Category Archives: Our Kid is Cute

November 23, 2012 · 11:36 pm

Letter to our 11.5 month old.

This week on 11/22/2012, you turned 50 weeks or 11.49 months old.

Over the weekend, since we were traveling last Monday, we attended a makeup music class on Saturday morning. Because of my work schedule, I usually show up for the last 20 minutes of these classes and this was the first time I was able to attend one of your classes from the start, and I was left in awe of your teacher. She is incredibly talented, energetic and actually makes the class fun for the adults, too. Plus, I was envious of the facility where this class was held, in the recreation center for a community whose outdoor pool is still heated… in November! If you know me, you know I’m all about outdoor swimming pools!

That afternoon we headed to Downtown Disney to meet up with some longtime family friends for dinner, since they are unable to make your birthday party next month. It was a true joy to see them and catch up, and I was so glad that we were able to make it happen. Afterward, you and I went into Disneyland to have our picture taken in front of the big Christmas tree… this is something I hope to make an annual tradition.

Grocery shopping with you has become quite the entertainment. Ever since you made the connection in your brain and you now know that we are buying food, you stare longingly at anything we put in the cart and if you get your hands on it, in your mouth it goes. I thought the banana last month was funny (embarrassingly so), but then the next week you tongued an ice cream box, and this week you wanted to bite into a raw onion. I swear, people are gonna think we starve you!

You are weighing in at 28 pounds. Clothing sizing is the same, 18 month and some 24 months. New words you’re saying this week: “Wow!” Your Grandma D. says that came about after library story time, one of the books emphasized that word. You demonstrate that you have an understanding of a lot of things we say and you are quite the little repeater. Sometimes you’ll be protesting your diaper change and I’ll interrupt your complaining with a great big “Waaawaawah!” You’ll look at me and repeat my mournful sound. The other thing I’ll say is “Stop!” You respond by looking at me and saying, “Pop?” ha

New developments: Climbing! There’s a toy that has been in your play yard all this time and someone thought it a good idea to bring it into the living room. Toy rotation, I think they call this. The problem is that it’s the perfect height of a step and you discovered this and now use it as a step ladder and push it around to various things you want to reach. When I discovered you doing that, a couple days went by and I put it back in your play yard. It’s perfect for a newly sitting baby, but not so much for a baby who’s working on walking. I’m thinking that toy is going to be one of the first ones rotated out after your birthday.

On 11/21, your sixth tooth emerged through your gums, your bottom right lateral incisor. Clapping! You clapped your hands for the first time after your music class last Saturday! Blowing! You blow out with your mouth… you’ve been “hissing” for awhile now, but the blowing is new, just in time for your birthday cake? You intentionally blew out your nose and then inhaled, copying me one morning, now we just need to expand that skill to blow into a tissue. A few weeks ago, during bath time, I started sliding your bath toys off the duck tub’s head into your bath with you, and now every time you get in the tub you look expectantly at the toys sitting on the ledge of the bath tub. Your Grandma D. says that when she heats your milk during the day, you mimic her swirling the milk by moving your arm in a swirling motion. Ripping things up! You love to rip things up: magazines, newspapers, aluminum foil and paper coasters. You figured out how to turn on your father’s projector with the remote control. You also figured out how to pull your father’s laptop off the desk and onto the floor, that didn’t end well for the computer.

New Food(s) this week: Beets. You recognize the word “banana” and have for awhile, what I didn’t realize and your father did, is that you will come crawling from across the room if asked if you want one. Unfortunately, banana sounds much like your word for nursing and so you make the milk sign for it while saying “nananannaaa.”

Things I want to remember about you this week? How you reach for me in the mornings and make the milk sign desperately while saying “NAAAANAAAAA”. How when you’re nursing and waiting for a letdown, you impatiently sign “milk” with your hand, and when the letdown happens, you stop signing and start moaning. How when you’re done nursing one breast, you’ll pull off and wave at it and say “Bye, bye!” How one middle of the night nursing you pulled off in the middle of nursing and, concerned, I waited to see what you would do… you blew, and then latched back on and continued nursing. How when I wanted to bake the gingerbread dough this week that I made last year when you were a newborn, I pulled out my cookie cutters and let you play with one of the boxes while I used the other one. You examined each cookie cutter intently, one at a time, and then decided it would be a good idea to upend the thing and spread them across the kitchen floor.

How when you sleep at night, no matter how I lay you in your crib you always end up on your tummy and work your way to the end nearest the sound machine. How when you’re concentrating on something, you have your mouth wide open.

In the mornings, our routine is that once you wake I nurse you and then give you a couple minutes on the floor in your room with your Book Nook while I prep your diaper by double stuffing it. I pick you up and we look in your closet to determine what you will wear, you grab hold of the Mickey Mouse Medellion. Then I change you and dress you and we exit your room and go find your father. One morning this week I told you, as usual, “Let’s go find daddy!” Except your father was still in the shower and instead of going in there, I was planning to hold you a bit longer. You started to cry and wiggle, so I let you down thinking you wanted to play. The second you got to the floor, you hustled yourself into the master bedroom, around the corner and pushed open the bathroom door, and started banging on the shower door. You were going to say good morning to your daddy, regardless of where he was!

Every day that goes by, you become more of your own person, with your own personality and your own preferences. Parents who’ve gone down this road before me used to say stuff like, “It’s so fun to watch them discover things.” I understood what they were saying, of course, but to watch it in motion, watching it happen before my very own eyes and know that the things I say and the things I do are a crucial part of your development, it’s an awesome and somewhat scary thing. Much like when you were a newborn and I found you watching my every move in the mirror when I changed your diaper and I started smiling nonstop, now I find myself evaluating the things I say and the facial expressions I use around you. You are an awesome kid and I don’t want anything I do to change that.

Love you forever,
Momma

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Filed under Letter to William, Our Kid is Cute

November 22, 2012 · 1:51 pm

Happy Thanksgiving!

There are so many things to be thankful for this day. Every day really, but today especially when thankfulness is the topic of the day.

I’m thankful for those of you who still read here. I’m thankful for those of you who still comment. If you read here and don’t comment, I really wish you would. Authors of blogs love comments and I’m no exception!

I’m thankful for my husband who really is one of the most amazing men I’ve ever met. Not a day goes by that there isn’t something new that I appreciate about him. I really need to be better about telling him. He does so much around here and does it without fanfare.

I’m thankful for my mom who cares for William during the day. It is so special that she is able to have a relationship with him and that I can trust that he’s being well-loved and well-tended while we go to work.

Topping my list is the miracle that is our William. There are moments that I still can’t believe he’s here. There are also moments that I still can’t believe he’s ours.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

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Filed under Best Husband, I have Family, Our Kid is Cute, We Love to Decorate

November 8, 2012 · 4:31 pm

Letter to our 11 month old

Dear William,

This week on 11/08/11, you turn 48 weeks or 11 months old.

Despite all my fretting and worrying about the time change this past weekend, it wasn’t an issue at all. You ended up taking a 2 hour 20 minute afternoon nap that day, and then I kept you up 1.5 hours past your bedtime. You were soooo happy about staying up — you love partying with your parents! You spent an inordinate amount of time opening and closing a kitchen cabinet, and then shredding a piece of aluminum foil that you found in that cabinet. You industriously got into the top drawer of my desk and pulled out my bendy ruler and then sat down and happily played with that for awhile. Basically, you got into everything you shouldn’t (or you thought you shouldn’t). Once in bed, you slept deeply and, remarkably, you slept until 6:30am (adjusted time) the next morning, which is your normal wake time… and you’ve been doing that all week now.

One of the pipes connecting to our water heater sprung a leak last week, the morning of my birthday, in fact. My first thought? How are we going to wash your diapers?? Thankfully our neighbors washed them for us that night, which really is going above and beyond being a friendly neighbor, but what can I say? We’re surrounded by amazing people! The next challenge was your bath water… so heated that on the stove and carried the warmed water upstairs to pour in your bathtub. Your father diligently tried to fix the water heater for three days, but to no avail. The water that poured down over it must have ruined the thermostat, so I ended up purchasing a new one, and your father installed it. It seems kind of sad that one paragraph can sum up what was a huge hiccup in our life and routine, but it can.

You attended your first story time at the library this week. Your Grandma D. said you did well and enjoyed watching the big kids. They read the “Quiet/Loud” book, one of the books you’re familiar with. Also, some finger puppets stories and used the shakers. You loved the shakers, you use those in your weekly music class. Then afterward, rolling up the rug the kids sat on and playing with the dirty flag stand were highlights for you. I guess Mondays are going to be busy days for you — library story time AND your music class!

Developments: You are weighing in at 27 pounds 10 ounces this week. Clothing sizes, still the same. 18 month sizes, but we’re buying you 24 month sizes. Diaper strategy — same as last week.

You wave consistently, sometimes it happens a little late… like after we’ve said our goodbyes and are around the corner you remember that you’re supposed to wave goodbye, but you do get your wave out there, and you wave and wave and wave and accompany it with “Bye bye bye bye bye bye bye!” You say, “HIIIIIIIIIIIII!” to me when I get home from work. Open mouthed kisses, oh my gosh, I love these. It feels like you’re going to eat my nose or my cheek or my chin when you do them, but any kiss you’re willing to dole out, I’ll take it! When I ask you in the morning , “Do you see your neighborhood?” You will turn and look out the window. And when asked, “Do you see your flag?” You adjust your eyes downward to where the flag hangs. Before I pull you out of your crib for nursing, I ask you “Where’s Froggy? Can you get Froggy?” You reach down and grab your Froggy Lovey. You say “Uh oh” BEFORE you drop something on purpose and AFTER if you dropped something accidentally, all while leaning over to watch it fall or see where it landed. You say, “Naaa naaa,” with a smile and a bit of desperation, for nursing, and will point at the nursing pillow. You say “cat” and hiss when you see a cat. When you see a bird in the sky, you say “Ahhhhh ahhhhhhh” in a high-pitched voice, sounding much like a very happy crow cawing (we have lots of crows around us). You say “pop” for popsicle, which is your afternoon treat. You are >>>thisclose<<< to taking your first unsupported step. I have a ridiculous number of videos of you standing there, looking like you’re going to do it, and then you plop down and take off crawling. Then the dilemma, do I delete it because you didn’t take a step or keep it because it’s YOU?

Food:
Butternut squash, is still a no go.

You love peas, kidney beans, persimmons, bananas (of course), apple, pears, chicken, and turkey. The banana oatmeal bars I make for you continue to be a highlight of your day. Cheerios continue to be a choice addiction. Last week it was the funniest thing, I gave you a half of banana and went to work in the kitchen cleaning a bowl. I looked at you a minute later and you were sitting there in your high chair with a grin on your face and the banana nowhere in sight. A little exasperated, I checked the floor, your legs, your bib pocket… and finally came to the conclusion that you had, in fact, EATEN the banana in its entirety… not even leaving any on your face or hands! Which is why I find it amusing that one or two of our cats are always circling below your high chair while you eat. As if you would deign to share you precious food with them? ha ha Right.

One of the nights this week, you pulled yourself up and pointed at an apple, which was right near the bananas, which is your favorite. Surprised, I asked if you wanted an apple, you pointed at it again. So I gave it to you, and you sat down on the floor and started eating it just like, well, like it was an apple and like you were an adult.

You have started to sort your food… broccoli, green beans you set aside for later. Colorless food, bananas or turkey, for example, you will eat first. Popsicles take priority over anything else.
You love to drink water from a straw, and since you’ve been a bit unpredictable with your morning bottle, I thought we might try cold breastmilk in a straw cup. You were interested but more fascinated by the fact that your fingertip fit in the tip of the straw. I’m thinking maybe a “real” straw instead of the rubber straw might be in order.

Things I want to remember about you this week: The way you suck on your hand or forearm when we lay you on the changing table. How you cry when we lay you on the changing table if you’ve pooped in your diaper… I have NO idea why you do this, but I can always tell just by your reaction if you have pooped. When I offer to nurse, you smile and softly say “Naaa naaa.” When I cover your eyes and ask you “Guess who?” you laugh and laugh and laugh. The way you crawl into the midst of all the children at your music class to claim your instrument when it’s freestyle time. How anything and everything is an instrument to you — you pat the toilet lid, an empty box, lids to pans, even your legs — all as if they’re a drum. How loud you are when you’re nursing or eating food, proclaiming loudly to all within 25 feet your enjoyment of your nourishment.

A few years ago, my sister-in-law shared with me how she and her husband were somewhat nervous when they first learned they were expecting their first child, it can be a bit intimidating. But then she said she realized that it would be OK, because you grow with your children. And so it was this morning that I woke at 5:30am to escape a bad dream, one where I woke with tears rolling down my face. I dreamt that someone had kidnapped you and no one could find you, and I kept asking everyone if they had heard anything, anything at all,and no one could answer my question the way I wanted them to. I felt so bereft and lost. I checked the video monitor and you were there, where you were supposed to be, sleeping peacefully on your side, your arms extended in front of you and your hands clutched together as if in prayer, Froggy in the midst of it all. You were OK. When we drive over speed bumps, and you’re in the car, your father and I both say “BOINGY, BOINGY!!” simply because it makes you smile. I asked your father the other day if he hears in his head the “BOINGY BOINGY” even if you’re not in the car. He smiled at me and replied, “Yes, but that’s because I still say it… to the empty car.” Which is to say that somehow what my sister-in-law shared with me years ago has now become a reality… we have grown with you, and you have filled our lives with such joy, even to the point that we entertain you even when you’re somewhere else.

Happy 11 months, my lovebug… and now, I have one month left to try to wrap my head around the fact that next month you will be one year old.

Love, Momma

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Filed under Letter to William, Our Kid is Cute, Sometimes I Dream

November 2, 2012 · 1:06 pm

Letter to our 10.8 month old

Dear William,

This week on November 1, 2012, you turned 47 weeks or 10.8 months old. I took the day off from work as a floating holiday because November 1st is my birthday. I debated doing my fantasy of leaving for work in the morning as usual, calling in sick and going to a hotel room for sleep. But I decided instead to spend the day with the most amazing miracle in my life — you — and we went to Disneyland. Highlights of our day were: Breakfast at the little cafe on Main Street, going through the Haunted Mansion, and hanging out with Jack Skellington and Sally Ragdoll.

This past weekend you had your first haircut. We took you to Cool Cuts 4 Kids and it was the best place ever. Their waiting room had fun cars for you to play with and a TV for you to watch. The stylist chair you sat in was a cool red fire truck/car with a steering wheel and bell on the hood. When the stylist touched your head for the first time, you gave her the once over and then let her proceed without any further protest. She was amazingly fast and really good with you. Mostly, you were sharing how cool the experience by verbalizing with well placed melodic “ooohhh!” and “aaahhhh!” Until she used the electric clippers, those scared you a little bit. My mom asked me the next day if I had cried, and I honestly told her no. The thing is, when you were born your hair was already over your ears, so basically you came out of the womb needing a haircut. Mostly, I felt relief to have finally gotten it done! What had been holding me back from doing it was that I wanted to find a place that made it special without charging a bunch of money.

We attended Dr. Werlin’s annual Halloween themed miracle baby reunion last Saturday. He truly is one of a kind — he remembers every single one of his thousands of patients and greets them in the same unique way he always greeted us when we were undergoing treatment. I don’t know what most doctors do, but I honestly don’t think very many of them host an annual Halloween party and then stand in a tent for 3 hours so that all of his former patients and their miracle children can get a picture with him. It was great to see him and we also met my friend there who I referred to Dr. Werlin, and the result of their treatment with Dr. Werlin: 6 month old twin boys. I dressed you as a leprechaun, and you were the cutest little leprechaun I’ve ever seen!

You are weighing in at 27 pounds 3 ounces this week. Also, you got your 5th tooth, your lower left lateral incisor, on 10/30/2012. Wearing 18 month sizes, some 24 months. You continue to practice standing on your own (without support) for longer & longer periods of time. You have linked “uh oh” with something going wrong, and will now intentionally drop things and say “UH OH!” You have also linked that adults will get up if you are touching something you shouldn’t, so now you reach for something and then look at one of us to see if we’re getting up.

First foods this week: Cheerios — no one told me these are baby crack. Your father gave you some on Saturday afternoon and couldn’t get them to you fast enough, and when you would finish one, you would lean forward and peer around him, looking to make sure the next one was on its way. Chicken — at Dr. Werlin’s reunion. Beef stew — made in the crockpot. Pineapple (at Disneyland). Lemon (at Red Robin), you ate it with no unusual faces, which kind of bummed me out.
Regular staples in your diet: Bananas; Plums; Apples; Banana oatmeal raisin bars; Avocado; Broccoli; Onion; and other samples of food from whatever we’re eating.
I continue to be impressed with just how much you enjoy food. If I didn’t think you were so cute, I’d be embarrassed at how loudly you vocalize about how good you find food. The better you think the food, the louder you moan and groan while eating it. Some foods, like bananas, even rate an enthusiastic squeal and smile when you see it coming at you!

Naps: 1 nap a day starting around noon, we let you sleep as long as you want with a hard stop at 3pm. You are averaging about 1.5 hours for those naps, and every now and again you throw a 2.5 hour nap in the mix. Bedtime is at 7pm, wakeup for the day is 6:30am.

Things I want to remember about this week: How funny you are when you go crawling along while pushing a toy, or a bowl, or a book. Instead of holding (whatever you’re taking with you), you push it along with one of your hands on the floor. That you figured out how a your little bathtub toy bucket fit inside another bucket this week. The way you grabbed one of my breastpads and were SO EXCITED about it because it’s round. It was even funny to me when you bit it. The way you love your little book nook in your room and it’s a great place for me to set you when I’m cleaning up your diaper or prepping your jammies for bed, because I know you’ll be interested in it for longer than a minute. The way you snuggle your head against me when I wear you in the Lillebaby carrier. How if I lay down on the floor near you, you come crawling at me with your mouth in a wide open smile and crawl up on me and lay your nose against mine, giggling the whole way — we jokingly call game we play infant CPR, because that’s what it looks like — you are saving my life!

I walked through the house this morning, it was dark and quiet, illuminated only by the kitchen light. Your ball was up against the kitchen table leg, your little racecar was upside down under the table so you could play with its wheels, an empty pretzel container was in the middle of the floor (you beat it like it’s a drum), your egg shaker lay next to it, your activity table was pushed up against your feeding chair and I resisted the urge to straighten these things to their proper positions. Instead, I stood there and imagined you playing with them, the way your eyes light up and you greet them every morning as if you’ve never seen them before in your life. I took a moment and basked in the knowledge that you are our baby… and that is so cool.

Love, Momma

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Filed under Best Husband, Letter to William, Our Kid is Cute

October 25, 2012 · 1:00 pm

Letter to our 10.5 month old

Dear William,

This week on 10/25/2012, you turned 46 weeks or 10.5 months old.

The big thing this week for you has been your nap schedule. I know, I know. Again with the sleep obsession. The thing is, and a lot of people don’t realize it, but sleep is just as important as nourishment. I wouldn’t fail to offer you your milk or food, so why should I fail to offer you your sleep? On Sunday I decided to try and flip flop your nap schedule. So, instead of limiting your morning nap to 40 minutes, I decided to limit it to 1.5 hours and then offer a snooze in the afternoon. Except what happened was, you pushed your wake time to 10:30am and slept for 1.5 hours and woke up naturally and then refused your afternoon snooze completely. As a result, since you’d already done a single nap day, I decided to push you to one nap a day for 4-5 days just to see how it goes. I decided to start your first nap closer to 11:30am, which pushes your awake time by one hour from when you had pushed it the day prior, so your nap would hopefully stretch further into the afternoon. Monday it worked great, you slept for 2.5 solid hours. Tuesday the gardeners outside your window and your butt pooping woke you after 40 minutes and despite best efforts you refused a second nap, but were pleasant and laughing until your bedtime. On Wednesday, you slept 1.5 hours. The thing is, I doubt myself every step of the way, thinking that maybe we’re pushing you to this too soon, you are so young! But you seem to be tolerating the longer wake times well and so far it’s not impacting your night sleep, and we seem to have eliminated those early wake times. Of course, just when we get this all worked out, we have the challenge of upcoming time change, as well as travel to a different time zone to contend with.

Since we’re changing your nap time, we also have had to change your bottle feeding strategy. You have a milk/sleep association (as well as a Froggy/sleep association) and, as a result, since we don’t want you to fall asleep on your first bottle, your grandma is feeding it to you downstairs. Which means you’re more interested in activities than finishing that bottle. So what you don’t drink then is being added to your lunch/nap bottle.

Last Friday your grandma D. took you to the grocery store. You love to look at the balloons there, so it’s always a treat for you to go “grocery” shopping. She sent me a text message later and asked if you normally make smacking noises while going through the produce section. She then told me that you definitely recognize the fruit and vegetables as food. The next day, we went to Walmart to buy you some bananas. I was carrying you on my arm and holding the bunch of bananas in the same hand. I felt you leaning over, and saw that you were touching one of the bananas but didn’t think much of it. As we neared the check-out, I noticed you were becoming more and more interested in the bananas I was holding and then you leaned over and started licking one of them. By the time we were checking out, you had managed to bust through the banana peel and were happily eating your banana. I offered the gooey mess to the cashier to ring up so I could pay for it. Surprisingly, she declined. She might have been laughing too hard. I was halfway between amused and mortified. I didn’t think you’d be able to get through the peel or should I say WANT to get through the peel — yuck! As your father unnecessarily pointed out, though, and I quote, “He has teeth.” Here is your first (and hopefully only) mug shot.

This past Saturday was full of fun activities. Starting the day off right with a swim (for me) and a nap (for you). We had brunch with your godmother. The restaurant where we met is off of a very busy street, so we sat on a bench near the street and watched the cars go by. The bench was the perfect height for you to stand on the seat part and hold to the top of the back and look over. You were so happy!

Afterward, we went to the local children’s resale shop and, there, hanging on the pegboard was a Froggy Lovey, identical to the one you love so much! We now have a spare for $1.99. Yesssss!! You grinned at it when you saw it, then proceeded to grab it out of my hand, jam it in your mouth and when the clerk tried to take it from you, you YELLED at him. AHHHHH!!!

A final highlight of our Saturday together was to attend the Autumn festival at our local park. With Halloween decorations, costumed characters, trick-or-treat stations and craft stations throughout, it was a fun little activity for us to do together. Your grandma D. joined us on our outing, and it was a nice way to welcome the holiday season ahead.

Development: You weigh 27 pounds 5.5 ounces and are currently fitting into 18 month size clothing, and some 24 month sizes. You still have an incredibly long torso and short legs… meaning shorts hit you about mid-calf and pants, if they fit you around your waist, are about 5 inches too long. I bought some Babies R Us brand sleepers in 18 month size last year, but I think they’re intended more for walkers than crawlers, because you HATE them… they don’t stretch enough for you to crawl in, but would probably be fine if you were walking. Diaper inserts? Since we’ve gone to one nap, a longer nap, we now need to double stuff the diaper you wear during your nap… one day we didn’t and you wet through it. No walking as of yet, still crawling like an Olympic champion and standing for longer and longer periods of time. You’ve started doing a weird crawl, where you are crawling on your feet instead of your knees sometimes.

Things I want to remember about you this week: The way you find things to entertain yourself, for example, you started crawling and pushing your toy cars. You have several and there’s one that’s just not user friendly for that, but you persisted getting more and more frustrated about why it kept flipping over when the other one you have doesn’t. You will also grab hold of the base of my office chair and push it around and around in a circle. While I’m not thrilled with it, you also love to flush the toilet. If I wanted the feeling of an auto-flush toilet at home, I would just let you in the bathroom with me. The way you love to leave under your own power from your Music Together class on Mondays and crawl all the way down the long, long hallway. The way your face lights up and you start to laugh when you see me when I get home from work. How you unlatch if you drop Froggy while nursing to search for him and say, “uh uh uh uh uh, Uh oh!” How you love having your daddy home these days because he’s got a new part-time, work-from-home job. Along those lines, the way you search for your father when I’m nursing you and smile at him while you nurse. Every morning after I leave for work, your father takes you out in the stroller to “check out your hood”. He always sends me a text message with a picture of the two of you and I desperately look forward to those pictures. Your father also looks through my Facebook posts and blog posts for pictures that I post of you so he can “steal” them.

I found some birthday invitations online with wheels on them. They seemed perfect for you as we’ve decided to do your first birthday party themed around wheels — you love wheels! I mailed them out this past week. I know it seems early to do so, but since your birthday falls in December, it’s a pretty busy month for social obligations. The thing is, I wasn’t even going to do a first birthday party for you at all, as I’m pretty anti-social. However, it seems wrong not to celebrate the milestone of the first year of your life having been lived, and that’s really what birthday parties are about to me, not receiving gifts, for you have everything that you need. But rather that your life is a gift to us.

On Tuesday morning you woke and cried out at 2am. This is not a big deal to me, as our routine is that you get one middle of the night nursing, if you don’t cry out for it then I will go to you no later than 4 am. So when you cried, I got up and went to the restroom and then checked the video monitor because you had gotten quiet. It was quite possibly one of the saddest things I’d ever seen. You had sat yourself in the corner of your crib with your back against the rail. You had shoved Froggy in your mouth and were sitting there, quietly sobbing into him. My eyes get teary just remembering. I went in and pulled you out of your bed and held you close for a minute, feeling your little body against mine as you sniffled… perhaps it was a bad dream, I don’t know, but you needed me. You were hungry and felt a little chilled, both were solved by the act of nursing. When you finished eating and unlatched, you laid there quietly on my lap. I could see in the dim light that your eyes were open, but it seemed that you just wanted to be held. I understand, we all need to be held sometimes, I think. So, for those few quiet minutes in the middle of the night, I simply held my baby boy. My baby who is growing into a little boy all too fast.

Love, Momma

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Filed under Best Husband, Letter to William, Our Kid is Cute

October 19, 2012 · 11:05 am

Letter to our 10.3 month old

Dear William,

This week on 10/18/2012, you turn 45 weeks or 10.3 months old.

You currently weigh 27 pounds 6.5 ounces-ish. I say “ish” because you kept putting your foot on the ground when I weighed you this morning, and then would lift it up and grin at me. Smartypants! You have quite the sense of humor these days. You are primarily in 18 month sized clothing, and we are starting to size you up to 24 months in some things, too. Diaper stuffing strategy remains the same, although if you get more than one middle of the night nursing, you soak and leak out of your overnight diaper.

This past weekend I was struggling with a clogged duct and I was so grateful that lately you’ve been wanting to snuggle and linger while nursing. I started taking lecithin (an herb) awhile back and haven’t had a clogged duct stick around for long since then, so this one being so stubborn was quite a surprise to me. In fact, for the first time in a good long while, I let you take a couple of naps on me in the hopes that letting you pacify nurse would help clear it up. It finally, gradually broke free on Sunday.

I took you back to the pumpkin patch on Saturday afternoon. We had previously gone the first weekend it opened and felt rather conspicuous that we were just taking pictures and not making any purchases. This weekend, I had hoped to meet up with our mom group, but since you opted for a nap (as usual) during the meeting time, I decided to just go anyway even though I knew it was likely we would miss them. You loved looking around at all the people (so many people!!) and rather than attempt a militant photo session, I just let you look around and acclimate yourself to your surroundings. I’m a huge fan of natural, candid pictures (rather than posed) and I got some great ones by just letting you be yourself! I had brought along your pumpkin outfit, that I bought just for this, and put you in it and then set you next to a bunch of pumpkins for the pictures. One lady came around the corner with her two kids and was so focused on getting them posed that she totally missed that you were standing there and very nearly tripped over you! It was hilarious!

Who knew a tractor going by could glean such a myriad of expressions!

This week you have added pointing to your repertoire of skills. You’re not really pointing at things you want (yet), so much as you’re just kind of pointing where you’re looking. Your love for bananas is becoming more and more of a demand than it is a request, you know where they are kept and will reach for them and SQUEAL when we hand you one.

You have added the words “This?” and “That?” to your vocabulary, along with the hilarious sound effect of hissing whenever you see a cat, or a picture of a cat (we can thank Snug for that).

Hissing:

We purchased you some rubber bibs this past week and they have a collection area in the bottom. It took you two seconds to figure out that’s where all the good stuff ends up. So now you spend a good portion of your meal time fishing stuff out from your bib and re-eating it.

Crawling continues to be your main mode of transportation these days. We attended your Music Together class on Monday and afterward you kept trying to go out the door with all the grown ups. We were finally ready to go and we let you go with us under your own power. So there you went, crawling down the hall, and people were laughing as they passed you. Yet you were pleased as could be because you were “walking” along with us. Clearly, strollers are for babies!

Olympic crawler:

Things I’m not thrilled about this week? Another middle of the nighter last Thursday night and nap avoidance two days last week, perhaps related to the flu shot? Things seem to have settled down for you over the weekend. Also, when you get bored you like to distract yourself with a motorboat sound or by grinding your teeth.

Things I want to remember about you this week: The way you pull Froggy over your eyes when nursing and I feel you smiling… so I say, “Where’s William? Where IS William?” And you pull Froggy off, still smiling, still nursing and bust a gut laughing when I exclaim “THERE YOU ARE!!” You are so clever and are apparently truly talented to be able to do that and not bite. I say that because I shared with our neighbor lady how much I love this game and she said she can’t do that with her son because he bites. Yikes! You also moan and groan and growl when you’re going for another letdown, which isn’t very relaxing for me, so I started mimicking you… and that, of course, makes you laugh. I love the way you hold tight to your crib rail and jump up and down in the morning, smiling hugely, to greet me. The way you’ve started to push your little silver car around, all while it says “Honk Honk, pump it up, pump the jam, pump it up!” How you’ve really embraced the Book Nook in your room, and will pull books off the shelves and look through them as if you’re really reading. You love the interactive books and, in particular, the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse book with the light switch that turns off and on. How you will shut your bedroom door and, although you’re not tall enough yet, you will then reach up for the handle to open it again. How going into the house from the garage has become a crazy dance because of your extended arm demonstrating your single minded focus on PUSHING THAT GARAGE DOOR BUTTON.

In the mornings on weekends, I take you for a stroller ride around our neighborhood. You enjoy going out of the neighborhood to the main street because you really love watching the wheels go round on the cars going by and get really upset if we turn around before then. So sometimes when we go out there, I turn your stroller sideways on the sidewalk and I sit down next to you and we just sit there, together, watching cars go by.

You grin at me, as you turn your head back and forth to watch the cars go this way and that way, the entire time. Moments like these, the simple ones, are the ones I’m forever trying to capture with my heart camera.

Love, Momma

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Filed under Letter to William, Our Kid is Cute

October 12, 2012 · 12:37 pm

Letter to our 44 week old

This week, on 10/11/2012, you turned 44 weeks old. On the 8th, you turned 10 months old.

To celebrate your 10 month birthday, you had a middle of the night party in your crib. I heard a noise at 1:35 AM on the monitor and just assumed you were turning over in your sleep. You regularly laugh or mutter to yourself while you sleep, so it’s not an uncommon thing to hear noises from you. Just in case, though, I got up, used the restroom, and waited for you to cry for me. I heard another noise at 1:55 AM and decided to check the video monitor. You were awake and playing with your Einstein music soother. So I went in to nurse you and you greeted me with a big ass grin as if to say, “Hey, welcome to my party! You brought the drinks!” You nursed for 45 minutes, unusual, as you’re usually a “take care of business get me back to bed” guy in the middle of the night… and then you pushed off, but wanted to go back to playing. So I flipped the thing over the top of your crib so you couldn’t turn it on (little buttnugget that you are, you have figured out how to turn the master switch to the “on” position) and informed you that it was time for sleep and left the room. You protested for 4 minutes and then passed out. Lessons Learned: Remove the musical soother from the crib. If baby makes a noise, always check on the video monitor, never assume. All in all, I lost 1.5 hours of sleep that I badly needed because of your party.

You’ve been settling in and lingering while nursing this past week, especially in the mornings. I don’t know if it’s a growth spurt or just that the temperature is cooler, or just a desire on your part to be snuggled. Whatever the reason for it, I am savoring these extra long nursing sessions. Practicality would suggest cutting them short, because I really shouldn’t be late to work. But then, I realize that my job is just that… a job. If I’m 15 minutes late because you needed me? Well, then I will make it up by taking a shorter lunch break.

With the cooler weather, we’ve been putting you in footed sleepers at nighttime. It’s so weird to see them on the hanger in your closet and think to myself, “Those are way too big for my baby, those things look like something a 2 year old would wear.” Then I put them on you, and they fit perfectly. Sizing, you are weighing in at 26 pounds 12 ounces, still wearing 18 month size items, some 24 months. Diapers, Bum Genius, double stuffing morning diapers.

You continue to work diligently on your leg strength. You now prefer to stand wherever you may be, only crawling if you feel the need to go somewhere. You continue to stand by yourself (no holding on) for longer periods of time. You “cruise” regularly around the living room. You are also working on your vocabulary. You say, “Uh oh,” “Mama,” “Pop,” “Dada,” and a new addition this week, while petting one of the kitties you will say, “Kit cat.” Your Grandma D. got you on the toilet for a poop the afternoon of the 10th. Oh, I love elimination communication when it works. Better yet, this week you’ve discovered how to flush the toilet — so, after you pooped in the toilet, your Grandma let you flush it as if it were a reward. haha

We took you to the doctor’s office to get the second half of your flu shot… the first thing the nurse says when we got you on the table was, “He’s so strong!” I’m supposing that will be something you hear for the rest of your life because it’s certainly been something we’ve heard for the first 10 months of it. I met you and your father at the doctor’s office and we nursed afterward to make it all better and it was the highlight of my day!

Another highlight for that day is that I finished the registration process to become a human milk donor. To do that, I had to have my blood drawn and so I walked into the milk bank and there was Becky, our birth doula! We were both SO EXCITED to see each other that we had tears in our eyes and talked a million miles an hour to each other to try and catch up. It turns out that the midwifery where she now works and the milk bank share office space and I had no idea!

Things I want to remember about you this week: How you farted at the doctor’s office this week but waited until later to poop a 2nd time for the day for your grandma. How we have yelling contests in the parking lot, and on Tuesday in the Costco parking lot, all three of us (your father, me and you) yelled together. I wondered briefly what the people around us thought, but then realized I didn’t really care. The yelling together thing is a tradition that your father and I do on Fridays to “yell out” the stress of the week. I love the way you cross your ankles on the arm of the chair while you’re nursing. I love the way you smile and even laugh if something strikes you as funny while nursing. How you experienced the first rain (and thunder) of the season (that you remember) and you squealed in delight. The way you squeal and laugh when I get home from work and you see me. The way you look at me when I come late to your music class, I intentionally try to blend in with everyone else and you look at me, once, twice, three times, trying to figure out why I’m way across the room if I am who you think I am.

As the seasons change and we move further on the calendar into Autumn, the mornings have been darker longer. So, when I enter your room in the morning, I open the shades, turn the little lamp by your bed on and on the clock by your bed, I switch from the white noise feature to listen to the radio. As you nurse, we watch the sky brighten through your window, and the dramatic shadows and clouds over the mountains that your room views, while we listen to the songs on the radio. Sometimes I sing along, and sometimes the beat inspires you to kick your feet rhythmically while you smile and even laugh over your cleverness. This morning, the song “A Thousand Years” (lyrics) came on the radio and I found myself singing it to you…

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What’s standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

Seasons and calendar dates are like a beautiful weaving dance of memories and meanings. For it was two years ago, October 5, 2010, that would have been your older sibling’s due date, except I miscarried that baby earlier that year on April 1st at 7 AM. Precisely one year later, on April 1st, 2011, at 7 AM, I had my blood drawn to find out if I was pregnant with you, or not. I left my doctor’s office in tears, convinced that because of the enormous amount of bleeding I was having that I was not pregnant. I couldn’t possibly be. I even accused my doctor of pulling an April Fool’s joke when he called me with the the news later that day that I was, indeed, pregnant. And here you are, 10 months old. Every single day, you are a living, breathing testament of God’s grace to us. I now believe in miracles. You are our healing.

Love, Momma

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Filed under I have Family, Letter to William, Our Kid is Cute

October 5, 2012 · 11:19 am

Letter to our 9.8 month old…

Dear William,

This week on 10/04/12, you turned 43 weeks or 9.8 months old.

Yet another date has been filled in your baby book… your first cold. Last Thursday night/Friday morning, you were running a fever of 100.7 and had a snotty nose and I felt like such a mom wiping your boogers away and comforting you when you couldn’t breathe out of your cute little nose. As germaphobic as I am, and I tell everyone not to HAAAA on me when they’re sick, I was surprised to find myself laughing at you when you popped up right in front of my face, opened your mouth and HAAAAAed, right in my nose… oh, how being a mom changes someone. Since it was Thursday night when you came down with it, and facing a weekend ahead, for peace of mind we took you to the doctor on Friday, just to make sure your ears, throat and lungs were OK. They were, and it was a fast moving thing, because by Saturday you were acting like the whole thing was gone. Oh, and to stick with tradition, you pooped for the doctor. You ALWAYS poop for the doctor. I blame your father.

Another development: You’ve been standing independently more and more. On Monday night you were banging on the closed toilet seat as if it were a drum and when you stopped, you just stood there with your hands in the air… for about three seconds, then you plopped down on your butt. Your Grandma D. claims you took your first step this week. She brought over an activity table that she’s had at her condo for when you visit her. The first day she brought that over, you started pushing it (looking as if you’re about to fall on your face the whole time) and using it as a makeshift walker. You pushed it over to the couch and saw something on the coffee table you wanted, she said, so you let go of it, took one step over to the coffee table. I haven’t seen it yet, so I’m waiting to document it…

Just when we had a routine worked out for your naps and night time, you’ve started screwing with things again. STOP SCREWING WITH THINGS! Refusing to take one of your naps, which all things considered, if you’re going to refuse a nap, I would rather it be your morning nap. What I think is going on, even though all the experts say it’s too soon, is that you’re trying to go to just one nap a day. So now we’re reworking your schedule to try and make things work again. The thing is, your afternoon nap is way too important to miss. So we moved your bedtime up to 7pm to compensate for the sleep you’re losing during the day. Just as it’s important to look at the amount of milk I pump on a big picture basis (i.e., am I freezing some at the end of the week?), I’ve learned it’s also important to look at the amount of sleep you’re getting in a 24 hour period — I like to make sure you’re getting a minimum of 13 hours in a 24 hour period, I don’t really care how you dice it, with the exception of I prefer you to sleep until at least 6:30 AM in the morning.

Food you’re enjoying this week:
Plums, banana, steamed broccoli, steamed onion, banana/oatmeal bars, carnitas (pork).

Development at a glance:
Diapers — double stuffing inserts for first 3 morning diapers.
Clothing — size 18 month, some 24 month.
Speed crawling is your main mode of transportation
Standing for long periods of time holding on to things and standing seconds at a time without holding on to anything at all.
Using your activity table as a makeshift walker, and pushing it around the room.
Mimic sounds — if we drop something, we say “Uh ohhh!” You now say it, too, but the first time you said it was on 10/02, “uhhh uh uh uh… Uh Oh!”

Things I want to remember about you this week: When you poke your hand between my breasts when nursing, your little elbow sticks up and I tell you “I’m gonna get that little chicken wing!” and then you laugh and laugh, all while nursing. It is the best thing when we reconnect at the end of the day. The way you sneezed while nursing yesterday, and then kept nursing as if nothing had happened. The heat of your body, the heat of this summer, the overwhelming heat of those two things together (I will be grateful for cooler weather). If you are upset, the way you instantly calm when I start singing You are my sunshine. The way you roll over when I put you in your crib at night and stick your butt in the air and babble “Mamamama.” The way you twist your hips when you crawl, and your little butt bobbles along. The way you belly laugh when I try to clean under your chin. How quick you are to go up the single stair out of the living room. How pleased you were with yourself when I let you climb the stairs all the way to the first landing (with me right behind you). That you have figured out how to slide off of the la-z-boy in your room, belly first, and take off crawling when your feet hit the floor. How your face lights up when we go for a morning walk and round the corner and you spot the little community playground. How you laugh and squeal when you see the pool. How ridiculous it is when we change your diaper after swimming and you cry your head off. How you know when we pull your feeding chair out that means FOOD and you come crawling across the floor as fast as you can. How cute you were when I let you try plums for the first time and you LOVED them.

P1420860 from Jammie J. on Vimeo.

Cleaning under his chin

When your Godmother’s daughter was small, she put her tiny little hand on a window above their dining room table, and for the longest time her mom left that handprint there, unapologetic to any who might see, glaringly visible in the evening lamplight. It might still be there, for all I know. I remember that because she commented on it to me that she liked it there. Motherhood has brought out uncharacteristic nostalgia and a desire to hold onto the younger version of my baby in me, and I assume that was what she was doing. In my own way, I try to do the same, I suppose, by drawing your hand print every month, writing these letters to you, taking weekly pictures to document your growth… all of these tangibles. But the intangibles, the things I can’t see with my eyes — the feelings you evoke in me when you do these things that make me smile or laugh days or weeks after you’ve done them, or when my heart is just full to overflowing and I find myself crying when I hold you in those early morning hours because I love you so much, those are the things that I desperately try to capture and hold near to my heart. Your father and I joke that our home is now called “William’s house” and if every joke contains a bit of truth, then there’s more truth in that than humor. Because really, it’s not just our home that you’ve captured and now own, it’s our hearts, too.

Love, Momma

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September 28, 2012 · 4:17 pm

Letter to our 9.6 month old

Dear William,

This week on 09/27/2012, you turned 42 weeks or 9.6 months old.

I would like to share with you how much you love music. Any music at all makes you SO happy, and you “sing” along in a monotone voice with lots of passion behind it. I’m not sure at what age children start to sing in tune, but you definitely have the emotion of music down pat! Your second Music Together class was this past Monday, and your teacher was impressed that you were holding the tune… and you did SO good following along and participating in the class. Sometimes I feel silly spending money on something you won’t remember, but … you really seem to enjoy participating, interacting with other kids, and crawling around, and while you may not remember the class itself, maybe you will remember the emotions of it.

We took you to mass this past Sunday for the first time in a while. We haven’t been taking you because the 9:00am mass jacks with your nap schedule, but we made it to the 730 AM mass this past Sunday. Anyway, my point in mentioning that was because you were participating in the service by “singing” along to the worship music.

On Sunday afternoon, I took you to watch your father’s basketball game. In a word, love. You LOVED being there and watching everyone run back and forth, the drumming noise of the basketball to you was like a favorite TV show would be to someone else, you couldn’t take your eyes off the game. You lost the ball you were playing with and chased after it in a turbo crawl, babbling in concern the whole way.

You love anything with bananas in it, so I foresee that going forward, much of my cooking will have banana as an ingredient. It’s a good thing it’s such a healthy, versatile fruit and can be substituted for a lot of unhealthier items in recipes! I had made some blueberry banana yogurt popsicles last year while pregnant with you, and I pulled one out to let you try it. Once you got over how freezing cold it was, you went to town with it! You love that popsicle, and the next time I got it out of the freezer, you knew what it was and were ready for it! Oh, and you get mad when I take it away.

This past weekend, your father hung a red swing in our backyard that our former neighbors (who moved to Texas) gave you. Oh my goodness, you love that thing. The giggles, grins and laughter you render upon being placed in it is all the reward and thank you that your father needs for the time and work it took to hang that thing up!

I discovered this week that the hissing sound makes you laugh… which would explain why you would smile after you bit while nursing. All this time, I thought you thought that biting was funny, but then I realized that I was hissing in pain when you bite. You think that sound is funny, so you thought I was playing with you and then didn’t understand why I was disciplining you. Now that we’re in sync, things seem to be going much better in that arena. Lately, you’ve had a latch like a clamp that if we were back in your newborn days, would make me cry… and I shake my head in awe when I realize just how far we’ve come. Speaking of your teeth, apparently they’ve grown enough that you can now not only click them together, but also grind them. It’s very strange to be carrying you and hear clicking noises coming from your head.

Foods you’ve been enjoying this week: Banana, steamed broccoli, blueberries, steamed onions, plain Greek yogurt. A popsicle made from blueberries, banana and plain Greek yogurt. Granola bars made from banana and oatmeal.
Foods you’ve been unimpressed with this week: Potatoes, carrots.

Crawling is still your main mode of mobility, although you’re working on your confidence to stand by yourself. You stand (holding onto things) for long periods of time and will “walk” while holding on to things, especially if you spot your Froggy hanging on your crib.

You are weighing in at 26 pounds 12 ounces. Clothing sizing is the same as last week (18 month). For diapers, we’ve taken to double stuffing your covers for your morning diapers.

Things I want to remember about you this week: The way you love to “talk” or “sing” to me when we’re driving around, sometimes even yelling at each other and then we laugh and laugh about our silliness… I love this pre-talking phase. How you’ve started to associate sounds to things, like if a loud motorcycle goes by, you look around searching for the source of the noise. The way you crawl SO FAST up and down the hallway before bath time, when released from the restrictions your clothes and diaper, your mouth in a wide open grin. How you search for your ladybug bath toy to play with while I dry you off and put lotion on you after your bath. The way your hair has this cowlick at the top, and it just kind of curls its way upward on the top of your head. The way you close your eyes when I stroke your hair while you’re nursing. How you love balls to distraction, even more than books, and will chase them across the floor.

Sometimes when I hold you, you will lean your head against my shoulder for a few seconds. For those few seconds, in my mind’s eye I remember seeing other babies do that to their moms, and now I’m on the other side of the mind picture. I sometimes wonder if I’m too serious, too regimented, too… whatever, self doubts that I suppose every mom has, but then am reminded in those quiet moments when you lean on me that I am your mom, the only mom you’ll ever have. You trust me completely to meet all of your needs, to be an example of how a mom should be, a role model of how a wife should act as you watch me with your father, how a woman should act, and I realize that imperfect though am, in your eyes, I am perfection. It won’t always be so, this I know, age has a way of gaining knowledge and changing perceptions. But I hope that you’ll always know that guidance and discipline are the tools and love is the motivation I use as a foundation to help you gain your “perfection” for your future spouse and children.

Love,
Momma

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September 21, 2012 · 2:05 pm

Letter to our 9.3 month old

Dear William,

This week, on 09/20/2012, you turn 41 weeks or 9.3 months old.

The highlight of this week for you was attending your first music class. Let’s just rewind a bit, did you see that? You attended your first class! Your father was able to take you, which made it all the more special, and you did great, he said. You roamed a bit at first, but the teacher was understanding, you are the youngest in the class after all. You loved the music and were so interested to watch all the other children. You are also a bit of a teacher’s pet, because you crawled right up to her, put your hand on her knee and watched her intently. She smiled at you and reached over, waved the handkerchief over your head and then gently touched you under your chin. It was so sweet.

If there were any doubt in my mind as to whether you recognized me as your mom, it would have been alleviated that day. I walked in the room 15 minutes late, after leaving work early and hustling through rush hour traffic. You spotted me the second I came in the room and lost interest in everything but me. I attempted to refocus you on the class, but it didn’t work all that well… in the future, I’ll try to slip in a little more discreetly so that doesn’t happen again!

Also this week was the first time you drank from a straw. It was so hot and we were out and about, and for months now you’ve been fascinated with water bottles and watching us drink from them. So I put a straw in it and held it up for you. Your eyes met mine, you closed your little lips around it and, voila, you drank water from a straw. It was so anti-climatic, and now I’m wondering if we have managed to bypass the sippy cup phase altogether.

This was his second time drinking from the straw…

You are such a little scientist and are so curious about how everything works. Nothing escapes your notice. We have a rug in front of the back sliding door and every time you go to stand up, the rug slides under your feet and you’re desperately hanging on to the glass door while your feet are going faster and faster and then the rug has moved to the middle of the room thanks to you. So I bought an anti-slip mat and put it under the rug. You weren’t watching me when I did it, but the next time you went over there and the rug stayed where it was, you decided to sit down and investigate why … so there you sat, lifting the rug to see what was under there. I’m not much on secrets but, in this instance, darling, some things need to STAY under the rug.

You are weighing in at 26 pounds 5.5 ounces. We’re still in that same weird zone of eighteen month size onesies becoming too small on you, I’m thinking we’ll be going to 24 month sizes here pretty soon. Of course I keep saying that and then keep cramming your clothes on you. Probably not the best of strategies because then when you do finally move up a size, you’re not in the new size for very long before I have to start stretching them again. I think your torso is much longer than your legs are, because when I put 24 month size shorts around you, they fit you around the waist but the length of them are nearly to your ankles. This is kind of surprising, because both your father and I have legs that are seemingly 5 feet long!

We went to Costco last night, one of your favorite stores for people watching. They had a ride-on Lightning McQueen toy and I thought, “How cute! I wonder what William will think of this?” So, I shrugged and put you on it. You were entranced. You didn’t even look up the entire time you were on it. After 5 minutes or so, I finally decided it was time to move on and I asked you if you wanted up… no response, you just kept playing with it. I reached under your arms and lifted you and you started crying and reaching for it. You cried all the way down the aisle. I was so shocked — I let you “test drive” toys ALL THE TIME at Children’s Orchard and you never respond that way when it’s time to go. I walked back by the ride-on toy on our way out and you remembered it, started making noise and reaching for it. Since you liked it so much AND remembered it on the second pass by, I decided to buy it for you… and give it to you, maybe for your birthday? Or Christmas? It’s rated for children 12-36 months old, so you’ll probably enjoy it even more by then.

Your nap schedule is going so much better. It’s wonderful to have a plan in place and, I admit, it is weird to go from having a baby led sleep schedule to a parental controlled sleep schedule, and yet it’s working, when we’re consistent about it. It’s remarkable that your awake times are so predictable to the point that we can lay you down at the right time and you will go to sleep once you talk it over with yourself and get comfortable. If you refuse your nap (40 minute nap window), then we keep you up until the next nap window and then you’re out like a light. It’s also amazing how the length of the nap affects the next nap or even your night sleep… we let you lengthen your morning nap to see what would happen, won’t be doing that again because you then awoke at 4:30 AM the next day.

Things I want to remember about you this week: When I’m holding you and you hear music, you kick your legs in time to the rhythm — it’s very funny when we’re walking through the grocery store. The way you turn with a half smile on your face and look at me sometimes, as if you’re waiting for a joke. The way your eyes meet mine when we’re standing in front of a mirror and you grin at me. The way you reach for me in the morning when I go to get you out of your crib. Your sweet sleepy weight as I put you in your crib after you’ve nursed yourself to sleep. The way you reach for and grab Froggy if you spot him. How if you accidentally drop Froggy when you’re nursing, you cry out and are very upset about it. The way you shove your hands into the armholes of your shirt and help with getting dressed. How when you eat a food you like you make this “Hmmmm” sound, as if you’re really pondering the taste of this new delicacy that you’re eating. When I wash your face in the bathtub, how you open your mouth really wide to try and catch the washcloth so you can suck and bite on it. How you SPLASH the bath water or the pool water as hard as you can with your mouth wide open and stick your tongue out to try and catch drops of water — you even did that when we stopped at a statue fountain! How sometimes when you sit on the floor, you will cross your feet and sit Indian style.

When we started this journey of your life together, I wasn’t sure of anything except that you were finally here. Now I’m looking down the road and your birthday is in the cross hairs and I’m in the idea stage of planning for that. Also, even though we’re doing baby led weaning (BLW), I’m planning ahead for the eventual weaning process and how I will wean from the pump during day time hours. I’m also in the process of registering to be a milk donor, as I would really like to provide human milk for premature babies whose moms cannot. So I need to figure out which pumping session(s) I want to keep in my schedule for that and because milk banks won’t take milk from moms who are supplementing their diets with Fenugreek and Flaxseed, I will also need to wean myself from them.

A friend of ours had a baby this week and I find myself looking at her baby’s newborn pictures and then I look at pictures of you today and … well, everyone said that children grow so quickly, but I had no idea when they told me that, they meant in 9 months you would already look like a toddler! Or that already, today, I see in your sweet face the shape of the man-face you will eventually have. As your teeth grow like a self-erected white picket fence on unmarked territory, so do we tick off the markers of your growth and development and pages of your baby book seem to complete themselves of their own volition.

Love, Momma