Big Bear Weekend

Despite a rough start yesterday, lots of traffic on the freeway as we drove up here and a tired child who didn’t sleep well the night before, we are managing to have a great Big Bear weekend.

When we arrived in town, they were decorating their Christmas tree!

To tell you how tired William was, I managed to get him down for an afternoon nap (first one in over a year), and his bedtime didn’t suffer for it last night.

Today, it was our usual mountain getaway routine; breakfast at our favorite place and a little bit of shopping in town and then back to the cabin.

Also, the snow that fell a week ago has stayed on the ground. That makes us all very happy!


Bonus? I found these today!!


– Jammie J. Mobile

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Letter to our 3 Year 11 Month Old

Dear William,

On November 8, 2015 you turned 47 months old. You are 44 1/2″ tall and weigh 47 pounds 12 ounces. You are wearing boys 6/7 in shirts. You are in Boys size 7 pajamas and 8 footed pajamas. You are in 5T pants and shorts. Your shoes are size 12/13 Wide.

FIRSTS:

THINGS WE DID/HIGHLIGHTS:
Weekly occurrences: KinderCirque class and Library

10/10 – Zoomars Halloween
10/20 – Dentist appointment (2nd)
10/24 – Dr. Werlin’s annual miracle baby reunion
10/24 – Spaghetti Dinner at Daddy’s church
10/25 – Great OC Park Spooktacular event
10/25 – CalElite Silks show (observing)
10/31 – Halloween
11/01 – Catalina Island
11/07 – Decorate for Thanksgiving

LANGUAGE/THINGS YOU SAY:

One night this past month, you had an attitude about something. I took a deep breath, walked away for a few seconds, came back and told you, “You can say, ‘thank you mommy for this, or mommy I’m sorry I hit you, or even mommy I need some space right now. Those are all acceptable things to tell me. What you did was wrong.” You got quiet for a minute, I waited, you looked down at your Froggy that you were weaving the corners of its hanky through your fingers, a long-time soothing behavior of yours. You looked up, with tears in your eyes, and quietly said, “Mommy, would you like a corner?” I sniffled, too, and said, “That will work, too, dude.”

One of your favorite things to tell me if I snap at you for waking up too early is, “Mommy, do you need an attitude adjustment?”

Another night, you were in your bath and you asked for cake, a small cupcake your father had made. I brought it. I pulled a bite of it up on a fork and you started crying. I asked you what was wrong… you said, “I don’t want cake!” I asked if you meant you wanted frosting, not cake. You continued crying. I closed my eyes for a moment, thinking how I could help you understand that I just wanted to help you. So, I intentionally showed on my face how sad I was, empathizing with you. I said, “Why don’t we wash you off and get you out of here so I can hold you?” You replied, “OK… I think I’m just getting tired.” I said, “Yeah, I think you’re definitely getting tired.” I admit that I’m very cautious of telling you you’re tired, because I remember as a child people telling me I was tired and, while it was certainly true, I remember it being infuriating because I felt like it minimized my feelings. Being tired amplifies feelings and small things seem bigger and bigger things seem even bigger, and someone minimizing big feelings makes the bigger things even more big!

Your Grandma D. texted me one day and said, “I told him that vitamin C helps fight a cold etc. He said he would just take medicine for that. So funny.”

One night, holding you on my lap before I flossed your teeth, you stuck your finger up one of your nostrils. I asked if you needed a tissue. You replied, “No. I’m feeling my voice in my nose while I’m singing.” And then you started singing, with your finger up your nose.

Your father and I were talking a about a ladder at my work. You spoke up and said, “We should watch a ladder.” Puzzled, I asked you, “Do you mean Aladdin?” You replied, “Yes, Aladdin.”

A text from Grandma D., “I asked William if he wanted to go on an adventure. He said, let’s go to Nebraska! I said that’s too far. so he says “Asia”?”

You like to get my hand weights from under the bed and lift them. They are 5 pounds each. So, you lift them and then exclaim, “Oh, this is heavy! I need to rest now, because this is hard work!”

When you have your iPod app time, you like to pull up the Thomas app and look at the paid ones. The first time you did it, you got upset that they didn’t work until I explained to you that they cost money. Now you pull them up and say, “I’m just looking at it!!”

We ordered a new automated, programmable feeder for the cats. It sat in the box for a couple days while your father read the manual. It really bothered you that it was still in the box, and anytime Tug (the cat) got near it, you told us, “Tug really wants to set up our new feeder!”

Your father texted me one Sunday morning, “William knelt in church at the candles and thanked God for grandma D. and parks and a whole list of things.”

Watching Frozen movie and your father and I were talking. You watched quietly, no complaints until the Let It Go song came on. Then you interrupted and said, “Excuse me, this is why I wanted to watch Frozen.”

One of the Halloween decorations we set up is an ugly grim reaper thing. It sits by our front door and your father calls it “Grandma’s Boyfriend” just to irritate her. Well, you mixed it up and called it Grandma’s “friend boy” the entire month of October.

Your Grandma D. texted me, “Kids at the park had buckets. Another had little tractors to play in the sand. All William had was a stick he picked up. He wanted sympathy. I said “Thank God he made the tree so you could have a stick.” He said, “No! say ‘Poor William.'” ha

We stopped and got a hot dog at Costco. I took a bite of a hot dog, You made an assumption and said, “Are you making them small for me so they’re just bite sizes now? Thank you!”

When we attended Dr. Werlin’s annual Halloween party reunion, you called it a street party. It is kind of a street party, but more of a parking lot party.

We got to your father’s church for an event one Saturday night and all the Catholic school kids were in the playground. You looked at them, confused, and said, “Why are they all in the park?” I think what you were really asking was, why are they in the park and I can’t be?

Your grandma D. texted, “William is looking at his ink stamp kit and Tug came over and wrapped himself around William. He really does enjoy William.”

You like to sing variations of songs, one of your variations goes, “You got a friend in me, when you get in trouble, you got a friend in me.”

One of stories you learned at library was a “scary” story about clothes in the closet and every part, the boots, pants, arms, go wiggle wiggle and turns out a cat was hiding in the clothes. It was hilarious to hear you retell it! After library storytime, you wore your costume and walked through the library in a “parade” and told people Happy Halloween. It was cute.

You told me one day when I was blocking your view of something, “Your dress is pretty, but it’s in my way.”

Some sage advice from you while driving around, “So there’s traffic… you have to honk your horn!”

Following the advice from our GPS, you reminded us, “Remember to turn left!”

When I drive you to Awanas, every week I cut through a portion of a parking lot to avoid a dangerous turn. And every single week when I do it, you holler, “Oh no! Are we lost??” Apparently your Grandma D. gets lost a lot!

For Halloween, Grandma worked with you on a cowboy song you learned at the cowboy craft. It was perfect with your Woody costume. Instead of saying trick-or-treat to people, you sang to the tune of “I’m a little teapot” … I’m a little cowboy here’s my hat, here are my boots, here are my chaps. When I get up I work all day, get on my horse and ride away. You made out like a bandit with the Halloween candy.

Watching a video clip, it stopped midway and you said, “Oh no, it’s not listening!”

You say “barry” for the word “borrow.” Example, “You may Barry my toy.”

When you go a little silly trying to get you into your pajamas sometimes, you’ll exclaim, “He’s a wild one tonight!”

You went on a community landscape walk with me and our landscaper found a caterpillar in the bark on a tree. He let you hold it. The next day I got a text from Grandma D., “William did the caterpillar to butterfly routine a hundred times this morn. So funny.”

I bought you some Child’s mint toothpaste as you had been using my baking soda mint toothpaste. After a couple days of using your new toothpaste, you told me, “I like my own candy cane toothpaste!”

One morning, you were out in the hallway and I could hear you talking. I asked you what you were doing and you whispered, “I don’t want to tell you!” Surprised, I told you that wouldn’t get in trouble for telling me. You perked up and said, “Oh, I’m messing with the bird…” I asked you to show me what you were doing to her and you happily demonstrated how you were swinging her cage. I helped you come up with an alternative “messing with the bird” that wouldn’t endanger her cage. But I had to laugh at your “secret keeping” skills.

Banging on the table one night, you admonished us, “Get up and march, because I’m playing the drums!”

STORIES YOU TOLD:
William whispers, “Sssshhhh, shhhh! Crawl in my mouth. It’s safe in here.”
In a hushed whisper I respond, “OK, but who are you?”
“I’m a lion. A toothless lion.” He replies.
“Who am I?” I ask curiously.
“You are an ant. So crawl in my mouth and be safe now.”

SLEEP:
You tell me, I don’t want to sleep, I’m afraid of bad dreams. I told you to tell the bad dreams to go away. In the name of Jesus, go away bad dreams. You said, because God is strong.

FOOD & NOURISHMENT:
Your Grandma’s report on your eating habits, “He wants honey sandwich for breakfast and peanut butter sandwich for lunch. i try to talk him into fruit or yogurt. We talk about protein to make his muscles strong and vitamins and how they help. He said today he doesn’t care about vitamins. So funny.”

Your grandma reported this month that now every time she takes you somewhere, even your KinderCirque class that you ask about a snack. She says, “I don’t know that he realizes it’s a class. The cowboy craft has him confused now.” I replied, “Between that and Awanas, now he thinks everything should have a snack… I kind of agree. Plus he has been very hungry lately.” Grandma replied, “I asked him what he liked best after the cowboy craft. “The snack!” was his answer.” It was quite the day… I tried to hide the 2nd marshmallow. Didn’t work. I hid some of the chocolate in the grandma cookies bag and it melted. I tried to pour some of the juice on the plants. He asked, “What are U doing grandma?” He had his eye on me!

When you came to my work for trick-or-treating, one of my co-workers didn’t have any candy for you, and after you finished singing your cowboy song, she felt bad. She tried to slip one of your candies out of your trick-or-treat bag and you watched her and said, “Uhhh, OK, well, I wanted new candy, not candy already in my hat.” After you visited another co-worker for a few minutes you said, “OK, now let’s go get some more candy somewhere else.” I gotta love your honesty!

NURSING:
You told me one day, “I like nah-nahs?” Surprised, I asked, “You do?” “Yes. They taste like cake. Strawberry and coffee.” Interestingly, since the time you could talk, you’ve told me that one side tastes like strawberry and the other side alternates between chocolate or coffee. One morning, we nursed as usual, except after a few seconds, you yelled… curious, I asked, “What’s wrong??” You replied, terribly upset, “I don’t want the coffee side, I want the strawberry side!” Also, the right side is always the strawberry side. Huh.

You were helping me put away laundry over the weekend. You got to the socks area in the basket. One by one you put them in the sock drawer with a commentary. “Black socks, cat socks, whale socks, flower socks…” A small pause as you lifted my bra, and a little smirk as you continued, “Nah-nah socks…”

FAVORITES THIS MONTH:

Color: “Red”
Song: “I love you so much, I love you so much!” I asked, “Is that your own song?” You replied, “Yeah, I like that song.”
Movie: “Frozen… Toy Story…”
Food: “Bacon”
Snack: “Melon Balls.”
Dessert: “Ice cream, with sundae on it.”
Fruit: “Apples”
Vegetable: “Carrots”
Class: “MyGym! The play MyGym now.”
Teacher: Grandma
Store: “Toys R Us”
Restaurant: “Chick Fil A
Vacation spot: “Nebraska” (pronounced Mabraska)
Toy: “Buzz Light”
Favorite theme park: “Disneyland”
Anything else? “Do you want to go to the palace and see the world? Do you trust me?”

THINGS I WANT TO REMEMBER:
How one night, we were watching a movie and I had told you that when it was done it was time to go upstairs for your bath. You acknowledged me and when the movie was done, you proclaimed as you usually do, “It’s done!!” Anticipating you freaking out, I said, “I’m going upstairs now to run your bath.” You replied, suddenly calm, “Oh, I’m listening to music right now.” As you watched the credits roll.

How I separated your Halloween candy and put the items I was OK with you having into a bag that is accessible to you to look at on the counter. One of the items is a bag of pretzels shaped like bats. You excitedly told me one day, “OK, so I want the bag of bats today for my treat.” I told you that was fine and told you it was pretzels. Aghast, you said, “That’s not candy!” I said, “No, it isn’t. Do you want to pick something else?” You chose a marshmallow with chocolate filling. Good choice!

SWIMMING:
The weather has cooled off, so I was only able to take you swimming once this past month. Of course you loved it and spent most of your time jumping off the side into the pool. You also were adamant about bringing along some mini squirt guns. You spent a lot of time underwater watching the bubbles go upwards as they refilled.

KINDERCIRQUE:
You are doing so well in this class. You are cooperative and listen! You are getting braver and stronger and you listen to Miss Robin. The last class you did particularly well and rode the trapeze swing up above Miss Robin! Miss Robin was SO impressed and she told you that you did an awesome job. High praise indeed! I ask you after every class if you want to continue in it and you emphatically say, “YES!”

GYMNASTICS:
You are still in a break from gymnastics. I had them put our account on hold until mid-November. We participated in their Open House event this past month and you were THRILLED to be back there, but still resistant to the red circle time.

OTHER ACTIVITIES:
I have recently found a place that offers basketball lessons to children your age, I will call them to find out if they offer a trial class.

BATH TIME PLAY:
You have been into your Toy Story bath toys this month.

~~~
You talk in your sleep now, you say things that I can’t catch. You curl up into yourself like a kitten in a warm bed and sleep. And I remember wishing that when you cried as a baby you would tell me things instead of crying… And now you do but I find myself missing the smaller you. I wondered when you would switch over the using language instead of crying out of sleep and whether I would notice. I didn’t notice when it happened, because for awhile it would switch back and forth… but now it’s consistent. You use your words most of the time now.

47 months old 2

47 months old

Love,

Mommy and Daddy

More pictures from this month can be found here: LINK

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The Post About Me & Sinuses and Teeth.

I vaguely remember a time that I didn’t have sinus issues. It was before that time I flew to Oklahoma when I was in my early-20’s with a bad head cold. Things were never the same for me after that. Chronic ear crackling; crackling every time I swallow and any sort of elevation change, and when we go up the mountain to Big Bear, my ears squeal at me as they try to adjust. It’s awful. Yet, I saw an ENT in my late 20’s and was told everything looked normal, probably just allergies.

So, I pursued allergy treatment and after feeling like a pin cushion for a couple months, I decided it was easier just to deal with it.

About 6 months ago, I had some pain in my upper right gums. Enough that I went and saw the dentist. He performed an x-ray and didn’t see anything amiss as far as my teeth went. He did notice that a crown wasn’t fitted properly and there was a small decay in the tooth next to it, but he said he was fine with watching it until next year when I suspect our dental insurance will change to better coverage, as long as I kept it really clean.

In August, I went and saw another ENT. His office performed a hearing test and then the ENT peered briefly in my ears with an otoscope and said I had some minor hearing loss, but since I wasn’t a judge and didn’t really need to hear every word someone said, I should just deal with it. He also recommended my son come in for a hearing test, because he felt he might be deaf, as well. Since I figured out he was a douchebag, just for fun, I asked him about preventative hearing protection for when I drive my convertible with the top down. He told me there was no need to do something like that, it wouldn’t impact my hearing at all. Oh really? Good thing I started wearing earplugs 10 years ago or so when I drive somewhere.

Three weeks ago, I had major pain in my upper right gums again. I waited a week and then went into the dentist’s office and instructed him to just do what needed to be done to the molars. He drilled the improperly fitted crown off, cleaned up in there (there was some decay under the crown), and fixed the cavity in the tooth next to it. I asked him about the swelling in my gums and he told me that looked like a maxillary sinus infection and that I needed to see an ENT.

So I pursued a referral to get a second opinion through my GP. Meanwhile, my gums were swelling larger, my face was swollen in response and I was in a ton of pain. When I got to see the 2nd ENT, I couldn’t even touch my face it hurt so bad — despite the Advil I was taking. After an actual exam (he looked in my nose and ears and checked my tonsils!!), he prescribed antibiotics and authorized a CT Scan.

Surprisingly, the diagnostic imaging place called me that night and fit me in the next day (last Friday). By the time I went in to see them, I had taken 3 antibiotic pills, and as I climbed into their scanning machine, my gums burst from the pressure. The relief was instant and the taste was utterly gross.

On Monday, the ENT’s office called and left me a voicemail telling me the authorization had come through and to be sure and schedule the CT Scan. I listened to the voice mail and rolled my eyes. Clearly, they had no idea how on top of things the diagnostic place was.

Yesterday, I went back to my dentist and while he was fitting my permanent crown, I told him my gross story about my gums blowing out from the infection. He took a look, went back and looked at his x-ray, and suggested that perhaps I go see an endodontist, just to be sure the roots were OK. Said if there is a problem, it’d be easier to get to now rather than down the road, because the crown is not on permanently and it would not be wise to put a brand new crown on just to potentially drill it off again in a month if there’s a problem. He further said that maxillary sinuses are the only sinuses that drain upwards, and he told me that blowing out the gums is an odd place for them to drain, they don’t usually have enough pressure to do that. He secured the crown with tempbond and sent me over right away.

The endodontist did x-rays and told me the tooth was dead. He tested it three times with liquid nitrogen (super fun!!). He showed me on the x-ray where an infection was still present and recommended doing a root canal immediately so that it didn’t infect the surrounding molars. I wish I could have had him take a picture of how he prepared my mouth for surgery; it was kind of amazing. He put sunglasses on my eyes and then he clamped something on the infected tooth and then spread a plastic cape to surround it so nothing landed in my mouth. The image I had in my mind as he worked was of a solitary tooth sitting on a picnic blanket. HA!

Turns out, one of the roots in the “dead” tooth was still half alive which made for an interesting drilling experience and many apologies on his behalf for causing me pain. It was my first root canal and I cried — such a bummer and all because of an ill-fitted crown. I cannot believe I’ve spent this much time chasing this problem and 4 1/2 hours in various dentist chairs yesterday.

On the upside, though, I finally got a CT scan, so I can’t wait to see what that shows as far as the sinus problems (probably nothing, but still). AND, one of the best discoveries of yesterday? Bite blocks. The endodontist used one while he performed the surgery and I didn’t want to give it up. I will be asking for bite blocks at all my future dentist appointments!

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Letter to our 3 Year 10 Month Old

Dear William,

On October 8, 2015 you turned 46 months old. You had a growth spurt this past month and grew an inch! You are now 44 1/2″ tall. You slimmed down a bit as you stretched taller and you weighed in at 45 pounds 10 ounces. Your clothes sizing is all over the place — 5T or boys 6 in shirts. You are in Boys size 6 pajamas. You are in 5T pants and shorts. Your shoes are size 12/13 Wide. This past month I’ve gone through your closet and removed all the 4T sizes that were still lingering… they are too small now.

FIRSTS:
Awana club!!

THINGS WE DID/HIGHLIGHTS:
9/16 – Awanas started (weekly)
9/20 – Zoomars
9/27 – Ryan’s house
10/2 – Mountain Cabin
10/9 – Giddy Up Cowboy Craft day
10/10 – Zoomars Halloween visit w/ Grandma & Grandpa H.
10/11 – Irvine Park & Daddy’s basketball

Grandma D. ensures that you get lots of park & playground time.
Grandma D. also takes you to the library to read books.

LANGUAGE/THINGS YOU SAY:

As we start homeschooling you, the curriculum I’ve chosen includes a lot of books from the library. I go online and reserve them, then you and Grandma D. go to the library and pick them up. Grandma D. finds a shady spot in the parking lot, and then you two read these books together. She says she finds that confining you in your car seat minimizes distractions! One day, you had read a Peter Rabbit book, I’m guessing a full story version, not a condensed version. It apparently differed greatly from what you had been reading and seeing on the DVD, because you informed me that, “Mr. ____ put something in the bag and that’s not how the story goes so we just need to erase that part.”

Last night we went swimming at our community pool. About 45 minutes into the swim, William crawled out of the pool using the ladder in the deep end. I thought he was going to walk back over the stairs, or maybe jump in from the side. instead, he pulled his swim shorts off and said, “I’m done.” Uh, yeah, hey buddy. How about a little warning before you drop trow?And… post-pool, trow dropping, Weinerschnitzel-poolside picnic flop over.

You put your Cars tracks together and then said, “This is cabbage, really long cabbage. Do you want to eat it?”

You love the cup we bought you at the Circus and you take it upon yourself to refill it with water from the refrigerator spout every chance you get, even if it’s not empty. Then you explain to us that it’s not water, it’s just tea.

The tractor tipping imaginary running continues in the car when we play that song, and recently with Grandma D. along, you encouraged her to “Run with your legs too, grandma!”

At lunch for your Grandma H.’s birthday, we were talking and you said, “Don’t look up, don’t look up, just keep looking at your dinner.” When I asked what you were going to do, you replied, “Because I’m going to stand up on my chair and reach to the top of the picture and see what’s up there! So just keep looking at your dinner!”

One evening, a siren went blasting by us. You immediately perked up and said, “Uh oh mommy! I heard a woowooeooo!”

Ordering dinner one night, you told the waitress, “I want a hamburger and I want an egg on my hamburger. Between the buns, on my burger.” When she left, you asked, “Will she put my egg on my burger like I asked?” I assured you she would, and she did, and that was exactly what you wanted and you ate it.

Your father and I were talking about gas prices and mentioned how diesel prices were going down after several years of diesel prices being high. From the back seat, you said, “What about Thomas? Is Thomas too expensive?”

How one day you were adamant about wanting to paint, “Please, mommy, please?” I said, “OK, well you go potty and I will get the paints out while you go pee.” You hopped up and with a happy smile on your face said, “Oh, I love to go potty!”

We had been pretending to eat various things. You picked up Froggy and said, “No, no, no, no! You can’t eat him that’s my son!”

Reading a book one day, you pointed at a bird in the book and told me, “I will give food to this bird so he’s not hungry!”

One day, heading to the pool, you were unusually quiet as I towed you in your wagon. You laid your head down on your kickboard. Curious, I asked you what you were thinking about. You quietly said, “I was thinking about Nebraska…”

At the park, with Grandma D., you stood on a big rock like it was a podium and made a speech, waving a stick in the air for emphasis. After a few minutes, Grandma D. whispered to you to say, “Thanks for your attention!” So you repeated it, three adults all turned around and smiled at you.

At Awana one night, they let you manipulate Playdoh. The assignment was to make something God made. You started with a footprint, then turned it into a burrito, then a taco, then an egg, and finally a potato. After awhile you exclaimed, “This is hard work!”

With Grandma D. on a short hike, you walked down the path ahead of Grandma D. with a long stick in each hand. “Where are you going?” Grandma asked. “I’m looking for a badger,” you replied very matter of factly.

Grandma D. shared that one of the days at the library, you got to pull the rope that hoisted the flags up!

I had been using GPS to help me find some place, and when we arrived, you said, “We’re done, lady!”

Driving home with a pumpkin you had picked from Grandpa and Grandma’s house, you were holding them and told me, “The pumpkin is knocking me out of my seat!”

STORIES YOU TOLD:
“Once upon a time there was a lion in the jungle, and the oil was very slippery! I’ll throw a shoe at the lion and he’ll fall and fall.”

Another story you told me one morning, “I found the bird up in the sky. I fixed the bird, but don’t get in the truck, that’s what you have to be careful of. And…. I don’t want snakes and lizards in heaven.”

Another story you told me one night, “Grandma hurt her hand with the bird today. The bird bit her and made her bleed!”

One morning, your father had gone downstairs and when he came back up, he locked the gate at the top of the stairs. You woke and wanted to go downstairs to pet Tug. When you discovered the gate was locked, you were very upset and went into the bathroom and opened the shower door and said to your father, “Now, Daddy that’s not nice, you locked the gate. So what you do, is you don’t lock the gate!”

You really dislike it when we have to leave for work in the morning and various stories erupt out of you. One morning you told me, “I’m going to cut down your work.” I replied and told you, “but my work pays for our home and our food!” You replied and said, “I don’t want a bed. I don’t want a bedroom. I don’t want food. I just want you.”

Another day, you told me, “I’m going to knock down your work and take all the people away and then you’ll stay home with me all day.” You paused and said to yourself,” But then we won’t have a home to live in, food to eat or a place to sleep… I guess I just have to go to work with you!”

You have started talking as if you’re writing a book these days. You’ll finish a sentence and then say, “he said.” So, it sounds like, “I would like my vitamin now, he said.”

One morning, you woke up terribly upset and when I asked if you were OK, you told me, “I don’t like that animal. They were a baby animal, and I couldn’t stop him.” Ahhh, dreams.

Another morning, you told me, “Call me a parrot dinosaur because I’m all different colors!”

When we went to Big Bear this month, we experienced a rain storm! Driving around in it, you said, “This is a Big Bear car wash.” Also, we drove through the town of Deer Lick and you said, “This is Deer Lick!”

You told us, “Movies on weekend nights are OK, but not on school nights!”

I called my mom one day and overheard you in the background saying, “Don’t drop your phone in the toilet, grandma, you’ll have to get a new one.” I quickly got off the phone!

One day you were negotiating for play time and said, “I can play for this much, see my fingers?”

In the bathtub, you had a bucket with water in it and your paint brush. You told me, “I’m painting with water, and now I’m tired. I will take a break.”

SLEEP:
We have had an uncommonly hot summer, combined with my refusal to run the A/C has resulted in regular night wakings or an early morning. At least that’s what I’m attributing it to. Most of the time, I can nurse you back to sleep and then I just stay in your bed and snuggle you.

One night you were so tired, you told me you didn’t even want me to sing to you. All you wanted was nah-nahs. Another night, you told me you didn’t even want to take a bath, you just wanted to nurse and go to bed. It sounds like you’re finally recognizing and vocalizing when you know you’re tired. This is progress!

One morning you went back to sleep, I had asked you if you were ready to start the day and you told me no. Another day you told me you were ready to start the day and then you started snoring.

FOOD & NOURISHMENT:
You are still eating enormous amounts of food and then claiming you’re still hungry. In fact, many mornings when you wake up you will drink an entire cup of water and then beg to go downstairs and eat. I think I’m going to start keeping bananas upstairs for you, because one morning you woke at 4:30 AM and were insistent you were hungry… and I don’t know, but if you had eaten something, might have been able to go back to sleep.

You have changed your preference for sundaes at Weinerschnitzel from hot fudge to caramel.

NURSING:
We continue our nursing relationship. I consider it a blessing, as do you. A couple of times you have told me you don’t want to nurse to sleep, and I tell you that’s OK, we can snuggle or you can go to sleep by yourself. You tell me you want to go to sleep by yourself, so I kiss you goodnight and leave the room. The moment I cross the threshold you cry out and I return and ask you what’s wrong, you tell me you want to nurse. I say, “OK, that’s fine… can I ask what you meant when you said you didn’t want to nurse?” You tell me, “I just wanted to see if you would leave.” I tell you that you can nurse or not nurse, it is entirely your choice.

Often times, at night, you will nurse the left side for a very short period of time and request to switch sides. I asked you one night why that is. You replied, pointing, “This side is the sleepy nah-nah, so I nurse it when I’m ready to go to sleep.”

When we went up to the mountains this past month, one of the waitresses was showing us videos of her two daughters. She explained that her oldest had been in her belly when you had been in mine. You asked her, “Do you still give her nah-nahs or are you all dried out?” She leaned over and asked me what nah-nahs are, and you replied, “Milk, mommy’s milk. So, do you still give her milk or are you dried out?” She replied that she was all dry. You then replied, “MY mommy gives me milk. She’s not dried out.” Several other customers laughed and one lady even said, “Good for you, I love it!”

One morning, you told me you just wanted to keep switching sides, all day long.

 FAVORITES THIS MONTH:

Color: “Red”
Song: “Jesus on the cross”
Movie: “Wall.E.”
Food: “Beef”
Snack: “Honey sandwiches”
Dessert: “Cinnamon roll bars”
Fruit: “Apples”
Vegetable: “Carrots”
Class: “The Work MyGym class at Cal Elite, the one where I climb the curtains”
Teacher: “The lady who teaches the Work MyGym class at Cal Elite”
Store: “Sprouts”
Restaurant: “Rubios”
Vacation spot: “Nebraska” (pronounced Mabraska)
Toy: “Buzz and Woody”
Favorite park: “Awesome Park” (Baker Ranch park)
Favorite theme park: “Uhhh, Disneyland”

THINGS I WANT TO REMEMBER:
How when I get home at the end of the day, we sit on the couch together. You say, “Let’s talk about what we did today!” And then I say, “What did YOU do today?” You say, “I went to work, typed on the computer and then came home to see you!” And then you say, “What did YOU do today, mommy?” I’m supposed to reply with what you did, like “I went to the library and made a hat and then went to the park and read books with grandma and then came home to see you.” If I deviate from this script, I get corrected by you.

How when a movie is finished and credits start rolling, you kind of freak out, “IT’S DONE!! TURN IT OFF!”

How you got in your cozy coupe one evening (a toy I thought you had forgotten about) and said, “I’m sorry, I can’t stay. I’m going to work because I’m starving!”

At Walmart one day, we were leaving the bakery section and all of a sudden you shouted, “We need pumpkin muffins!!”  Your father said, “Oh, they don’t have pumpkin muffins…” We both turned around and sure enough, there were the mini pumpkin muffins.  You remembered the packaging from last year, you remembered what they were and that you liked them.  You had the biggest smile on your face when we put a box in the cart!

SWIMMING:
You love swimming with us in our community pool and are so brave and confident! You love to jump in from the side of the pool, and love it even more if either me or your father jump with you! We have done a lot of swimming this past month.

DANCING:
You are still struggling with this class. In an effort to coerce your participation this past month, I let you pick which teacher you want… and that worked for a couple times. Then it was back to the “regular” attitude of you laying on the floor or standing in the corner (your choice) and watching the class, and participating in the “fun” segments. So, I have decided to discontinue this class for now and enrolled you in an aerial acrobatic class. You have been fascinated by aerial acrobatics for a long while now, and when I asked you whether you wanted to take this class, you responded with a big “YES!!” You were a bit overwhelmed with the first class and definitely were not bored. The teacher said you did well overall.

GYMNASTICS:
You are still in a break from gymnastics. I had them put our account on hold until mid-November. We participated in their Open House event this past month and you were THRILLED to be back there, but still resistant to the red circle time.

OTHER ACTIVITIES:
I have recently found a place that offers basketball lessons to children your age, I will call them to find out if they offer a trial class.

BATH TIME PLAY:
Bath time one night, you said, “OK, so we need to play a game called bird poop.” You grabbed the foaming bath soap and pumped it in your bath tub and said, “That’s the bird poop game.”

You told me you’re done with the Ghostlight story and now just want to play the yellow engine falling into the sea and getting cleaned up at the Steamworks.

~~~
I’ve been looking at pictures of you when you were less than a year old, and I cannot believe that the little baby I held then is no more. You are all boy now. I never say anything to you about my mother’s heart mourning that loss, but maybe you sense it, I don’t know. You started crying one day and when I asked what was wrong, you told me that you were crying because you no longer a baby and weren’t cute anymore.

One of my favorite things in the whole world, and it’s what gets me through the days of working during the week, is lying down with you in the morning while we nurse. You are boneless and warm and so very cuddly. I never know how the cuddling and nursing will go, it’s new every day. Sometimes you ask if you can start the day. One morning you asked if I could open your shutters so we could watch the sunrise together. Sometimes you nurse your fill and fall back to sleep. I lay there and hold you and feel the tiny movements of your body as you sleep and dream and it takes me back to those last months that I was pregnant with you and I could feel you move the same, except you were inside my belly. It’s those memories I hold on to when I head out the door, sit in traffic all to go to work. Time goes so fast, and I wouldn’t trade these moments for anything in the world.

46 months old

Love,

Mommy and Daddy

More pictures from this month can be found here: LINK

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Story of Two Mountains.

Last night, Tony was excited. We had scheduled a day off this weekend to decorate for Halloween. Blow ups! Fog machines! Big scary spiders and webs! Yard stakes (made from election stakes they stuck in our yard a few years ago ha)! He even made the grave error of saying, “Tomorrow we can sleep in!” I gave him the side eye, because with an almost 4 year old in the house, there is no such thing as sleeping in. Sure, the child would love to sleep in on weekdays, but weekends? Nope. He is up at the butt crack of dawn.

As would happen, 5:33 AM I wake up. The house is silent. I have no idea what woke me up. So I rearrange my pillow, lay back down and pretend to myself that I’m sleeping. Tony’s wisdom from years ago echoes in my mind, “Even if you’re awake, if you’re resting it’s kind of like sleeping.” So, I laid there.

6:42 AM, “Mommy? Mommy?” I get up and go to William. “Mommy? Can you lie down with me?” I do.

He’s quiet for a few minutes, I listen to him breathing and feel his heart beating. It’s a peaceful moment, but my mind has been awake for over an hour by now, and the thoughts of a mother run through my head. Remembering how when I was pregnant with him, toward the end of the pregnancy he used to practice breathing and I’d watch my belly move up and down where his lungs were, and how I would listen to his heart with a doppler every day just to make sure he was OK. And I feel inordinately blessed that he loves to snuggle, and I wonder how long he will want me to snuggle him.

His mind was apparently working, too, because he says, “I’m going to tell you the story of two mountains now.”

“OK. I’m listening,” I encouraged him.

“Once upon a time there were two mountains. The first mountain is called Big Bear Mountain and at the top of it is a cabin,” he continues.

“That sounds nice.” I observed.

“In the cabin is movies that you watch.” He pauses, collecting his thoughts, then says, “The other mountain is a SCARY mountain. At the top of that mountain is a scary magician!”

“A scary magician? That sounds frightening!” I grasp William tightly.

“Hey! it’s OK, it’s OK! The scary magician put dried corn in the oven and he made popcorn! He’s not scary anymore! And that’s it. Let’s go see what daddy’s doing.”

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Awana Club, 2nd week

After last week’s post, I thought I should post an update about how the second week went. I’m not sure what happened behind the scenes this past week, but things were much different and more organized this week.

To start, they did introductions and roll call. Then the teachers did a puppet show with the characters that were in the student’s pamphlet.

Then they were assigned a craft and were given a tiny tub of Playdoh, to “make something that God created.” William started with a footprint, then it morphed into a burrito, then bacon, then a taco, then an egg, finally a potato, then back into an egg. At least that’s what William said, and then in the middle of it all, he exclaimed, “Phew! This is hard work!”


Then they did a Bible story, although I’m not really certain which Bible story it was, but the verse they concluded with was 1 John 4:10, sort of> It was more like a partial verse, “God loved us and sent his son…” and that was also their memorization assignment for last week. Not too hard, considering that some of these kids (William included) can quote entire scenes of movies and complete stanzas of songs. A seven word Bible verse is definitely doable.

After that, they had snack time… and William volunteered to say the prayer! I was impressed! So, snacks last night? Cheddar Penguin crackers and chewy fruit snacks. I wasn’t overly thrilled with that, but ended up being grateful. Why? Because I had spied several bags of Fritos in the lead teacher’s equipment bin, so that momentary fear that I was going to have a child whose breath smelled like dog feet changed my perspective!

Then they had play time in the tots playground. William wanted to go into the playground for bigger kids, but the instructor told him he couldn’t, the gate was locked. He peered through and said, “Well, there’s a gap in the fence, so you just open up the gate and I’ll go around, then.” He didn’t get to, but I have to admire his problem solving skills.

The one thing I’m not happy about is that when the Cubbies arrive, they are supposed to be taken directly to the room. They don’t get to play on the playground before hand and they don’t get to participate in the opening flag ceremony or Pledge of Allegiances. I was informed that it was a mistake that they were included last week. I asked the pastor why that was, and he said he didn’t know. I emailed them about it this morning.

Personally, I think it shows a stand of unity as a greater group. It also allows the little ones to see that there are older groups (Sparks, etc.) to aspire to as they grow older and they shouldn’t be isolated just because they’re little. I believe that they are never too young to learn the pledge of allegiances. And, finally, it’s a nice routine to start the evening.

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Awana Club

Last night was William’s first Awana Club meeting. Awana Club was something that my brother and I did when we were kids, we pretty much grew up in Awana Clubs, attending every week, and earned our trophies. I loved the meetings… the games, playing with other kids, even the Bible memorization. It was just so much fun. I hope William ends up liking it as much as I did.

My mom, being experienced in teaching, mentioned to me that as it was the first night it might be a little disorganized. I was glad later that she had mentioned that, because it helped prepare me for the state of disaster that it actually turned out to be. To start, the room was locked. It then progressed to the leader trying to give parents an orientation while 10 kids (ages 3-4) sat at a table with nothing to do. When that didn’t work, the leader gave them their book bags to paint, except the paint markers still had the plastic wrapping on AND the internal stopper. Confusion reigned, and most of the kids had paint all over their hands, so they had to wash them (10 little kids to one tiny sink). They finally went out to the tot playground while the leader “prepared” a snack of half a hot dog/bun and Cheetos (of all things, really?), but she didn’t have plates, cups or a knife to cut things in half. Then the kids had to come in from the playground (but line up first!) and wash their hands again (10 little kids to one tiny sink). And that was it. As William pointed out when we got to the car, “We didn’t get to hear a Bible verse or read a Bible story… or play a game.” Yeah. Kind of the foundation for the whole thing, that Bible verse.

When I saw the issues they were having, I tried to help where I could and quietly made suggestions to the leader, but I felt like it wasn’t enough. So much of the stuff actually needed far more advance planning, i think. Maybe even making one of the crafts ahead of time to troubleshoot problems and then to use as an example for the kids. Awana Club is such a great resource; I pray that next week, and the weeks to come improve.

The quote of the night from William. After he’d finished painting his bag and declaring repeatedly and emphatically, “I’m done!” one of the helpers took his bag. He watched her with great concern, and seeing his concern, she explained to him, “I’m taking this outside for some air.” He replied, “Well, there’s air in here. That’s how you’re breathing.”

Yeah, air, kind of one of the most important parts of breathing.

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Letter to our 3 Year 9 Month Old

Dear William,

On September 9, 2015 you turned 45 months old. You are 43 1/2″ tall and weigh 46 pounds, 10 ounces. You are wearing 5T or boys Small in shirts. You are in 5T two-piece pajamas; I don’t know what you are in footed pajamas since it’s summertime, so probably boys Small would be my guess. You are in 5T pants and shorts. Your shoes are size 12/13 (Crocs).

FIRSTS:
You rode the Atlantis roller coaster at Sea World for the first time! Also, the Shipwreck ride, which drenched us.

THINGS WE DID/HIGHLIGHTS:
08/15/15 – Orange County Fair
08/16/15 – daddy’s birthday party
08/23/15 – ocean
08/24/15 – LegoLand
08/30/15 – Laguna Hills mall
09/07/15 – Sea World, including Dinner with Shamu

Grandma D. ensures that you get lots of park & playground time.
Grandma D. also takes you to the library to read books.

–Your favorite ride at the county fair was the Kite Ride, your father called it the Superman ride, but you corrected him and told him it was the Buzz Lightyear ride. Then you told him, “I wish you could go with me, daddy!”

–At the end of your father’s birthday party, you did the cutest little “boo hoo” I’ve ever heard. Not crying, just saying boo hoo to express your sadness at the end of the day. You had played hard all day and it was hot. I guess you are one of those who, if you get overheated, you throw up… while driving home, you expressed that you were hungry. I offered you water, which you drank, and then food when we got home.  When I got you home, I set you on the counter to dig some food out of the fridge and you puked all over me and the floor. I felt so bad for you. But, I made you some toast and it settled your tummy.

LANGUAGE/THINGS YOU SAY:
You have been stuttering this past month. The other day, you were trying to get your thoughts out, and you stuttered and stuttered and finally stopped, took a big breath and said, “He is having trouble talking right now.”

You told us one day that you were ready to do the Racers ride at Disneyland again, that you weren’t scared of it anymore. This was news to me, especially since you saying that was not prefaced by anything but you remembering it. I guess we’ll see how you feel when we go in December this year.

You told a waitress at Denny’s that you wanted to go to Snow Land. When she asked you where Snow Land was, you told her it was in Big Bear and that it was there now. Never mind that it was 90° out at the moment.

After we go to the ocean, we always stop at Sonic for a milk shake. It is just one of those things we do. You usually get a chocolate shake, but this month you asked instead for a “hot sarge shake.”

SLEEP:
You have been restless at night and waking up early, or middle of the night. We think it’s related to the awful heat wave we’ve been having, but who knows, really? We just can’t seem to get comfortable at night these days. To be honest, sometimes I get the best sleep when I just lay down with you. At least then I know you’re OK and am not listening for you. There’s another thing in play for me, too, one of our cats yowls at 5 AM and, thinking it’s you,  I’ve gotten up and gone into your room, only to find that you are deeply sleeping.  But then I have a tough time going back to sleep, because I’m convinced it was you that I heard, even though I know it wasn’t.

You say the funniest things when you’re mostly asleep. Like one night, you told me, “This is a good toy to play with. It’s easy to put together for putting away!” Another night, you declared, “OK, mommy, I’m awake.” Two seconds later, I heard a little snore escape your mouth.

FOOD & NOURISHMENT:
You have been eating enormous amounts of food and then claiming you’re hungry even still! One night, you ate a full dinner, then a half hour later in the bath tub, you said, “I’m very hungry and if I don’t eat I will wake up hungry tonight and I’ll even be hungry in the morning!!” You then proceeded to eat a banana, leftover pancakes, and a homemade yogurt popsicle.

You woke one night and I told you it was still sleeping time. You went back to sleep and a few hours later you woke up and exclaimed, “You were wrong, mommy, it is morning time!” Like no time had passed at all.

After dinner one night, you were excited to go to Walmart for a cookie. We got our cookie and you then said, “We need to go outside to eat it on a bench somewhere.”

From dinner we had leftover salmon, I told you to have it for lunch the next day and also told Grandma D about it so it wouldn’t be forgotten. Grandma D. told me she had a salmon sandwich for her lunch, so that was perfect. The next night I asked you about the salmon. You said it was good! I asked you if you had more salmon than Grandma. You said “No, mine was tiny. Grandma had a lot more salmon than me.” All I can say is Grandma must have had a whole lotta salmon, because you had two fillets in your leftover container!

NURSING:
You have started to tell me, “I’m so hungry! Only nah-nahs can help me feel less hungry!” You seek me out for nursing when you need comfort, or want to go back to sleep. My favorite nursing is the weekend morning nursings… I think they’re your favorites, too. You will ask, “Is this a short nursing or long nursing?” I feel forever blessed that we have this dimension to our relationship.


FAVORITES THIS MONTH:

Color: silver
Song: Buzz
Movie: Spirit (Disney movie, Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron); Also, Wall.E.
Food: Grilled cheese sandwich
Snack: Melon balls
Dessert: caramel sundae from Weinerschnitzel
Fruit: Grapes
Vegetable: carrots
Class: MyGym
Teacher: Miss Nicole
Store: Walmart
Restaurant: Outback Steakhouse
Vacation spot: Nebraska
Toy: Toy Story toys
Favorite theme park: Sea World

THINGS I WANT TO REMEMBER:
How I was chewing some gum while waiting in line at Sea World. I picked you up and you stuck your nose in my mouth. Surprised, I asked what you were doing. You promptly replied, with your nose still stuck in my mouth, “I’m smelling your gum.” Like, duh, gum smelling is a normal activity!

How it just seems as if more and more things are imprinting on your brain. For example, we were eating asparagus for dinner one night. You held it up and told us “asparagus grows and grows and then goes to flower and then makes a plant again!”

How you are still reliving your visit to the vet with us from August (a month ago). We took Snuggy in for a dewclaw problem. In the waiting area were two dogs. One of them cowered under the bench with his owner and he had been bitten on the face by another dog at the dog park. The other dog, a golden retriever, had an injury to his front leg. You pretend that you are either taking a pet to the vet, or that you ARE the vet, or that you are one of the injured dogs.

This past month, my laptop’s hard drive crashed. It’s been in the making for awhile. We were without a computer for about a week, and then your father booted up one of his laptops and put it where mine had been. The next morning, you came downstairs, saw it there and said, “Yay! Mommy’s computer is fixed!”

Your father was chair dancing one night at a restaurant. I teased you that he was sitting on the toilet. Aghast, you peered under the table, looked at him, and then looked back up at me and said, “You’re wrong, mommy. Daddy’s not sitting on the toilet!”

How sometimes if you’re playing hard or you’ve been doing something for awhile, you’ll get up, walk over to another chair and say, “I think I need to take a break!” This is an important milestone, I think, that you know your limitations and when you need to stop and regroup!

How you are so into character playing and imaginary stuff, you put one of your Hot Wheels loops around your neck like a necklace and said, “Look at my new outfit!”

When you sat down to eat lunch, you exclaimed, “Oh, I’m so full of love, I can’t eat anything!”

Your Grandma D. sent me a text saying this: “I read Stinklebritches a book about bats. He asked if they bite you. I said only if you poke your fingers at them, like the bird will. He has been jumping off the couch saying he’s a bat with noises, too! He asked offhandedly if bats go poopy. When I said yes, he dropped his shorts and ran for the bathroom. I thought he was just asking for knowledge, guess it was permission. Wonder what he would have done if I had said bats don’t poop?”

After dinner one night at Red Robin, you were outside running around on a sidewalk loop. A few other older boys came up and joined you. One of them hopped off the sidewalk into the wood chips that surrounded a dried up shrub (drought landscaping). You looked at him and said, “Hey! You shouldn’t be in the landscaping!” They turned it into a game, and it was cute to see you, so small compared to these bigger kids, but they were engaging you in play.

Every time we go into a public restroom that has a child’s seat hanging on the wall, you sit in that seat and declare, “I’m Santa!” and then you point behind you where there’s nothing and say, “And these are my toys.”

Your father was cleaning off the kitchen counter, you started taking the dishes out of the sink and stacking them on the drying mat. You thought they were clean, but your father didn’t understand why you were doing that, because he was trying to put them in the dish washer. I explained to him that Grandma D. hand washes dishes.

You have been learning things about Star Wars this past month. I call it brain imprinting, because you pick stuff up so rapidly. You drew something on your drawing book and declared, “This is the Lemon Falcon from Star Wars. Lemon Falcon has places to go! Do you want to go see the world with me?”

How, when you’re watching a movie, you like to hold the DVD case for the movie and look at the pictures on it while you watch the movie.

When I was taking a shower one morning, you sat outside the shower doors and sniffed your way through my lotion bottles. You’ve liked to do this for over a year now. I emptied a bottle and dropped it over the shower door and it landed near you. Without missing a beat, you said, “Oh! Thank you!” I peered out and you were putting it in the trash can.

We stopped at the pet store one evening to walk around, and you informed us that you will be getting another kitty, and two doggies, and continued, “Then I’m going to put them on top of each other and I am going to feed them.” Interested, your father asked, “How are you going to buy them food?” You replied readily, “With my money, and maybe grandma will give me some money, too.”

How when we were at Sea World, we were at the “instrument” area in the play park, you were asking all the newcomers to play you a song you hadn’t heard before. A dad came up and told his daughter it was time to go. She told him she wasn’t done. He grabbed her by the arm and dragged her away, she wrestling against him with all her might to no avail. You walked halfway over, I thought you were going to play the xylophone, instead you said to the dad, “Hey, hey! What are you doing to her?? That’s not very nice!!!”  All I could think was, out of the mouths of babes…when you asked me about it, I told you that I thought her daddy maybe had to go poopy or something!  Sure seemed like had something stuck up his butt!

SWIMMING:
You love swimming with us in our community pool and are so brave and confident! We have done a lot of swimming this past month.

DANCING:
You are struggling with this class. I know it’s not your favorite, and perhaps the “unlimited” part of the enrollment the last two months has used up your tolerance for the class. We have placed you back in the Miss Nicole’s class, however, your first class back with her was her last class. She said she was leaving to spend more time with her kids. We don’t know who will take over that time slot now.

GYMNASTICS:
You are taking a break from gymnastics for awhile. You were doing really well with the athletic part of it, but you loathe red circle time and so we pulled you out of it because your attitude was disrupting the class. We think there may be some unresolved issues from the prior owner leaving and you not getting to tell him goodbye, because that was when your behavior started to decline. Mr. Steve (the former owner) had worked really hard to build a bond of trust with you, we think he may have been your first best friend “teacher.”  And then, poof, he was gone!  I reached out to him and he has said he will meet up with us for a play date later this month so you can see that he is still around, just not around at MyGym.

BATH TIME PLAY:
You have worked through your fear of the drain issues. I’ve started a game where your toys bump each other off the bath tub ledge and while you don’t like that they are floating in the water, you think the game is hilarious. You also like to make up variations of the Ghostlight story (from Cars movie).

We’ve been implementing water saving measures this past month and one night in the bath tub you took a tiny bottle and filled it up with water and then told me, “I’m saving this water. I will put it in my dump truck and then water the plants with it.”

I suspect that, as you get older, your father and I will have more and more of these “mind blown” moments and I look forward to them. It seems like your brain just absorbs things so quickly. Even when we’re not sure you’re even listening, a couple hours later (usually when you’re trying to fall asleep at night), you will start talking about things that happened or that you heard during the day. I know it’s your way of processing things and making sense of them — i do the same thing — and I am grateful that you are able to share your thoughts with me.

One of the nights this week, we were walking around after dinner. You walked up to a lamp post, tipped your head back and wondered aloud, “I wonder if I can climb this pole?” I replied, “If you want to, you can learn how to climb any pole.” You eyed me for a second and then said, “Not tonight, mommy.”

I hope, more than anything, that if you see something you want to do in life, that you will want to learn how.

45 months old

Love,

Mommy and Daddy

More pictures from this month can be found here: LINK

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The Other Side of Real.

I am tired today. I’ve been tired all week, really, but today, the tired is overwhelming. The reasons all relate to a little boy who, for various reasons, is waking in the middle of the night and crying out for comfort, for love. He needs extra in those wee hours of the morning. More than what we give him during the day. It is exhausting for me to be awakened out of my sleep cycles; I struggle hard with getting back to sleep.

Right now, I should be doing this, or that, or the other thing. But I don’t feel like it. So I turn to the internet instead, to hide, to avoid, to read about other people’s joys and their struggles, too, and to write here. I’ve learned over the years that I am not alone. Never alone. There is a world of people out there who struggle with similar things. It’s reassuring.

I did not have the patience for problems this morning, like I should have. I wielded words in an email unkindly. Accurate, yes. Unkind, yes. I could have been nicer. I wasn’t. I didn’t want to be. I’m tired of people being stupid, and I’m tired of people not communicating properly. It’s frustrating. I’m tired.

William has a class he doesn’t like. He tolerates it on a good day, but today he sat down at the door. A little lump of obstinate human boy. He didn’t want to participate. His grandma told him he had to, I told him he had to. He wasn’t rude (progress?), he just didn’t want to do it. He told his teacher he was tired… and when my mom told me that, it rang a bell in my head.

Every time that he has acted out or not acted appropriately, it’s been on a Friday. It appears that he is just like his parents, and maybe the rest of us… Fridays, well, we’re just kind of done.

Here’s hoping for a better week next week. And I’ll give a thought to being kinder then, too. But not today. Today? People need to stop being stupid.

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Sweetness.

The last few weeks, we have had a rough spell with William. His behavior was just very… difficult, for him, for us (his parents) and for his grandma. It *seemed* he was battling us on nearly every single thing. Through the counsel of a very dear friend, she helped me “hear” what he was saying, and we made some adjustments.

Yesterday, we took him to LegoLand and, unbeknownst to me, my former grade school teacher was there with her grandkids. I received an email from her this morning, and I can’t tell you how much it means to me on the heels of such a difficult month.

“My dear girl! My husband and I took two of our grandkids to Legoland today and I had a wonderful time observing you and your sweet family playing in the water. I didn’t want to disturb you so I just loved watching your family interact. Your little guy is adorable. Your husband is very sweet with him. I loved all the selfies you guys were taking. No, I’m not a creeper, I just wanted you to know that I think you’re special.~Love, Mrs. ***”

Some behaviors are phases, other behaviors are children using their actions to tell us something that they may not have the words for, or they may not even know themselves what the problem is, even as they get older. I mean, there are times as an adult when I have trouble discerning the root problem in my own issues. Suffice it to say, William is like a different kid this week. Sometimes, behavior is the only “communication” that children CAN give us.

I’m grateful for having such a wise friend. I’m grateful for having such a wonderful husband. I’m grateful for kind words from a former teacher. Now… if she had just come up to say hello, it might have evened out the score a bit from all the people who know Tony and not me.

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