In Memoriam.

The morning of April 1st I finally passed our baby.

I didn’t post about it then because it wasn’t a joke, nor was it funny. Although the irony of the date wasn’t lost on me.

Even more ironic than it being April Fools’ Day was the fact that, when we first found out I was pregnant and calculated the dates, innocently lost in the excitement of it all, April 1st was the day we considered telling our family and friends our news.

Yesterday, I received this special gift in the mail from Stacey (a family friend and reader of my blog). Thank you, Stacey, words cannot express how much this means to us.

It reads, “Little I knew that morning, God was going to call your name, in life we loved you dearly, in death we do the same. It broke our hearts to lose you, you did not go alone, for part of me went with you, the day God called you home. You left us beautiful memories, your love is still our guide, and though we cannot see you, you are always by our side. Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same, but as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again.”

We named our baby “Miracle.” It seemed appropriate.



Filed under Kid Quest

34 responses to “In Memoriam.

  1. Julie

    i’m going to cry…

    i’m so sorry…


  2. Cat

    Oh, I am just aching here reading this. However the words on the cross are beautiful and heart-felt. I know saying I am sorry isn’t enough. But I am.

    Shawn and I don’t want kids and we’re aren’t the hugest of fans of kids, but it destroys me when I know of people, GOOD people who want children and try and would be amazing parents and yet it’s taken away from them. Doesn’t seem fair and I am angry at the world on your behalf.

    I hope this works out in the future for the two of you and you’re in our thoughts this weekend (I was just telling Shawn about all of this yesterday in the car).


  3. stacey

    sniff.. i am so glad you got it. it meant so much to me when joe’s aunt gave it to us for our little lost one. i am glad it means a lot to you too.

    • It means more than I can even say. Thank you so much. I’ve found myself just staring at it sometimes. It’s a tangible memorial for someone who was too little to have a headstone.

  4. Angi

    I’m sitting here trying to figure out how to express what I’m feeling for you right now. All I can come up with, is I love you my friend,you and Tony are in my thoughts and prayers. Beautiful, beautiful name for your precious child.

  5. I am so sorry for your loss. Much love and hugs to you and Tony.

  6. How very beautiful. Miracle is a perfect name. I’ll make sure to remember the three of you during Easter Mass.

  7. Oh J, I am so, so sorry. *hugs*

  8. Caryl

    Your grandma, my mom, was born in 1910–100 years ago.
    The chain is linking as your Dad sees his first grandchild before I do.
    Love you,

    • I had momentarily forgotten that grandma was born in 1910. It sure doesn’t seem like she passed away 23 years ago. Is my math right in that? Has it been 23 years?
      Thank you for that… I… didn’t even think about daddy seeing Miracle. Wow.

  9. Oh Jammie, I am so very sorry. I am praying that God will comfort you as only He can. Some things in Life just aren’t fair. Healing hugs, Debra

    • You are so right, some things in life really aren’t fair and I wish sometimes those unfair things were just a bit easier to get through. Your healing hugs are much appreciated. Your compassion is much appreciated.

  10. My Dear Jammie…I am so very very sorry…I know you both feel this loss deeply. I send you Healing Hugs, my dear and much HOPE that the pain of this loss will lessen as time goes by. I know some people don’t understand how you could feel the loss of this baby so very very deepky…But many people DO understand and send you much love, my dear.

    So glad that the “APRIL” Photo was so appropriate for Easter and Spring. That is why I picked it….I LOVE LAVENDER!

    • I am so glad I chose to (and was able to) miscarry naturally, I just can’t imagine having to go through a medical procedure for something that is so personal and intimate. The emotional loss hurts, but I feel like it’s also a natural process as well, if that makes sense.

      I just love the calendar you gave us.

  11. You are sweet… Inside the land of my head, you are my nextdoor neighbor, too. πŸ™‚ Hugs, Debra

  12. {{{Jams and Tony}}}

    I’m so sorry

  13. Crying for you, Tony, and little Miracle. I’m so sorry. 😦

  14. tony

    I love you sweetie heart. XXOXOXXOXO

  15. Just checking in on you. I’m here if you need me…

  16. grrrace

    Oh, honey… I am so, so sorry… Love you.


  17. py

    Take heart, Miracle is a great blessing. He lives in our memories. May love keeps you going.