Imagine Happiness.

I had arrived to the restaurant early. The wait staff was completing the setup for my girlfriend’s bridal shower brunch. We were all waiting in the foyer to be called to the party area, chatting softly amongst ourselves or just people watching.

A couple in their mid-thirties entered, spoke to the hostess and put their name on the list for a table. When they completed the task, the man reached out and gently stroked his wife’s hair away from her face, briefly massaged her neck, then caressed her back and his arm came to rest around her waist. She leaned into him and turned to smile at him. He was nondescript, average height, brownish hair, soft around the middle… just average. Nothing really stood out to me about him except the obvious love and tenderness he held for the woman who stood beside him.

She was not attractive. She was overweight, and her clothing was not intended to conceal or compliment her figure… a tight-fitting tank top, stretch jeans and flip-flops were her attire. Her hair was colored a harsh, unnatural black. Her arms were heavily tattooed and as she reached for his hand, I noticed that the soft inner skin of her arms, from her wrists all the way to her armpits, were covered with long-healed “cutting” scars.

In that moment, I wondered what her story was. She displayed those scars, and everything else I noticed about her, without any apparent self-consciousness. I admired her for her confidence to simply be herself in a world that judges appearances harshly. But I wondered what it had taken for her to get to that point.

Our group was called to be seated shortly after that, and throughout the breakfast brunch buffet and, later, the walk on the pier, I never saw that couple again.

That was 2 1/2 years ago, and I’m not even sure why, but that moment impacted me deeply… I was thinking about them again tonight. Pulling it out of my memory and examining it.

I like to imagine that she loved herself enough to allow his love help conquer whatever fears, anxieties and hurts caused her to cut herself. I like to think that he fell in love with her because she had a depth of personality that they could stay awake all night talking and never run out of things to say. I like to imagine that despite her visible imperfections, she was a perfect match to his heart and that they’re still together, happy and they go out to brunch every Saturday morning.

Imagine happiness. Imagine that.



Filed under Sometimes Thinking Exhausts Me, We're all searching for something

12 responses to “Imagine Happiness.

  1. Cat

    I don’t have to imagine. I know. And you’ve got it almost spot on.

    • Nothing easy to say here… except, I will say that I’m glad you know happiness. I know your road has not been easy. I wonder, now, if her road was similar to yours.

  2. It always warms my heart to hear stories of people who struggle and find happines in another. I just goes to show that there is someone out there for everyone if you keep looking. And that you really can find happiness outside of yourself.

    • That is what I remember about those two. If I had seen them separately, or known one of them through work or something, I would have never guessed they’d be together. Yet they had the magnet syndrome which I see in truly happy couples. They were so in tune to each other. It was palpable.

  3. A wonderful story, my dear Jammie….And I, like you, would like to believe all of that, too. One does wonder what her back-story is—and how she survived it and came through with such confidence. I can certainly understand why you never forgot this, my dear!

    • She fascinated me, and especially the seeming visual disharmony they presented, but you could see the waves of love coming off of him when he looked at her, and she in return toward him.
      I guess I also thought about the fact that I was there for a bridal shower, and that I truly hoped that same happiness for my friend in her marriage. Oddly, I’m not really in touch with that particular friend anymore, but I think she’s happy. So maybe she did truly find it. 🙂

  4. This is offf topic, my dear: “127 Hours”—I actually did not cover my eyes, but I did talk to the TV…lol! It is worth seeing if just for James Franco’s tour-de-force performance…But there are other films that I found more personally meaningful, like, “THE KING’S SPEECH”….Now that was Inspiring….And Colin Firth—-SUPERB!
    I also happen to LOVE his looks!!! (lol)

  5. py

    Dear Jammie, thank you for this touching story. Imagine happinese, yes, it is a meaningful one. Maybe remembering it calls us to be grateful for what we already have? You and Tony have your story of happiness and love to share.

    • Yes, I think it’s important to be grateful for what one has. Also, though, to not judge others too harshly. We don’t know what their story is, or what it’s taken them to get where they are.

  6. grrrace