Things That Make You Go “Hmmm.”

Seen in the shower room at my gym last week. I guess instead of singing in the shower, people were cussing? Oddly, the sign disappeared after a couple days. So apparently people’s language got cleaned up along with their bodies.

The stopper in my bathroom sink was crooked last night, so I moved it gently to straighten it, but it popped out in my hand… along with a huge wad of stuff. I’m thinking that might be the reason my sink hasn’t ever drained properly since the day I moved into this joint? May also be why Drano never worked?

I have three reusable bags that I take to the grocery store or Walmart or wherever I shop. (They’re called “green bags”, but only one of my bags is actually green in color, the other two are black.) Sometimes, though, I forget to bring them in and am always shocked at just how thin the plastic bags the stores provide are these days. i remember when Walmart’s bags used to be that aqua blue color. Do you remember those? It really wasn’t that long ago. Those bags were nearly indestructible compared to today’s bags.

Yesteryear’s bags…

Dear Husband, please don’t ever let me buy a zipper bra…

…or do this to remove a stain from any of our remaining carpet… Love, Wife

And this last one may be a little mean-spirited of me, although I really don’t intend to be. It’s just that… well, when I was a teenager, I really, really wanted to be a model. I went to modeling school and everything, but I never really thought I was pretty enough and then… life just kind of happened, you know? So last month I got my Metrostyle catalog and I glanced through it, as I’m wont to do. It is a catalog, after all. There was a pretty enough blonde girl on the cover and as I flipped through the pages, I noted that they used her quite a bit, even more than the other models. In several of the shots, she had her mouth open. Why modeling clothes requires opening of the mouth is beyond me, but it was just one of those moments for me that I wondered why I ever doubted myself. My teeth aren’t perfectly straight by any stretch of the imagination, and I’ll be the first to say that sometimes a gap in the front two teeth can be a little sexy in an imperfect way, you know? But, just, wow, if she can make it, surely I could’ve made it.
See? Pretty girl, huh?

But why, oh why, must models and actresses open their mouths?

It’s truly a bit more shocking when seeing the larger pictures rather than these little thumbnails…

And that’s it for this edition of Things That Make You Go “Hmmmm.”



Filed under Hmmm...

8 responses to “Things That Make You Go “Hmmm.”

  1. A very interesting group of “Hmmmmmms”….That last one makes me scratch my head. Is this the “new” look that Photographers and Clients want? Gaps In The Teeth? Lauren Hutton would not have ever needed that teeth piece she used to use….! LOL!

    Jammie J. replies:
    I don’t know how a gap in her teeth sells clothes. It’s so weird. Plus, you figure she’s gotta have a bit of money, at least enough to fix it, right? So strange and startlingly scary on this girl.

  2. OK, never too late for you to do it now.

    Jammie J. replies:
    True, true. But I’m not so brave anymore and I have wrinkles. The dewy look of youth has departed from my face.

  3. Do you brush your hair over that sink?

    The open mouth model thing is like the “Hollywood Smile.” I think they think having your mouth open makes your face look longer and thinner.

    As for the cussing in the bathroom, maybe it was as dirty as the pool used to be?

    Jammie J. replies:
    Sometimes I do brush my hair over that sink, but I’m very diligent (read: OCD) about not letting any of it get down the drain because I know what yard length hair can do to drains. But after you asked your question I went and inspected the dried up clog thing I pulled out of there. The reddish parts of the clog were rust from whatever was holding in the plug thing. The rest of it was grayish blonde in color and the previous owner had grayish blonde hair, so maybe she brushed her hair over that sink? Would explain why the six bottles of drano I’ve put down that drain didn’t work, and why it’s never drained right since I moved in, I’m thinking.

    I don’t think I like the Hollywood smile. It’s scary and vampiristic. *shudder*

    You may have a point about the showers being dirty like the pool. If the picture I sent tonight to the club manager of a clogged up shower drain there is any indication.

  4. boo

    I just cleaned out the drain in my tub yesterday and it was the same exact thing. Kinda gross but since it was mine I didn’t mind so ,uch.

    That chick is no where near as beautiful as you. The gap is just as bit too much for my liking.

    Jammie J. replies:
    You know, I think I remember something about pulling clogged up hair out of my previous condo’s drain… it seems I’m always pulling someone else’s clogs out of things. And not the shoe kind of clogs. Ick. See, I put hair strainers in my shower drain now (after I pulled the previous owner’s clogs out). Maybe my sink drain will be good now. I’m hoping.

    That tooth gap is just odd to me.

  5. Um…what’s wrong with the zipper bra? I thought every guy would prefer them over those hooks. Although it’s not very pretty isn’t it?

    Yeah, the gap is not at all attractive in this case. Some people can pull it off, but not this chick.

    Jammie J. replies:
    So what you’re saying is that nothing says romance like a discreet “zzzzzzzip” in the dark? hehehe If it’s dark, I guess no one’s looking at the “pretty” part of it and, well, it does kind of have a nice sleek look to it. Very ergonomical looking.

    The gap is weird. It’s so… unexpected. I mean, her face is so sweet looking (at least I think so) and then that gap just startles a person.

  6. grrrace

    omg. that’s a big ass gap!

    that foul language sign is indeed puzzling.

    i think i need to check my sinks now. yikes!

    Jammie J. replies:
    Oh good, so the gap shock isn’t just me then…

    Here’s something funny about that sign. I didn’t take that picture. I talked a girl in the locker room into taking it and emailing it to me from her cell phone because we both thought it was so puzzling. hehe

    Do your sinks slow drain?

  7. grrrace

    on occasion they do. they’ve been working great for a while now, though. i did use drano on them a few months back… the next time they’re all slow, i’m checking. eep.

  8. You are WAY prettier than she is.

    Jammie J. replies:
    … but she has the cool tooth gap thing!