating traffic, but this morning I felt really positive that I could do it!

I merged onto the freeway and was pleased that I managed to do so without inconveniencing anyone. I merged onto the 405 and then, from a mile behind, someone who had taken the truck bypass lane off the 5 rapidly came up behind me and tailgated me. I ignored him, because most people, when they come off that merge lane choose to go over to the fast lane. My strategy is to stay in the slow lane and merge gradually when the lane ends. So I figured he’d move on in a minute or two.

This guy didn’t do that. He stayed on my tail, and when the slow lane started to slow, he THEN swerved rapidly to the left, to the fast lane, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

I tracked him with my eyes, just a little concerned. He wasn’t hard to miss, since he was tailgating and weaving. I just followed my usual pattern of driving, this lane here, that lane there, I stayed in the slow lane, merging where I needed to, etc., but for the most part just “holding my lane.” Leaving appropriate “heavy traffic” space between cars as usual, just enough for me to be comfortable. Heavy traffic drivers know it’s a fine art of just how much space you can leave without pissing off everyone behind you because you don’t want the entire county to merge in front of you. But I’m always careful to let people in if need be, so they can get over to the car pool lane, etc. Just doing my usual drive. My pattern is a good one, I know this… I’ve been doing this drive since 2009 and my pattern has been proven over and over again, because I’ll usually pick a car or two in other lanes and “track” them. On a normal day, my pattern usually puts me quite a few cars ahead of the ones I’m tracking.

My pattern bore out again today, because despite this guy’s weaving and tailgating, from the fast lane back over to the slow lane, back and forth he went, he wasn’t able to get in front of me. Apparently, I was his car that he was “tracking” and it was pissing him right off. There was one instance that I refused to let him in front of me, I had let someone merge who had just gotten on the freeway, and it was apparent that they were trying to get over to the car pool lane. Now, the thing is, that merging lane is approximately 1 mile, maybe 1.5 miles long. It serves as a major freeway merge on ramp, as well as a major street’s off ramp, 500 feet after the street’s exit lane, the merge lane ends. My experience tells me that the only reason people urgently move over is because they’re trying to get into the car pool lane, because the car pool opening ends mid-point, and people (if they’re trying to get into the car pool lane) have to cross 5 or 6 lanes of cars to get there. For the most part, though, people just be-bop along in that merge lane and then merge like a zipper when it ends. Easy peasy.

After seeing me let a car pool merger in, the Fool decided that he was going to be opportunistic and rapidly “jumped out” into the merge lane, and then attempted to “merge” back in, right into my passenger door! It was at that point I realized, for whatever reason, he had it in for me… because, as mentioned, he could have easily just be-bopped along for another mile and merged back in, but he wanted in front of ME. Since he wasn’t merging into an open space, but rather into my passenger door, I didn’t want to brake abruptly (not sure that would have helped in this instance anyway) and I am rather fond of my passenger door, so, I attempted to change lanes to let him have my spot, but someone was next to me, so I blared my horn at the Fool. He apparently wasn’t expecting really loud air horns to be part of my tiny car, because he backed off and went back behind me.

I was able to safely change lanes a couple seconds after that, intending to let the Fool have my spot, but he followed my lane change. And then from that point on, he copied every single lane change I made and left about 3 inches of room between my rear bumper and his front bumper. To compensate for that (since I’m rather fond of my rear bumper), I left a bit more space in front of me in case traffic were to stop rapidly (which it does in the lane I (we?) was in at that part of the freeway). I was not using my brakes, but rather my engine/stick shift to adjust my speed. I’m sure he thought I was leaving extra space with the sole intent to piss him off, but I wasn’t. When traffic opened up, he zipped into the lane next to me and cut in front of me (despite ample room in both lanes, he just had to make his point), and crammed on his brakes. In his impulsive move, he actually left a better lane open. So I changed lanes to the better lane.

Even though he was now in front of me, he changed lanes to be in front of me and hold me behind him by braking maliciously. I sighed and rolled my eyes. (I really did.) it was apparent that he was desperately trying to start something with me. So, I signaled and changed lanes again, moving to the right, and got behind a car who had a semi truck in front of him. He changed lanes to get in front of the car, wedging himself between the semi truck and the car. I changed lanes, again, pretending i was getting off the freeway. He was unable to change lanes because there was a semi truck where he wanted to go. He executed a rapid two lane change in one fluid swerve to get back in the fast lane and accelerated to tail gate his next victim. And the last I saw of him, he had swerved back to the right, crossing two lanes, and was braking hard because he was behind an SUV.

People like that terrify me. I was still shaking when I got to work. I was thankful that I got to work safely. And I realized my worship music was still playing sweet accompaniment to the craziness as I parked. So, happy Friday to you and I’m glad it’s a happy Friday.

I’m thinking it may be awhile before I brave worship music again in the morning.

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Filed under I ♥ My Miata, Sometimes I Sleep, Spirituality

Another Crazy Hair!!

I should be ashamed of this.  I really should.  But, no one ever had a better laugh about aging than me.  Especially when it’s over such a harmless thing.  My People, I am here to tell you that I have ANOTHER Crazy Hair.  What’s that?  You don’t remember the original Crazy Hair?  You go refresh your memory right now!  I’ll wait.

OK.  You’re back.  Yes, I still have the original Crazy Hair.  Yes, I still torture Tony with it.  He’ll be holding hands with me while we’re driving down the road and pretty soon, I’ve managed to stealthily move his hand so it’s scarily within proximity of the Crazy Hair.  His horrified response is well worth the day or so that he needs to recuperate from that fun!

Now, though, I have another one.  I was looking in my 10x magnifying mirror the other day.  The kind of mirror I strongly recommend against having in your house, because you will find all sorts of horrifying things on your face that you would have been better off not knowing about.  Like, for example, a black hair that sprouted seemingly out of nowhere along my strongly chiseled  slightly sagging, aging jawline.  I noticed it a couple months ago, and like any good person who’s in denial of the aging process, I plucked that sucker right out of there.  It kind of stung when I did it, actually, so, I figured I was successful in removing its established roots.  That theory didn’t work so well.  It showed up again a couple weeks later.  Plucked.  Grew. Plucked. Grew.  Of course it did.  I’m getting old!  That means my ears and nose are getting bigger and I’m growing stiff (ha ha, stiff), I mean, COARSE, black hair in random places!

I’m debating the best way to work this new Crazy Hair into my marital scaring routine.  I mean, we have the original Crazy Hair.  We have the faux air humping routine.  Now I have this?  Could our married life possibly get anymore adventurous??

air humper copy

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Filed under Best Husband, Hair Can Be a Topic of Conversation, I feel Amused

Letter to our 3 year 3 month old

Dear William,

On March 8, 2015, you turned 3 years 3 months old.  You are 42″ tall and weigh 42.8 pounds.  You are in size 5T shirts, 4T pants and shorts, 5T footed sleepers (although I think we need to start looking a bigger sizes in pajamas) and wear size 11/12 EW shoes.

Something that happened this month… after only 3 classes, I decided to change your dance class to a different teacher.  The first dance class you attended, you were excited.  The second dance class you attended, you were looking for a reason to take a break.  So, when three other little girls declared they had to go potty (despite them having gone before the class), you said you did, too.  The third dance class, you went in and were cooperative, but did so with tears running down your face for 10 minutes and then “had to go potty,” but nothing came out.  After reviewing the videos your Grandma D. had taken, I realized that perhaps the teacher’s body language could be viewed as aggressive and I had no idea what she was saying to you.  The biggest thing seems to be that Miss O. consistently reprimanded students for talking.  You claim that you never talked in class, that “Karis did” … but I wonder… you were “teaching” me how to “make a crown” and then follow through with “opening the sun” and I asked you, “Like this?”  And you immediately and emphatically responded with, “We’re opening the sun right now, not talking!”  After all that, I decided that perhaps a better “fit” might be in order.

I switched you to Miss N.’s class… and your Grandma D. took you to observe the class the week prior to starting, which was a fantastic idea!  The teacher came out of the room for something and you reported to me later that “Miss N. said she had to go back in and I said, ‘HA HA HAAAA’ and Miss N. smiled at me!”  The first class you felt you needed Froggy to help you.  The teacher said that was fine, and actually encouraged it.  By mid-class, Froggy was placed by you at the side of the room and you were interacting and doing your best to keep up.  I’m hoping this week’s class brings you laughter and that Froggy will be left at home!

Things you did:

02/09 – first dentist appointment
02/14 – Sea World
02/16 – LegoLand with Mommy
02/21 – Ryan’s 2nd Birthday party
02/28 – Breakfast at Chick-Fil-A with your godparents (a playground where the slide made no noise!)
03/07 – Santa Ana Zoo to see model trains

Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, swim class
Tuesdays, pre-school library storytime
Wednesdays & Fridays, gymnastics at MyGym
Thursdays, dance class

Firsts:
02/09/15 – First Dentist appointment (no x-rays, their machine didn’t work)
02/21/15 – Rode tricycle for first time (and pedaled!!) at Ryan’s house
02/23/15 – First Swim class (with Miss Elaine)

Sleep:
You have not taken a nap this past month at all.  You now tell us that you can’t sleep when the sun is up.  Your Grandma D. still enforces a quiet time, and she rocks you for awhile… but you no longer fall asleep.  You refuse to lie down on your bed, instead choosing to have your quiet time on the floor of your room, in the dark.

Nourishment and Nursing:
We continue to nurse, although I’ve noticed a gradual decrease… you love your morning wake-up nursing session and you stretch that out as long as you can.  If we’re just hanging out at home, you have a tendency to cluster nurse in the mornings.  If we’re out for the day, you’ll usually seek me out in the early afternoon for a nursing session instead… I call it your “quiet time,” because it’s really just you regrouping yourself (instead of taking a nap).  We tend to seek each other out around 5 or 6 PM, and then your bedtime nursing is pretty short.  Not because you don’t want it, but because you fall asleep so quickly (because you no longer nap).  It’s said that child-weaned nurslings generally tend to wean themselves between the ages of 3-4.  I guess we’ll see how this plays out with you.

You eat well and continue to be somewhat adventurous when it comes to sampling food.  When we have soup, it’s quite adorable to watch you stack your spoon.  Every bite has to have a soup cracker and you’ll put nearly anything (except bell pepper) on the spoon with the cracker.  You’ll say, “I’m having potato and a cracker… Mmmmm, that’s good.  Now I’m having onion and a cracker.  Now i’m having a green bean and cracker.”  And on and on it goes.

Things I want to remember:

One of the things we tell you (to make you laugh) when you’re having a difficult time after dinner transitioning to the idea that we’re going home is, “I bought you dinner and stuff!”  Now you repeat it back to us and laugh and laugh. You just think it’s the funniest thing ever.

You like to ask me about the chores that I do, “Mommy do you have chores to do?”  Yes, I reply. “Are they home chores or work chores?”  Because sometimes my chores are about getting ready for work the next day, and other times the chores are about keeping our home running smoothly.  It’s interesting to me that you are classifying my chores.

When I help you clean yourself up, or help you wash your hands, or even help you with a toy that is challenging you, you tell me, “Mommy, you did a good job helping me.”

When we were at LegoLand on President’s day, you accidentally walked under the hand dryer in the restroom.  It triggered and a huge gust of air and loud noise burst forth.  You jumped and almost cried you were so surprised and you said, “Oh no!  Do I still have my hair!”   You later told me that Mr. Steve (your teacher at MyGym) doesn’t have any hair.  I’m still puzzled over the correlation of those two things in your mind.

You were humming the Cars 2 intro song and you stopped after about the 4th round of it and asked, with an impish grin, “When is the man gonna start singing?”

Driving home from Sea World you were eating raisins.   You were bringing them up out of the container and narrating, “These are fishies coming out of the water. This one’s a big whale.”  There was a pause and you added, “It’s just pretend, OK? Because they’re really raisins, OK?”

One morning, you said, “I need to go to the bank!”  Your father and I looked at each other in confusion.  I asked, “Why do you need to go to the bank?”  You replied, “To get stickers!”  Apparently, when you go to the bank with Grandma D. they give you stickers?  I’m still not sure of that one.

On Valentine’s Day, we were heading to Sea World.  As part of our conversation driving down there, your father asked you, “Where should we take mommy for Valentine’s Day?”  You replied, “To the bank!”

One evening, after a big dinner at Chick-Fil-A, and you not having pooped all day, we took a risk and went to the park.  Sure enough, a few minutes of running around and you requested your portable potty.  A few minutes later, you were all done, you got up, turned around and looked and exclaimed, “That’s my work!”

Listening to the Route 66 song, you said, “The music is telling you to turn west!”

You still get all excited when you see a semi-truck and exclaim who the trailer belongs to, whether it be UPS, FedEx, McDonald’s, Walmart or Target… those are the most common ones.

One night, I was talking about how tired I was.  I jokingly mentioned that I was so tired, I might just fall asleep in William’s bed and sleep there all night.  You paused and said, “Mommy? You go sleep in your own bed.”  Although, later that night when I was nursing you to sleep, you sleepily and sweetly told me, “It’s OK.  You can sleep in my bed.”

On my old iPhone, I’ve downloaded some of your favorite songs and an app called “Bible Stories for Kids.”  It’s really a great app and you learn a lot of Biblical details from it.  There are animations of characters that you trigger by touching them.  I use the app to keep you awake when we have our “reconnect” nursing when I get home from work.  One of the animations was a guy sneezing behind another guy and it blew the guy’s turban off.  You played that thing over and over and laughed harder and harder every time it happened.

Driving back from LegoLand on President’s day, we were stuck in traffic. There was a guy in a SUV in the lane next to us on the freeway. You stared at him for a good long while and then said, “Is he eating chocolate?” I looked at him and could see his jaw flexing repeatedly and replied, “No, I think he’s chewing some gum.” You replied, “No. He is definitely eating chocolate.”

One morning after nursing, you started singing this song, “When the sea lions get on board, all aboard! May I say scat? The lizards, and cattles, and kangaroos!”  You stopped and asked me, “What are cattles?”  I still don’t know where the song came from, but you told me it’s about Noah’s Ark.

When getting you cleaned up after going to the restroom, inevitably, your head always ends up in my armpit somehow. Every time, I hear you say, “I love you, mommy.” Which is always nice for a thankless job. Sometimes you’ll sniff and tell me, “Mmmmm, you smell so good.” One evening, you told me that and then added, “Daddy smells good, too. So does grandma, but actually she’s kind of stinky.”

One morning, you woke early and your father went in your room first.  After a few minutes, I went in and your father left.  You curled into me and stuck your face in my neck and said, “Mmmmm you smell good!”  I replied, “Thank you.”  You said, “Daddy does not smell good. Does he need to take a shower or something?”

Stuck in traffic on the freeway, we branched off to another freeway and went up a freeway overpass.  You yelled, “We’re out of traffic! We’re up high! Yay freedom!”

I bought you a new pair of shoes and you wore them for the first time and said, “I like my new chuggers!”

You like to put a spoon in your mouth and hold on to it with your lips.  You then inform us, “I’m an elephant and this is my trunk.”

When you don’t want to do something, you’ll say (for example), “I don’t want to!”  Pause. and then you add, “Uhh!”

One morning, coming downstairs with your daddy after I’d left for work, you looked out the window and exclaimed “Oh no!  It’s foggy!  Mommy might get lost!”

When we were at Ryan’s birthday party, Ryan’s mommy offered to make you a hot dog sandwich, since she was cooking one for Ryan.  You were excited to try it and when she served it to you, you took a bite of it and then said, “This is like Weinerschnitzel!”  What I forgot to tell Ryan’s mommy is that is a high compliment, indeed, since you LOVE Weinerschnitzel.

At Ryan’s birthday party, you got adventurous and went down his little slide on your belly.  You accidentally nose dived at the bottom and had a brown smudge on your nose. After I determined you were OK, I laughed at you and told you that you were Rudolph the Brown Nosed Reindeer.  You replied, “Oh mommy.  Rudolph has a red nose, not a brown nose.”

DSCN2026

The road from your Grandparent’s H. house has quite a steep hill.  Somedays you’ll say it’s a roller coaster and put your hands in the air.  After we let you see the Disney movie, Lady & the Tramp, you howled “Woo wooowooo!” And said, “That’s what we do down the hill when we are doggies!”

One of the questions you ask me when I transition into “business mode” and am just trying to get stuff done is, “Why are you going so fast?”

One of the songs on Signing Time’s Potty Time DVD is about how you’re supposed to listen to your body.  It tells you when it’s time to eat!  It tells you when it’s time to sleep, etc.  The past month or so, you’ve started talking to your body like it’s a 3rd person… “We’re having a picnic, body. Are you hungry, body?” “My body is telling me it’s running around time!” “My body is telling me it’s time to play with the trains now!”

When we were at Yogurtland, I got you three of your favorite flavors, one of which is “Cookie,” which is a type of chocolate.  For myself, I got a different chocolate and I offered you a small taste.  This is rare, I don’t normally let you taste my dessert, but for some reason I did that day.  You tasted it and then, in turn, you dipped your spoon in your chocolate and held it up to me to taste.  I was so pleasantly surprised.

Your father was so impressed one night when, instead of running away from him to go to Sunset Park (our name for the grassy area behind the houses) to see the sunset, you asked his permission to “go watch the sunset, please?”

Your Grandparent’s H. bought you a framed train picture for your 2nd birthday.  It’s been sitting in one spot or another the past year while I tried to find a good spot to hang it.  I finally found a spot I liked it in and put it up.  When I got you ready for bed that night, the first thing you noticed and said was, “You hung up my train picture!”

At the zoo, there was a roped off area for employees only. You told me, “I want to go back there. What’s back there? So many places!”  I told you that it was for zoo employees only.  Then, every person who went past the rope, you asked, “Are they zoo employees?”  There was a little boy who ran past the rope and you asked, “Why is he going back there?”  Then his mommy ran after him, you asked, “Is that his mommy? Is she getting him? What happens if she doesn’t get him?”  I’m thinking this is your version of the infamous “why?” phase I’ve heard so much about?

Every night during our prayer time, we give thanks to the Lord for all the things that blessed us during the day, or in recent memory.  If there’s a special need or something on our minds that needs to be settled, we pray for that, too.  The things you like to thank Jesus for are mommy and daddy, Grandma D., Grandma and Grandpa H., MyGym, Swim class and Dance class, the Queen Mary and for precious time spent together as a family.  We realize that every moment with you is precious and, even if we’re having a hard time or a rough day… it’s OK, we’re human.  I apologize to you if I’ve wronged you and you do the same to me, and we tell each other, “I forgive you.”  I tell you that I’m learning how to be a better mommy every single day and you tell me that you’re learning to be better, too.

We’re in this life together.  Trying and learning… together.  No matter what we face, I am so happy that we are a family.

2 years 3 months

Love you forever,

Momma

Pictures from this month can be found here: LINK

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Voting Sticker

If I wanted to live on the edge, I suppose I could wear my sticker early.


-Jammie J.

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