Today I am grateful because…
Category Archives: I feel Glad
William’s music teacher claims that children as young as 6 months, maybe younger, have what is called “audio replay.” The premise being, if you’ve heard a song before, and you sing a different part of the song out loud, or continue to do the actions for the song with no words, that you still hear the song in your head. It makes sense, because I know for a fact that adults get songs stuck in their head ALL THE TIME. Why wouldn’t it be so for children as well?
The first part of the video demonstrates this. The lyrics that we were not singing are, “Smells so green and skies so blue, spring has sprung and now, me too! Boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing! Take off your mittens and put away those coats. It’s time for gardens and sailing in boats. Smells so green and skies so blue, Spring has sprung now how ‘ bout you! Boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing!” — K. Guilmartin
William is gettin’ down to the “boing” part of the song. Also, the bottom boogy that he’s doing is alllll him. No one in the class except him was or has ever danced like that. The last part of the video, well… you’ll see.
Video Link (in the event the playback box doesn’t work)
These moments are why I continue to enroll him in these classes. Last week we were dancing with the teacher, round and round we went. William laughed and laughed… and after every song was done, he signed “more.” And desperately signed “more” when the class ended.
Honestly? I wanted more, too.
Last year on this day I intentionally spent the day alone, avoiding people, because I was two months pregnant and afraid that I wouldn’t make it to the end of the pregnancy with a living baby. I didn’t want to be wished a happy mother’s day, because I didn’t feel like a mother. I felt like a fraud.
It’s a weird place to be, when you’ve had a miscarriage and have struggled with infertility, it steals the joy that hope offers for a miracle. You learn not to expect anything, that way if it doesn’t become a reality, you’re not overly disappointed. Or at least that’s what I told myself.
This year I am sensitive to the fact that there may be women out there who in their heart are already a mother but they may not have the baby that their heart dreams of holding. I wish I could make every mother’s dream come true. I wish every mother could be as happy as I am.
Even on my worst day when I’m at my wits end, which honestly doesn’t happen that often, it’s the best day of my life because this world is where William lives. I hear his laugh, his squeals, even his screams of joy. I see his smiles, I feel his super soft, chubby skin, I stroke his hair, I feel him nursing… and even with all that, I can still hardly believe that I get to actually hold every day and night in my arms the tangible result of the dreams of my heart.
Happy Mother’s Day.
I find myself in an odd place this Thanksgiving. I had to take a couple days off from work to have a minor surgery, and my doctor has ordered me out of commission for the next few days to recover… which means I’m unable to attend dinner with the family tomorrow. I’ve given my
slave husband orders to bring me home some turkey and stuffing. Really, out of all the bounty prepared, those are my favorite things of it all — turkey and stuffing. Not even the desserts compare. I know, you’re gasping in shock right now!
The meds they have me on make me quite sleepy, so my wish for naps and resting has been granted in a very big way. Which is why I’m writing now, because I may very well be sleeping tomorrow away. Huzzah!
How much of my yesterday was spent, note Tug’s possessive paw on my chin?
Since it’s Thanksgiving, instead of writing loves and loathes, I’ll just share some of the things that I’m thankful for this year.
* I’m incredibly thankful for having a wonderful husband in my life. He is sensitive, thoughtful, intuitive, responsive, responsible, loving and attentive. He makes me feel cared about, loved and safe, He is also prone to fits of goofyness, and his lack of self-consciousness is not only an inspiration to me, it’s also something that garners spontaneous laughter that just bubbles right out of my soul. I love this man that I’m married to so very much.
* My close friends. I’ve said it before, but it’s so very true: Having a support system in place is critical to get through the highs and lows of life. Isolating myself, even though that’s usually my natural instinct, is the exact wrong thing to do. For those of you who have offered words of wisdom, or support, or “just the right thing at the right time” — you are more appreciated by me than I could ever express.
* Having a job. Every day I wonder why I am where I am. I wonder why they seem to like me so much. I never, ever take for granted that I have somewhere to go every day and that I get a pay check. I do like my pay check. I always try to start the day like it’s a new job, that there will be new things to learn and expect the unexpected. When I have that attitude, I find it’s much easier to take the changes that seem to come at such a rapid fire pace.
* The basics of life. Having a home to live in with appliances that work, in a safe neighborhood, with (for the most part) great neighbors. Pets that are healthy and some that are working their way back to health. A car that is fun to drive and reliable. Beautiful plants in my back yard that I nurture and they, in return, give me so much joy.
* My health. This is something that I’ve not always had and I’m so pleased that, for the most part, I’m healthier than I’ve ever been in my life. I attribute it to two things — first, I found an exercise that I love to do. When I take my weekly day off from swimming, I miss it sooooo badly and can’t wait to get back in the pool the next day. Second, raw milk. Seriously. Unpasteurized milk has so many health benefits. (Link to read if interested.)
* Doctors that I respect and trust almost implicitly. I will never, ever stop asking questions, not after all I’ve been through with incompetent doctors, but the doctors I have now are either one step ahead of me and answer my questions before I ask them, or patiently answer my questions, and sometimes have changed the course of treatment to meet my requests… which means the respect is mutual. To finally have excellent doctors is a huge blessing.
* Fun socks. I know, this is so silly after all the Big, Serious, Deep things I’ve listed. But wearing fun or crazy socks under a conservative business suit is a fun little spot of happy in my day. Today? Cornucopias. Tomorrow? Turkeys.
With that, I wish each of you a very Happy Thanksgiving, filled with all the people and food that you love. If you’re in a part of the world where Thanksgiving isn’t celebrated tomorrow, I still wish you lots of food and time with loved ones.
Lots of love,