Jammie J's Quest

July 8, 2009 · 11:47 pm

Her Troubles.

I paused in my swimming to ask the newcomer to the pool how she was doing. We have swum at the same time many times before and have a loose, friendly, fellow-swimmer relationship. But that night, her face crumpled and she replied, “Not well. Not well at all.”

She’s articulate and has an unnervingly accurate memory, these things I know about her.

I asked her why, and the story spilled out. She’s been at the same job for seventeen years. She loves what she does, is good at what she does. Last year, she took some time off to take care of her mom who was ill, and ultimately ended up passing away. I remember that, she was heartbroken then, too. Last September, after she returned to work, she transferred to another department in her company or they transferred “him” to hers, I’m not real clear on that part, but whatever transfer happened, “he” is not a good boss. He makes it his goal to undermine and devalue the people under him, and picks on someone in particular until that person either quits or transfers out. If that person tries to talk to him to set things right, he yells at them until they leave his office in tears and humiliated, everyone looking on and watching. These are the things I gathered from what she told me. Right now, she’s his target and has been since last September.

I felt so bad for her and mostly just listened, until she said she didn’t know what to do, that she’s making herself sick over it, can’t sleep, and she started to cry. The song and dance I know all too well. And that’s when I offered her some small thoughts I had — people like that, you can’t talk to them, you have to have a third-party come in and mediate. Or leave. She doesn’t want to leave.

The worst part of it for her, I think, is that her mom was her best friend. Her mom was who she could have and would have turned to at 3 AM when she couldn’t sleep. Her mom would have known just the right words to soothe her daughter’s heart. For the daughter, it’s the combination of the perfect words and the mother’s voice that makes you feel as if everything’s going to be OK. Everything will be alright enough to at least set things aside for a few hours while you sleep. It was a year ago that she lost her mom.

We both swam our laps for 30 minutes and then paddled back and forth talking for another 13 minutes. Since it was her conversation, I let her choose when she was done talking… she eventually did and thanked me for listening.

Sometimes that’s all people need… is someone to listen. It was the easiest thing in the world for me to do and all it took was just a little bit of my time. No matter where else I may fall short, I felt like that was something I could do.

I went home feeling at peace for having helped her a little bit. I also felt immensely grateful… I really do have a good boss and job. And I have a wonderful, living mom who arrived safely in the states yesterday and I will get to see on Friday.

For now, this moment in time, I’m good. Things could change tomorrow, but I’m optimistic enough that I’ll take this moment and be happy.

6 Comments

Filed under I feel Sad, I have Friends, Mermaid Envy

July 7, 2009 · 11:01 pm

Love & Loathe — 07-07-09

Love:

*Wasabi peas.

*Rice snack mix… I knew it was gonna be good when the cashier checked me out and muttered under her breath, “Oh, this is good.” Like my purchase just reminded her exactly how good it was and on her next break she probably bought her own bag.

* Search engine results. I’m gonna have to do another post on it. June’s were hairlairious!

* The views from the new office. Also, that my car is parked in the shade all day, no more sun aging and no more stupid window flyers. (I’m trying, here, folks!)

* I am so, so, sooo glad that I didnt’t have to go to Los Angeles for any reason today.

Loathe:

* The work week before vacation.

* Commuting in traffic on freeways. Why are they called freeways when you’re clearly NOT free to move.

One Last Thing:
I was thinking recently, as I bought a huge 18 pack of toilet paper at Target for cheap, how there used to be various colors of TP available for purchase. Anyone else remember toilet paper in blue or pink? It’s been a few years, I guess, and it just quietly stopped showing up in the stores, so I hardly even noticed. I remember someone saying a few years ago that they never buy dyed toilet paper because of where it’s used…

I suppose, if it were really important to me, I could probably buy it somewhere on the Internet… but, well, why spend extra money for something you’re just going to flush down the drain?

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Filed under Love/Loathe

July 5, 2009 · 3:41 pm

This and That.

Right now, I have the dishwasher running, the laundry going, cleaned out the cat litter boxes, juiced a bunch of lemons for juice freezing, and I just finished making Guava/Passion/Orange homemade popsicles.

My swims this weekend have been peaceful and at 45 minutes each, feel like accomplishments. In addition, the pool is now being heated to 85 degrees. I know this because when I swim in the early morning hours, the pool thermostat reads 84 and the heat is kicking on. I was told the pools in our community would only be heated to 75 this summer. I’m sure not going to ask about it, I’m just going to count it as a blessing.

Particularly since we invited the Steve/Marigold/Huck/Milo Show over for the 4th of July, with enticements of a swim in the pool, since it’s so warm — 1st time for Milo. Oh my, it was good to see them and I enjoyed observing Milo’s analytical approach to the whole pool thing — he stared it down, not even splashing until he’d been in there for at least 15 minutes. At that point, he started making noises and pointing at pool toys — like, “Hey you, bring me that so I can drop it to the bottom again!” And THEN, finally, the smiles, the hard earned smiles came forth from Milo when his brother’s silliness became too irresistible. This is really their mom’s story to tell, I suppose, but it was just so good to see them! You can’t be focused on serious grown-up stuff when the littles are around.

When they went home (the kiddies were tired), we went down the street to see the fireworks over the lake. Every year they do this show, but this was the first time we’ve attended. It was kind of a spontaneous thing, staying home, because normally we head over to a city where we can legally set off our personal fireworks (I think the plan is to save what we bought on Thursday and didn’t use for New Year’s). The fireworks show here at home was a fun experience and quite a production for such a small town event. I climbed a low slung tree for seating and viewing comfort as lots of people turned out for it, even double parking along the street!

I hate that my husband has had to work this weekend, particularly in this heat. It’s been hot, nearing 100 in the shade. Exactly the type of weather one would expect for the 4th of July weekend. But he works outside on the weekend, on asphalt and dirt — doubly hot. Please keep my man in your prayers and/or thoughts. I don’t know how he manages to keep going sometimes…

Click here for update on work situation. (Password Required)

Hair Update — Week 7, no shampoo.

I think I pretty much have this thing figured out. I only use the Baking Soda Rinse (BSR) every 2 to 3 days now. I use the Apple Cider Vinegar rinse (ACV) every day.

I adjusted my ACV recipe a bit this past week. It’s now as follows:

1/4 c ACV (reduced from 1/3 c from last week)
1/2 c aloe vera (increased from 1/3 c from last week)
10″ sprig of rosemary (no adjustment)
In 1 QT bottle with tap water (no adjustment)

I’m just playing with the mixture to maximize moisture. Chlorine is very drying, ACV acts as a clarifier — which removes chlorine, but also moisture… at least that’s what it seems to be doing to my hair. Thus the increase in aloe vera and decrease in ACV. I used Scalpicin once this week, due to my scalp feeling inflamed. My hormones have been a bit more dramatic in their changing this cycle, and the inflammation coincided with that, so I think that was probably the problem.

Ohhh, I keep meaning to mention that I’m now only using baking soda to cleanse my face. I keep a container of dry baking soda by my sink. When I wash my face, I rinse my face, then pull some baking soda out and make a paste of it. It’s very effective at removing makeup and is gritty enough to exfoliate dry skin and cleanse pores. I’m on week 3 of that, so things may change as hormones change… we’ll see.

Taken today, natural lighting (no flash).

This week is work, of course, but it’s another 4-day work week for me since we’re taking Friday off to go to San Francisco next week. My mom will meet us there and we’ll go to Alcatraz at Night, and then Alcatraz Morning Garden Tour. Probably some other stuff, too.

7 Comments

Filed under Hair Can Be a Topic of Conversation, I did something Special, I have Family, Mermaid Envy

July 4, 2009 · 2:48 pm

Happy 4th!

It’s been a quiet weekend so far for me, perfect weather in these parts, spending time with the pets and doing chores. The only thing not perfect has been the absence of Tony, since he’s been working at his second job. Even on a holiday, yes. I’ll see him when he comes home today, hopefully around 3:30.

I’m thinking some iced tea would be good right about now…

Just wanted to hop on and wish all my American readers a Happy Independence Day.

5 Comments

Filed under Entertainment can be Cheap

June 30, 2009 · 10:43 pm

Love & Loathe – 06/30/09

Love:

* Arugula. When I lived in Fallbrook and had a yard big enough for a for reals garden, I used to grow the stuff and couldn’t wait until it had sprouted tall enough to eat. Now I have to buy it at the store, but I love it no less than I did before. I could happily eat plates and plates of it.

* Listening to pastor David Jeremiah in the mornings when I get ready for work. I get our little bird and we go to church together. Although she’s a little sassy, because she chirps back at him sometimes.

* Ending the day by crawling into bed with my husband. Sweet, sweet solace.

Loathe:

* Bills. They’re like housework. You finish them one week and the next week you’ve got more. Everybody wants money. In fact, I need to pay some of those right now.

* Being distracted by stress. So distracted that I have no idea where my Amex card went. I don’t remember using it to get gas last Friday, but I have the receipt, so I know I did. Called them, canceled it and requested a replacement card. GAH! Or, example #2, I did a fish tank change but forgot to refill my water recycle tank. *shakes head*

One Last Thing:

This plant actually belongs inside the fish tank, but I pulled it out about a month ago to clean it and then decided to see how the fish did without it because it’s a collector of tank debris.

The thing it’s sitting on is a cover Tony built to give a false top to the fish tank to keep the cats off the top of the tank. I tell you that because…

A couple weeks ago one of the cats had barfed on the couch. Yes, on the couch. Disgusting I know, particularly when you consider the irony of the fact that 95% of our home is floored with wood or tile, but the cats like to barf on porous surfaces, apparently, not wipeable surfaces. So anyway, one of the cats barfed on the couch and in that barf were pieces of that plastic plant. Which begs the question of which cat was it and how did it get up on top of that tank?

10 Comments

Filed under Good for your Poopy, Love/Loathe

June 28, 2009 · 10:31 pm

Not Cool.

The weekend was one of mixed emotions. Happiness that I was able to spend time with a friend of mine celebrating her marriage at her delayed wedding reception on Saturday. Casual beach party, complete with a BBQ and bonfire, as well as a rousing, competitive, unscored game of volleyball… which I managed to wrench my toe while playing, but I saved the ball! My poor toe! I’m not sure if it’s sprained, fractured or broken. I tried to get an x-ray this morning, but after waiting an hour and being told there were still two people ahead of me, I left because I had things to do.

Such as attend Grace’s daughter’s 3rd birthday party today. She turned 3 on Friday, can you believe it’s been three years ago already that Mia was born? I sure can’t. Tony’d had a rough morning at his work this morning and was really looking forward to seeing Grace and her family, as was I. So it was well worth it to leave a crummy doctor’s office to see friends.

Those were the highlights.

The rest of the post is behind a password protection. If you don’t remember the password or if you’ve not ever received it, please do let me know.

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Filed under Entertainment can be Cheap, I did something Special, Money Hump Building

June 25, 2009 · 11:00 pm

Protected: Shrugging it Off.

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Filed under I feel Sad, Money Hump Building, Protected

June 23, 2009 · 11:47 am

Protected: Love & Loathe — 06/23/09

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Filed under Entertainment can be Cheap, Love/Loathe, Money Hump Building, Protected

June 21, 2009 · 11:00 pm

Hairy Fathers.

The Father Part

First of all, if you’re a dad — Happy Father’s Day. I hope you know how blessed you are.

If you have a father’s heart but don’t have a child, I also wish you a Happy Father’s Day because I’m sure you find ways to nurture and love other living creatures in your life.

***

Hair Update — Week 5, No Shampoo

I’m still working on perfecting my mixtures.

My “shampoo”, the baking soda rinse (BSR), is great. I still use 1/2 cup BS in a 1 QT bottle of tap water. No changes required.

My “conditioner”, the Apple Cider Vinegar (ACV) rinse, has taken some work. The current recipe is as follows:

1/3 c ACV
1/4 c Aloe Vera
2 five inch stalks of rosemary
1 QT bottle w/ tap water

Last week in my ACV rinse, I only used 4 tbsp of Aloe Vera, and that didn’t provide nearly enough moisture against the constant chlorine exposure my hair gets, which is why I upped the amount. I may increase it even more when I mix the next batch. Surprisingly, rosemary is the scent that I smell in my hair throughout the day, not the ACV.

I tried alternating the sulfate free conditioner every other cleaning, but for whatever reason, it throws off the texture of my hair and makes it feel oily and icky. I tried a different brand today and it seems much better right now… but then again, I think Sunday are my “perfect” hair day of the week.

Tonight my hair even withstood successfully the damage that a just turned one-year-old little boy can inflict. I’m really not confident that it would have done very well 5 weeks ago!

If you followed along on my Twitter updates (<——over there), you'd be in the know that we had Dinner with Shamu at Sea World San Diego on Saturday night (good food, OK show, much prefer the breakfast to the dinner) and a most enjoyable day with family today.

I hope your weekend was just as enjoyable?

17 Comments

Filed under Entertainment can be Expensive, Hair Can Be a Topic of Conversation, I did something Special, I have Family

June 17, 2009 · 6:00 am

Taste Test Madness.

Soooo, in my quest to find those dratted dried plums (Yes, I’m still looking for them. Yes, I know I have issues.), I headed over to an Asian market not too far from my work location and visited their dessert aisle. There were some, shall we say, “interesting” things down that aisle, not all of which were items I would necessarily consider to be of the dessert variety, or even what I would consider to be a snack.

Despite their odd definition of desserts and snacks, dried plums they did have and in several variations. So I grabbed three bags containing different types of dried plums along with a few other items that looked promising and hauled my loot out of there and back to the office.

On the way back, I ripped open the bags and tried one of each item. A random taste test while driving — good clean fun. The law states we have to use headsets while driving and we can’t text while driving, but eating while driving is still fair game, as far as I know.

When I arrived safely back at work, I made the file clerk boy try each of the items. Then I took my bag of loot over and made the IT fellow (the one I tried to play a joke on a couple weeks ago) try them.

Here’s what was in the bag:

These things were absolutely delicious. Just the perfect amount of crisp, but melted in my mouth, with a touch of sticky sweet goodness. Delectable might just be a word that I would settle on as a description for these. The boys agreed.
In fact, I think you should go buy some of these, they were that good.

I’ve had these before, they’re like gummy candy… flavored litchee and muscat. One of the boys said the muscat candy tasted like he was chewing on a plant. Whatever — they tasted fine. Besides, he’s young and his taste buds clearly aren’t fully defined.
I think you should buy some of these, too.

Next up were the dried plums. First bag wasn’t too bad but, sadly, they really weren’t what I was seeking. Same with the second bag. The third bag was deceptive. The plums weren’t spit-it-out-or-I’m-gonna-die traumatic, in fact, they started out OK, but quickly became too salty. Ick. I gave the bag to the IT fellow (which is why there’s not a picture of it), and even he didn’t much care for them. Said they had a strange aftertaste, but he was OK with eating them. Which, interpreted to guy speak probably means, “I wouldn’t go out and buy them for myself, but since they’re here and free…”

The last thing in the bag were these things.

Now, in my defense, I’ve never had roasted chestnuts. But I’ve heard The Christmas Song, I’ve sung The Christmas Song, and it seemed appropriate that I should try the subject of The Christmas Song. Maybe freshly roasted chestnuts are different from these dog food smelling variety of chestnuts, I don’t know, but I couldn’t even finish one of them. The file clerk boy took a tiny bite and declared it disgusting. The IT fellow took one look at it and his hand went from being palm-up receptive, to pushing it away denied. He emphatically declared that he wouldn’t eat anything that looked like a little disgusting poop.
He was probably the wisest of the three of us in that decision.