Monthly Archives: February 2015

Swim Disguise

At Chick-Fil-A this past Saturday, I glanced over to the line of people waiting to order and noticed my neighbor. While she waited, she looked around Chick-Fil-A, and as her eyes neared me, I waved at her.

We primarily see each other at the pool and occasionally will lap swim together. We’ve had many discussions over the years while we kickboard together, from the loss of her mom, turmoils at our jobs, the loss of her job, cost of electricity, discussions about travel, etc. We’ve known each other for years. She has an incredible memory for details and pretty much remembers every single thing anyone tells her.

She looked at me, then looked again. I could tell she didn’t recognize me at the first glance, and when she did recognize me, she said, “Oh, I’m so glad you waved! I didn’t recognize you at first. Is William here?”

I replied that he was, he was just playing in the playground area. She said, “Oh, that makes sense.”

I didn’t think anymore about it until the next day and remembered she had done that to me before. I showed up at a community board meeting and she didn’t know who I was until I started talking to the board about some of the issues we were having at the pool. She told me later she hadn’t recognized me, and that I sure looked nice dressed in my business suit.

Now, I’m starting to wonder… do I really look THAT different in street clothes than when I’m at the pool? I’m not sure if my swim suit is totally grungy (probably), or if I just look way different in a swim cap vs. having long hair (maybe?), or maybe we’re just pool friends (fair weather friends?). Possibly, I’m just “William’s mom” now (grunt.). Or maybe, now that I’m in my 40’s, I’ve finally melded into the non-descript portion of the population (another grunt).



Filed under Mermaid Envy

Letter to our 3 Year 2 month Old

Dear William,

On February 8, 2015, you turned 3 years 2 months old. You are 42″ tall and weigh 41 pounds 11 oz. You are wearing 5T shirts, 4T pants, 5T footed sleepers and size 11 extra wide toddler shoes.

Things we did this month:

01/17 – Santa Ana Zoo with both Grandmas
01/17 – playdate with Ryan at his house
01/19 – First Soccer Class
01/23 – First Dance Class
01/31 – Mountain cabin for the weekend — it snowed!!!

Tuesdays, Pre-K Library storytime and crafts
Tuesdays & Thursdays, Gymnastics Class


You rode your scooter correctly for the first time this month, keeping one foot on the board and using the other foot to push yourself along. Before, you would have both feet on the board and either just stand there or wait for someone to push you.

The ever elusive nap is rapidly fading. On weekends, I no longer bother offering you a nap. Weekdays with Grandma D., she offers you “quiet time” and I prefer that to be offered around 1pm. If you do happen to fall asleep, I’ve requested she wake you at 2:30pm, and even with that wake time, you aren’t able to fall asleep until 10:00pm at the earliest.

You do well with your eating, for the most part. You are at least willing to try most any food at least once. Although, you seem to be overly sensitive to “spicy” things. This “sensitivity” is clearly your father’s fault, as I like my hot sauce with a side of food. ha! In fact, you now look at my plate and ask me, “Is that your spicy food, mommy?”

You do well when we go out to eat, although, I’ve noticed you do have a definite “transitional outburst” when we get to the restaurant. I believe this is due to you being hangry, and I try to head it off with an “appetizer” when we get seated. If I forget, then I find myself wondering where the contrary child sitting at our table came from.

We continue to nurse and it is truly one of the joys of my life and one of the most calming and comforting things for you. It is often one of the tools I use to comfort you when you are upset or to help you fall back to sleep if you have an early wake time.

Nursing you before work one morning, you reached over your head and held your other hand. Or so I thought. You looked up at me and held eye contact with a smile curving your lips as you continued to nurse. I asked you, “Are you holding your own hand?” You unlatched and said, “No. This says I… love… you. See?”

What you had been doing was not holding your other hand, but rather holding down your ring and middle finger with your other hand so you could make the ‘I love you’ sign to me.

Things I want to Remember:

Talking of all the places we could go in an airplane, you asked me, “Can I just fly up in the sky?”

You are accumulating a to-do list for when you get older. You tell me, “When I’m older I can scoop cat poop and go to Mommy’s work and type on the computer, and then go to Daddy’s work and type on the computer. And I can fill that (pointing at the humidifier in your room) with water and turn the sound machine on and turn movies on downstairs and drink coffee!

On the opposite end of the spectrum, you’ve told me that you don’t want to get older and carry daddy around.  Then you asked me, “Are you going to get little?”

Getting ready for work one morning, you touched my nylons and asked, “What is this on your leg, mommy?” Apparently, I don’t often wear nylons?

Walking on your knees, you told me, “I’m a snail!” And if you walk with your hands down and butt in the air, you tell us, “I’m a bear!”

You REALLY enjoyed your visit to the Queen Mary and you didn’t want to leave, even though we had seen everything that was there. A couple days later, you told your Grandma D. that you have three homes: Big Bear, the Queen Mary and Home-home.

After our visit to the Queen Mary, I now have to include thanks for that in our nightly prayer. If I don’t, you will speak up and tell me, “Thank you, Jesus, for the Queen Mary. TOOT! TOOT!”

If anyone has a birthday within your vicinity, like at a restaurant, you will say, “I need a birthday too…” What you mean is, you “need” a birthday cake.

When we were out to eat this past month, I asked you if you wanted some steak. You very politely replied, “No, thank you. I’m fine thank you for asking, though.”

When you see a police car or motorcycle with their lights flashing, you say, “Uh oh. Someone’s in trouble.”

How clever you are when I was trying to get you to take a nap so we could stay out late in the evening. You comfort nursed and then put Froggy over your eyes for 10 minutes, then pulled it off and said, “I took a little snooze!”

How hilarious it was to me, one night I was recording you while you sang Away in a Manger. As it happened, you got midway into the 2nd verse and saw the camera and stopped. I told you I wasn’t going to record it if you weren’t singing and turned to walk away. You then followed me all the way down the hallway repeatedly saying the next lyric, which just happened to be, “I want to love the Lord Jesus!  I want to love the Lord Jesus!”

Along the same lines, on my old iPhone I have an app called Bible stories for Kids.  It tells stories with interactive pictures and, if you haven’t taken a nap and it gets to be evening time and you ask to nurse (like when I get home from work), I use it as a tool to keep you awake.  You asked for it one night when it was close to bedtime and I told you it was time for bed.  Your response was, “But I want my Bible!”

One evening out to dinner at a restaurant that had plates displayed on the walls, you started pointing at them and then said the little Apostles poem: “This is how the apostles go, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John…” and named every single one of them, pointing at a different plate for each one. I don’t know what the connection was with the plates and the apostles, but it was quite hilarious.

I finally got the Christmas tree undecorated and put away before the end of January.  You found an ornament that I had missed and you told me, “What should I do with this?  Should I put it on the tree? Daddy go get the tree and put it back up!”

You still love Signing Time, and particularly the TreeSchoolers. Now you tell me, “You’re Rachael, mommy! You sing pretty!”

You love to pretend that you’re daddy coming home from work. You go out into the garage and then come in and tell me, “I’m daddy! I was cleaning cat poop!”

How you found a tiny little fireman hat for a doll and you put it on your head and told me, “I’m a fireman!”

When we had just gotten over being sick, I came home from work and told you that I thought I was getting sick again. You told me, “No, mommy I don’t want you to be sick.” I replied, “I don’t want to be sick either! What should I do?” You replied, “Wash your hands!”

Every day when we were all sick, you would go ask your father, “Daddy? Are you feeling better?”

It’s always to neat to find out what’s on your mind. One night you started laughing while you were nursing yourself to sleep. I asked you what was funny. You replied, “Wood chips on the sidewalk at the park!”

You are now obsessed with germs. So, when you wash your hands, you tell me, “Talk about the germs, mommy!” And I’m supposed to enact the germs going down the drain. Then, if you sneeze, I tell you to cover your mouth and you tell me, “No, I’m spreading my germs EVERYWHERE!!! I’m going to make mommy and daddy sick!”

You like to pretend that your bath toys are shoes. You hold them like you’re putting them on your feet and tell me, “Say ‘That’s not a shoe’ mommy”. You also love the Soap Game, where I put foaming soap on your hands, and you clap them together and see where the soap goes. You love to try to get the soap on me and ask me after every “clap”, did I get you? Where did I get you?

One evening we left the drive-through and I checked the bag and remarked that there was no Splenda in there for my drink. From the backseat I heard you say, “Is the fireman supposed to come?” Confused, I asked you why a fireman would be coming. You replied, “Because Chick-Fil-A forgot to give you Splenda.”

Driving to our mountain cabin, you started telling us a story that went like this, “The bad guy fought the mice away and then they do dancing… Grandma’s not supposed to stop it, but that’s the whole story… The good guys are soldiers and the bad guy looked like the good guys and he chased the mice away. Then there was dancing.” When I asked you what the story was, you said, “That’s the Nutcracker Suite.”

When we went to the restroom in our mountain cabin, you told me, “This toilet is better than at home.”  I replied, “Oh?”  You said, “Yes because it’s Big Bear and it’s softer!”  (It is softer, it’s a padded toilet seat.)

Watching the Planes 2 movie, every time the music score would come on during the movie, you would ask, “Who’s playing that music?”

When we were headed to the candy store, you said, “I can’t have that! It has sugar in it and sugar is bad for me!”

One day you asked me, “Does a butterfly give me butter?”

When I was sick and trying to sleep, you came in to check on me and then left, you told me, “I’m leaving the door open just a little bit for you, mommy. See that little bit of light? That’s better than turning the big light on, now isn’t it? You go on to sleep now, mommy.”

One morning you woke up with a stuffy nose. You asked me, “If I have booger in my nose, I can blink really hard and that will make it better, right?” I asked you, “Oh, did that work for you?” You replied, “No.”

You stopped by my work one day this past month to nurse on my lunch hour.  I took you to the restroom and in our restroom at work, we have poo pourri spray.  You spotted the bottle and asked what it was, I told you.  You replied, “And WHAT does Poo Pourri do?”

You really notice details, like this story your Grandma D. shared with me, “William saw an “M” on the helmet of the driver of a motorbike yesterday. He started laughing & said that the driver came from McDonald’s. The letter was very small. I didn’t even see it until he talked about it.”

You have become very interested in maps this past month, one night you pointed at a map and said, “I’m going to Egypt where Abraham lives!”

You randomly will stop and pray, for example, if the sunset is particularly beautiful, you’ll say, “Thank you, Jesus, for the beautiful sunset.”  Then you report back to me, even though I’m standing right there with you, “I told Jesus about the beautiful sunset.  He says it IS beautiful!”

It’s so funny to look at you sometimes and realize that 3 years have gone by in seemingly the blink of an eye.  I look at these things I want to remember about you and wonder how you could possibly be any funnier, yet you’ve had this personality since you were a small baby.  Every night when we nurse you to sleep, I wonder how my life could possibly be any more blessed, or how my heart could be any fuller. I spend so much of my time when I’m home laughing about something that either you or your father are doing or saying.  And another thing I’m so grateful for is that you brought the name “Grandma” to my mom, and she came “home” to be near me, so that she could know you, help teach you, and take care of you when we’re at work.

This is not how I imagined my life could be 15 years ago, 10 years ago, or even 5 years ago.  No.  I couldn’t possibly have imagined how blessed I would be today.  Blessed, ten times a William.

Pictures from this month can be found here:  Link


Love you forever,



Filed under Letter to William, Our Kid is Cute

Growing Pains.

Last night William woke, crying, around 10:30pm (after having been asleep since 7:45pm), Tony went to soothe him, but nothing he was doing was working. I was downstairs working on taxes, so I saved my work and turned off the computer.  I headed to William’s room to talk to him. He said he wanted to nurse, but he kept flexing his legs and crying, so he wasn’t maintaining a latch.

He continued to cry, sobbing out answers to me as I asked him questions.  He told me his knees hurt. I asked him if it felt better if he extended his legs, or curled them up, he said both hurt. I set him on his feet and asked him if it hurt more to stand up, he said it didn’t. I asked, while rubbing his calves, if it hurt there, he said no. I asked if his foot hurt and rubbed the bottom of his feet, he said no. After a few minutes of this, him still crying and flexing his legs, I determined that we should give him some Advil and that I would lay down with him so he could stretch out.  I let him know that I would only be staying until he was relaxed and asleep, and then I was going to my bed, so that if he did awaken later, he wouldn’t freak out because I wasn’t there with him.  He calmed down after a bit, still flexing his legs, and as the medicine took effect, he relaxed and curled up against me and drifted off back to sleep.

I left his room, concerned, so I started researching on my phone, because I had recently finished a course of Ciprofloxacin, which does transfer to breastmilk in small amounts and one of the side effects of that can be joint development in infants… but my doctor felt that since he’s a nursing toddler he would be OK, and my research at the time of prescription bore that out.

However, in my research last night, I came across an article on this site on WebMD about growing pains vs. childhood arthritis. ( It was an informative article, and I felt educated, until I got to the last paragraph. I found myself wondering WHY WebMD decided that paragraph needed to be included… to me, it was such an unexpected inclusion, and was not related to the issues they were discussing at all. In my opinion, it stepped across the line from educating about medical issues to warning about parental choices. I actually felt kind of insulted, because it’s those types of things that lead a parent to not trust your child, to doubt your parenting choices, and can ultimately drive a wedge between you and your child by making a person question whether or not they’re doing the right thing by responding to children when they cry in the night. I have a tendency to look at relationships with a long-term lens and I wonder if these “doctors” factor in the fact that relationship foundations are laid when a child is this age, and what happens when these toddlers are teenagers? Doctors encourage parents to establish boundaries for night time sleep, laying the groundwork for good sleep for the future. I wonder if they ever think about the fact that when kids turn into teenagers, a whole lot of them turn into night owls, and they do the majority of their thinking and emotional growth at night. And what if you, as their parent, are not available? They will find someone to talk to, and it won’t be you.

The way I see it is, at this age children are just learning to communicate, and how on earth does Dr. Vogler know beyond a doubt whether children experience growing pains every single night? They might. And even if they don’t, what is wrong with responding to your child when they cry? Just because it may not be a physical need, but an emotional one, does that make their need less valid somehow? In William’s example, I’m still not sure if it was his knees that were hurting him (joint pain), or his bones lengthening, because I’m not even sure how *I* would describe my bones hurting me to someone, and I have a much vaster vocabulary than he does at 3. So, if we (as parents/ adults), assume that a child is getting “spoiled by late night attention” or “overindulged” and refuse to go to them, doesn’t that cut off the ability to communicate, which is the heart of any relationship?
webmd bad paragraph

Anyway, after researching all this and talking to a couple friends whose kids have had growing pains, I think we’ll take a wait and see attitude on this.  Although, now, since I was a late bloomer, I find myself wondering if all the knee pain I had when I was a teenager was, in fact, growing pains.


Filed under Our Kid is Cute, Parental Theory

The Sick. It won’t Go Away.

I can’t remember the last time I’ve been non-stop sick like this. It’s getting to the point of ridiculous. It all started when we went to Disneyland for William’s birthday. Because we ALWAYS get sick when we go to Disneyland. I just expect it. William got The Sick first. Of course he did. He’s the kid. That’s what kids do. If I were a jerk, I’d just say that he’s a walking petrie dish… but I’m not, so I’ll just say that his immune system isn’t fully developed, so he’s more susceptible to germs. Poor thing.

ANYWAY, so, yeah. That was on December 6th. I went to the doctor and was told there was nothing that could be done, just gotta tough it out. Fantastic! I’m always thrilled to spend a $20 copay to be told I’m a wuss.

I overheard that people in our accounting department have had multiple rounds of The sick… so it’s going around at work, too. Yippee!

Then we got The Sick again over the holiday break. I even had my payroll department to change one of my “vacation” designated days to “sick time” because I spent time visiting the doctor and was smart enough to actually get a note from him to prove it. But he basically told me the same thing as before, just gotta suck it up and deal.

Then, on January 1, I changed doctors and made yet another doctor visit on 1/4. This time I got antibiotics and got better, but 5 days after the antibiotics were gone, I got Sick. Again. That was mid-January, so I got different antibiotics (after another doctor visit).

Then I found out that the guy who is over the cubicle wall from me was sick, so I wasn’t really surprised when, ON THE VERY LAST DAY OF MY ANTIBIOTICS, I got The Sick AGAIN. And here I am. Sick. I am livid about The Sick.

So, I’ve decided that henceforth, this shall be my new outfit.

masked umbrella and tin foil

That won’t look strange at all, will it?


Filed under Health/Endo, I feel Amused, I Worry A lot