Category Archives: I have Friends

January 18, 2010 · 3:59 pm

Going Places.

Since you last saw me, I’ve been to northern California and back. Monterey/Salinas area to be precise. The handful of times I’ve been there was with my ex-husband and while I loved that area, he had a tendency to cast a pallor of gloom over everything. A little advice right here? If you have a suspicion that you’ll love some place, don’t let someone who’s a weenie take you there. Or just avoid weenies.

Anyway…

One of my friends from high school, Bridgett, lives up there and so it worked out that we were able to hang out with her quite a bit of the time, which was thoroughly enjoyable. The last time I saw her was in 2001 and we determined that nine years is far too long of a time between visits. She and her roommates were incredibly hospitable, generous and welcoming to us. In fact, I’d never met her roommates before in my life, but felt as if I’d known them for years. I love people like that.

Bridgett is a starving artist, or we can call her a cartoonist at large! She’s had creative artistic talent for as long as I can remember and I think high school art class is actually how we met. She did something with it, though, as far as college and schooling and education, and her comic strip recently made it into the local paper. I’m so proud of her. You should be, too, because I said so and also, because she was really tolerant and humble when I embarrassed her by making her autograph everything she gave me. A copy of her cartoon on the front page of the Monterey Herald’s Sunday funnies? Please autograph. A piece of paper with directions? Please autograph. HAA!

Bridgett’s strip, Squid Row, on the front page of her local newspaper… autographed

You can find her stuff here: LINK

Besides visiting with her and touring her studio, or rather, her Cartoonery, other highlights while visiting the area included driving the 17 Mile Drive and ogling the breathtaking scenery, which included enormous waves colliding with immense power upon boulders and sheer cliffs, Bird Rock covered with so many sea lions that it looked as if, from a distance, it was covered with brown, wiggling worms, but we could hear them noisily expressing their opinions from shore, and in contrast, deer quietly standing alongside the road with green beards of grass dangling from their mouths as they quietly observed us taking their picture, and, of course, the Lone Cypress secured to the rock upon which it stands with cables, a stark silhouette against a gray sky, reminiscent of Charlie Brown’s Christmas tree when compared to the lush cypress trees nearby.

Bird Rock with sea lions…

The Lone Cypress

Deer with beards…

When we picked Tony up from the San Jose airport on Saturday, we visited the Winchester House. Truly, a spectacular experience. I took a ton of pictures, many of which were highly illegal (you know me and my pictures!). We did both the Mansion Tour and the Behind the Scenes Tour and they were equally entertaining, fascinating and informative.

One thing, though, if you have kids who are under 5 years old, I would not recommend taking them on any tours of the mansion. Kids love stairs and, yes, there’s a whole lotta stairs. The problem occurs when you pull the child away from the stairs to stay with the tour, and you combine that with a tour time when your child would normally be napping. Can you say “meltdown?” One child with a non-stop, hour long, shrieking meltdown equals 25 unhappy tour guests. Ugh. The tour guide offered them a credit if they wanted to “take a tour at a later time” and suggested that they could “leave and join the tour at any time”… but the parents resolved to stay with the tour, for what purpose I have no idea. It’s not like they (or anyone else) could HEAR anything the guide was saying over the 100 decibel siren that was squirming in their arms. Common sense, people, common sense.

We also went to the Steinbeck Center, which was a really educational and interactive experience. Since Salinas is a valley whose main history is rooted in agriculture and farming, and the cycle of same, and Steinbeck’s life was influenced by that, there was also a section in the museum showing the stages of crops and how they get from the fields to our kitchens. Another section in the museum was dedicated to the fine arts and local artists, however, we didn’t visit that part since Bridgett wasn’t featured in it! We could have spent much longer there, but we needed to head off to the airport… two hours is enough time to get a good feel for the place.

Oh but that all crossword puzzles could be solved just by pushing a button!

In the agriculture museum, I got to be a trucker!

We had dinner out a couple of times, once in Salinas at a wonderful Italian restaurant and once at a restaurant on Fisherman’s Wharf in Monterey. Both restaurants were suggested, and dinner was generously gifted to us, by Bridgett and her roommates. I truly am blessed to have good friends.

Sadly, we didn’t have time to go to the world-renowned Monterey Bay Aquarium (they have an octopus!!) because we departed Sunday afternoon, just before The Big Storm of California, January 2010, swept through the area. I’m currently listening to it beat down on the roof of my home and I’m so glad to be here and not out there in it traveling in a tin can through the sky.

Soooo, what have you done since last Thursday?

15 Comments

Filed under Best Husband, I have Family, I have Friends, I Left Home for Awhile, I Stimulate the Economy, I'm Never too Old to Learn

January 5, 2010 · 11:45 pm

Love & Loathe – 01/05/10

Loathe:

* Being sick. Yes, still. This is one hell of a doozy of a cold. My refrigerator could take lessons from my sinuses on replenishing. Amazing, it truly is. It’s a shame scientists haven’t found a use for all this phlegm that people cough up during cold season… maybe that’s the solution to the gasoline crisis? Phlegm cars?

* There are absolutely no jobs at this time in my area of expertise for which to apply. Not that I could’ve interviewed, anyway, what with having no voice. I’m assuming that this is due to companies FYE and holidays that just passed. I’m also hoping and praying that this will change soon, as it’s somewhat disheartening for me.

* Being asked by well-meaning people the status of my unemployment. It’s kind of a sore spot.

* Dealing with incompetent people who are employed (waves at Best Buy). Really, it’s like rubbing salt in the wound of my unemployment and drastically reduces my patience, which was low anyway, for their idiocy.

Love:

* Souplantation. Especially if it means I get to see my friend, Grace.

* Prescription cough syrup. Promethazine and codeine, how I love thee!

* I think we got the fish situation under control. Strange thing that. In the midst of all the tetras dying, and the male guppy dying, the female guppy we bought from the fish store gave birth. So there, in the midst of death, with anti-ick medication swirling in the water, we have new life and me freaking out trying to SAVE THE BABY FISH! And WHERE ARE THE OTHER BABY GUPPIES? We only found one baby guppy (odd, indeed), but so far, baby guppy is alive, swimming, eating, pooping and growing. Which is pretty much what baby fish are supposed to do.

* The mommy visit is going well. At least I think so. Neither of us have physically harmed each other yet. This is good, yes?

One Last Thing:

On a rainy day last week, I thought it might be interesting to go out to the Richard Nixon library. I’ve wanted to for a couple years now, because for the holidays they have a couple special displays… one of which was trains. Lego trains, toy trains, remote control trains, videos of trains… it’s really quite spectacular, even if you’re not all that into trains. The other is a display called “Christmas Trees of the World.” There were numerous Christmas trees, each decorated with ornaments specific to the country it represented… of course, the German tree had the hidden pickle.

It really was an interesting thing to do on a rainy day with my mom. While it was interesting and there were a lot of interesting things there, I found myself thinking, “Of course they had to open a library. Every President would have to. What else would former Presidents do with all the interesting crap they accumulated during their Presidency?”

24 Comments

Filed under Entertainment can be Cheap, I have Family, I have Friends, I Left Home for Awhile

December 1, 2009 · 12:59 pm

Love & Loathe – 12/01/09

Loathe:

* My birthday month is over.

* The radio station I listen to started playing Christmas music ONE WEEK BEFORE Thanksgiving. I was irritated by that until I remembered that they STOP playing Christmas music at 11:59 on 12/25. Backwards to me, they should play Christmas music AFTER Christmas, I think.

* The bizarre overreaction of a certain family member to a request to meet for coffee. If the fair had a contest for Weird Family Members, I think this particular one would win all the ribbons available.

* All the big bills that come due in December — like property tax, auto insurance, to name a couple. Ugh.

Love:

* Seasonal flavored coffee. Pumpkin Spice and Eggnog flavors are what I’ve had so far. So good.

* Doing things I would never have thought to do and loving it. Like a taking hike in the marsh areas of the Orange County coastlands.

* Slide on toilet paper dispensers.

* Reading the Twilight books. I really enjoyed them.

* My cat, Tug. He is so loyal and responsive to me. I call his name and wherever he is, he comes running with a purr-meow. I love that and I love him. I’m so glad we found each other and can’t believe that it was seven years ago. Thanksgiving of 2002 I found him in Texas, he grabbed me, didn’t let go, and I flew him home to California.

(This is his “Let me on your lap so I can knead you” look.)

One Last Thing:

Speaking of Texas, and all the good things there, my mom and I will be visiting the Houston area the end of January. If you happen to be in the area and want to hook up, let me know and we’ll see if we can coordinate.

25 Comments

Filed under I have Family, I have Friends, Love/Loathe

November 3, 2009 · 10:06 pm

Love & Loathe — 11/03/09

Love:

* Tater tots. Such a simple pleasure.

* My pumpkin cookies. With chocolate chips. I made some with raisins for Tony, but chocolate chips are the best.

* Pomegranates. Preferably without worms in them. *shudder*

* I got an extra day before they turned the heat off in the community pool. I’ll take that as an unexpected birthday gift.

* Halloween sales. Yes, I got my Halloween tree at Hallmark. *grin*

* Disneyland on my birthday. They give you a pin to wear, and when Disneyland employees see it, it’s their cue to say “Happy Birthday” … I received 19 Happy Birthday wishes in about 2 hours. Love it.

* Having a novel reading day just because I feel like it.

* Family & friends. I simply love them. I love that they took it upon themselves to make a fuss over my birthday.

* We’re going to the mountains this weekend. I love the mountains.

Loathe:

* Ummm, huh. Not coming up with anything for this week.

One Last Thing:

Last week I made shredded beef burritos for dinner. Since I was clearing out the meat in the freezer, and I wasn’t sure how long the beef I was using had been in there, I tossed the beef in the crockpot and used one of those slow cooker liners that I love so much for making clean-up easy.

A few hours into the slow cooking process, to my surprise given how well-sealed my crockpot is, I heard it sizzling over there and thought I should go check it out. The heat and pressure had apparently created a suction effect, which had caused the liner to puff up and actually lift the 3 pounds of beef on a cloud of hot air.

What a cool science thing!

12 Comments

Filed under I have Family, I have Friends, I Left Home for Awhile, Love/Loathe

September 26, 2009 · 9:32 pm

Pruning and Healing.

I did some yard work last weekend, pruning back some of my plants.

My gardenia tree bloomed so profusely this year, leaving a bunch of browned out, spent blooms at the end of its arms like crumpled, well used napkins. My guava tree actually fruited this year, but lost all its leaves in the process and my artichoke plant renewed itself, but didn’t produce any artichokes. My fig tree only made three figs, so I pruned that back pretty profusely in the hopes it will make more next year. My rose bush had dead heads galore, effectively stumping it as to what it was supposed to do next. I hadn’t paid attention to my geraniums and they had become long and gangly, with blooms and leaves only at the ends of three foot long tentacles.

My plants are the perfect example of how I let my life become this past year. Still growing, reaching for the sun, but the soul and roots need desperate attention. I let myself become unbalanced and uncentered.

Saija pointed out in the comments of the previous post that there must be so much around here that I’m doing. Yes, I would say so.

I make sure I swim laps every morning for 45 minutes, for obvious reasons (at least to me). Exercise is good for my health — emotional and physical. I check online job sources (monster, indeed.com, EDD’s website, and a couple of others — if you know of others, please do let me know in the comments). I also make sure I get out of the house each day, if even for just a short drive and I’ve been doing little organizational projects around the house. And cooking.

This past week, I had lunch with my two bosses from the job I held four years ago, the bosses from whom I inherited my fish that I’ve come to love so much. That lunch was a big step for me (several reasons, which I won’t get into here), but it turned out to be a really positive experience, a healing experience. I’m so glad I reached out to them.

I also had lunch with a dear friend in San Diego on her 40th birthday. It was accidental on my part, I had forgotten it was her birthday, but it meant so much to me (and her, I think) to be a part of her day. Since I was in San Diego, I stopped by Sea World for a couple hours just to say “hi” to all the critters. You know how I love critters… and chocolate funnel cake.

I am at peace with where I’m at right now. I know the “right” job for me is out there, the timing just has to line up and I know it will. It’s happened too often in the past for it not to happen again.

In the meantime, I’m pruning my roots and healing my soul and, as my sister-in-law stated tonight, I’m also “networking” with all these lunches I’m doing. Networking is important.

As I tell Tony nightly, I’m very busy being unemployed!

14 Comments

Filed under I have Friends, Money Hump Building

September 2, 2009 · 9:42 pm

No Love & Loathe…

I was planning to write my weekly Love/Loathe/One Last Thing but, bummer for you, I have much more to say than bullet points.

I keep waiting for the panic to set in, the panic related to “Oh my God, I’m jobless in the highest unemployment rate the country has ever seen!!” But so far it hasn’t. In the meantime while we wait for the panic, we’ll talk about the hurt over the way they handled my termination — my boss wasn’t even there! When I explained the situation to my Aunt Marjorie, she summed it up best with, “Sounds like a lot of skullduggery going on!” She went on to tell me, in the no nonsense manner she has, to “put some starch in your britches and don’t fall into depression like so many other people do when they lose their job.”

I surely do love my Aunt Marjorie. I come from some amazing survivors.

I cried a lot Monday night and Tuesday — and that’s OK. I think it’s OK to feel hurt. I think it’s OK to grieve the loss, not only the financial loss, but the loss of so many friendships — people I truly adored working with each and every day. Dear God, that part of it really hurts. The handful of people who were around when I was terminated (you can’t hide much in cubicle land) were liberal in their comforting hugs, sympathy and expressions of shock — I think the adoration was mutual.

There’s something special about that company. Something I’ve never been able to quite lay my finger on and say, “That’s it! That’s where the magic is!” That company has managed to hire people who are genuine, helpful, incredibly talented, smart… every single person who works there is willing to be there for you if you need them. Sure they’re human, and there were day-to-day frustrations and irritations, but those were always, always dimmed by the overriding “magic.” I never experienced true, willing teamwork until I worked there and it was a daily gift.

I’ve tried to reach my former boss, but she’s “unavailable” and I suppose I would be, too, given that I’m sure she doesn’t want to deal with someone who she thinks is bitter and angry, when that’s what HR is for.

The thing is, I’m not bitter and angry… I’m hurt and I’d like to tell her that and hear what she has to say. But mostly, and perhaps oddly, I wish I could tell her that I’m thankful for the time I had there. I’m thankful that I had such a wonderful boss as her, and the other two gentlemen for whom I had the honor to work. She gave me the platform on which to grow my confidence and skills. She was gifted in assigning new duties to me — she knew I could do them, but never left me feeling like I was doing them alone. Her trust in my abilities and judgment, and her support of the business decisions I made, enabled me to heal from the antics of the boss I had at my previous job. She mentored and coached me in such a way that I never felt “less” when I wasn’t sure what decision I should make. She always, always greeted me with a smile and took the time to answer my questions, even when I knew she was having a rough day. There are so many other things I could list about her, but the bottom line is, those traits are not common finds in many executives, and for that reason, they were gifts. She is an incredible businesswoman.

And I guess that’s the thing. It is just business. This was a business decision she made on behalf of the company. She’ll take on my work, I’m sure, and will go back to working 18 hour days, the kind of hours no one should have to work. But she will, because she’s just that way.

Me, well, I’ve filed for unemployment, completed the termination paperwork, took the time to redesign my resume, contacted my references, and have already started the job hunt. On the extracurricular side, I’ve gone swimming during the daytime, gone to the San Diego Wild Animal Park (on a guest pass) with my friend, Grace, and helped Tony out with a couple of projects. Since I have the time, maybe I should go visit some of you guys? I’ve already teased my mom that I might come see her in South Korea! *grin*

So, yeah, termination sucks and I’m very sad, but it’s part of life. From here, the journey continues and I’m hopeful (right now) that the next job will be even better and I’ll be even more blessed. That hope is, in no small way, attributable to you guys, and my friends and family. All of y’all are my inspiration.

I am so blessed.

10 Comments

Filed under I feel Hope, I have Family, I have Friends, I Left Home for Awhile, Mermaid Envy, Money Hump Building, Women Before Me

July 18, 2009 · 12:50 am

Weekend Already? Really?

It’s been a good week. Idyllic, even. I took some vacation time this week to hang out with my mom and make sure that her needs were met. We’ve been going swimming every morning, it’s been hot during the days but at that time of the morning, the temperature is just perfect for a swim outdoors.

My mom and I hung out at home today, she worked on paperwork and I got through the stack of paperwork that I’ve been ignoring for who knows how long. I’m pleased with myself for that. Between that and the hour long nap I took, the other thing I managed to do was upload pictures from our jaunt in San Francisco, which can be found here: LINK

I made some more of my ACV rinse (apple cider vinegar, aloe vera & a stalk of rosemary) this afternoon and left the bottles sitting on the kitchen counter — they’re really kind of pretty. Tony saw them tonight and commented that there’s a plant growing in my bottles. For some reason that made me laugh.

We had dinner tonight with Grace and her family. When Tony and I got married nearly four years ago, Grace and her husband were a special part of our wedding. Her husband photographed the event and Grace was, for all intents and purposes, informally my Maid of Honor. Or technically Matron of Honor, I suppose. My mom wasn’t able to attend our wedding in person, so she attended via telephone and Grace was the one who held the phone during the ceremony. Tonight was the first time my mom and my friend were finally able to meet each other.

I took my mom over to the train station yesterday so she could go visit my brother. Watching that train leave with her on it made me terribly sad, even though I knew she’d be back in just a few hours. So I went to the grocery store and bought her some fig newtons — I know she loves those things. It made me feel better and they made her happy later that night.

On Wednesday, Tony’s mom took my mom shopping — I think it’s very cool that our mommies get along so well that they can spend a day shopping together. I’m guessing they could probably spend a lot of time together and not even notice that it was passing so quickly. During that time, since I wasn’t needed at home, I went into work for four hours. That night, we met some longtime family friends in Downtown Disney for dinner. It made for a long day for us, an even longer day for them (they drove up from San Diego county to meet up with us), but it was so worth it and we all enjoyed it.

My mom even got to meet my Fish Whisperer — in a surprise visit, he stopped by to drop off some spirulina (fish food) and pick up some tank dividers that I’m no longer using. She’s heard so much about him and he saved her grandfish, it seemed pretty cool that she got to meet him.

Our little birdy loves having someone here all day. She chirps and chatters away to express her happiness. Snug has been creeping out and actually let my mom pet him today, I think, which is really sweet. We had a hummingbird sitting on our string of lights in the back yard for six or seven hours today. At one point, I even opened the slider door to get a better picture and the hummingbird just looked at me and didn’t even care. My mom worried that maybe the hummingbird is sick, do hummingbirds normally perch somewhere for that long? I hope so, because I don’t want to find a dead hummer in one of my plants back there.

We have family time tomorrow, Sunday I take my mom to the airport and then more family time Sunday afternoon. For once, I wish this week could be replayed, or at the very least I wish I could just press the pause button on time for a few more days.

I wish you all a Happy Weekend!

9 Comments

Filed under Brother rates his own category, I did something Special, I have Family, I have Friends, Kid Substitutes

July 8, 2009 · 11:47 pm

Her Troubles.

I paused in my swimming to ask the newcomer to the pool how she was doing. We have swum at the same time many times before and have a loose, friendly, fellow-swimmer relationship. But that night, her face crumpled and she replied, “Not well. Not well at all.”

She’s articulate and has an unnervingly accurate memory, these things I know about her.

I asked her why, and the story spilled out. She’s been at the same job for seventeen years. She loves what she does, is good at what she does. Last year, she took some time off to take care of her mom who was ill, and ultimately ended up passing away. I remember that, she was heartbroken then, too. Last September, after she returned to work, she transferred to another department in her company or they transferred “him” to hers, I’m not real clear on that part, but whatever transfer happened, “he” is not a good boss. He makes it his goal to undermine and devalue the people under him, and picks on someone in particular until that person either quits or transfers out. If that person tries to talk to him to set things right, he yells at them until they leave his office in tears and humiliated, everyone looking on and watching. These are the things I gathered from what she told me. Right now, she’s his target and has been since last September.

I felt so bad for her and mostly just listened, until she said she didn’t know what to do, that she’s making herself sick over it, can’t sleep, and she started to cry. The song and dance I know all too well. And that’s when I offered her some small thoughts I had — people like that, you can’t talk to them, you have to have a third-party come in and mediate. Or leave. She doesn’t want to leave.

The worst part of it for her, I think, is that her mom was her best friend. Her mom was who she could have and would have turned to at 3 AM when she couldn’t sleep. Her mom would have known just the right words to soothe her daughter’s heart. For the daughter, it’s the combination of the perfect words and the mother’s voice that makes you feel as if everything’s going to be OK. Everything will be alright enough to at least set things aside for a few hours while you sleep. It was a year ago that she lost her mom.

We both swam our laps for 30 minutes and then paddled back and forth talking for another 13 minutes. Since it was her conversation, I let her choose when she was done talking… she eventually did and thanked me for listening.

Sometimes that’s all people need… is someone to listen. It was the easiest thing in the world for me to do and all it took was just a little bit of my time. No matter where else I may fall short, I felt like that was something I could do.

I went home feeling at peace for having helped her a little bit. I also felt immensely grateful… I really do have a good boss and job. And I have a wonderful, living mom who arrived safely in the states yesterday and I will get to see on Friday.

For now, this moment in time, I’m good. Things could change tomorrow, but I’m optimistic enough that I’ll take this moment and be happy.

6 Comments

Filed under I feel Sad, I have Friends, Mermaid Envy

June 17, 2009 · 6:00 am

Taste Test Madness.

Soooo, in my quest to find those dratted dried plums (Yes, I’m still looking for them. Yes, I know I have issues.), I headed over to an Asian market not too far from my work location and visited their dessert aisle. There were some, shall we say, “interesting” things down that aisle, not all of which were items I would necessarily consider to be of the dessert variety, or even what I would consider to be a snack.

Despite their odd definition of desserts and snacks, dried plums they did have and in several variations. So I grabbed three bags containing different types of dried plums along with a few other items that looked promising and hauled my loot out of there and back to the office.

On the way back, I ripped open the bags and tried one of each item. A random taste test while driving — good clean fun. The law states we have to use headsets while driving and we can’t text while driving, but eating while driving is still fair game, as far as I know.

When I arrived safely back at work, I made the file clerk boy try each of the items. Then I took my bag of loot over and made the IT fellow (the one I tried to play a joke on a couple weeks ago) try them.

Here’s what was in the bag:

These things were absolutely delicious. Just the perfect amount of crisp, but melted in my mouth, with a touch of sticky sweet goodness. Delectable might just be a word that I would settle on as a description for these. The boys agreed.
In fact, I think you should go buy some of these, they were that good.

I’ve had these before, they’re like gummy candy… flavored litchee and muscat. One of the boys said the muscat candy tasted like he was chewing on a plant. Whatever — they tasted fine. Besides, he’s young and his taste buds clearly aren’t fully defined.
I think you should buy some of these, too.

Next up were the dried plums. First bag wasn’t too bad but, sadly, they really weren’t what I was seeking. Same with the second bag. The third bag was deceptive. The plums weren’t spit-it-out-or-I’m-gonna-die traumatic, in fact, they started out OK, but quickly became too salty. Ick. I gave the bag to the IT fellow (which is why there’s not a picture of it), and even he didn’t much care for them. Said they had a strange aftertaste, but he was OK with eating them. Which, interpreted to guy speak probably means, “I wouldn’t go out and buy them for myself, but since they’re here and free…”

The last thing in the bag were these things.

Now, in my defense, I’ve never had roasted chestnuts. But I’ve heard The Christmas Song, I’ve sung The Christmas Song, and it seemed appropriate that I should try the subject of The Christmas Song. Maybe freshly roasted chestnuts are different from these dog food smelling variety of chestnuts, I don’t know, but I couldn’t even finish one of them. The file clerk boy took a tiny bite and declared it disgusting. The IT fellow took one look at it and his hand went from being palm-up receptive, to pushing it away denied. He emphatically declared that he wouldn’t eat anything that looked like a little disgusting poop.
He was probably the wisest of the three of us in that decision.