Poke the Balloon.

I’ve been toying with the idea of this for a few months now. I even told my mom about it and she went and tried it before me.

First of all, let me just say, I don’t do well with needles (shots, blood tests, allergy tests, etc.) I have kind of a weird post-traumatic thing with them, which is to say that I think I’m fine while the needles are being done, but later when I get home, I feel violated and just want to cry. Back in 2004 I was doing a series of allergy tests and I had to stop because I just found the whole thing to be too exhausting and traumatic. I know, weird.

So you know I’m desperate when I tell you that I scheduled an acupuncture appointment. I called this morning to schedule it and the doctor fit me in tonight. I was a bit taken aback by that, you know how I like my pre-worry time.

Despite all the swimming and exercise that I do, I’ve bloated back up to the point that my clothes don’t fit. I’ve read all about water retention being caused by the heat, and we all know that it’s been hot here, but that doesn’t make my pants fit any better. I guess you could call it Seasonal Bloat Disorder, but I don’t like the acronym for that, so we’ll just carry on. I have bloating, plus, factor in my back acne problem that’s not being helped by the prescription gel. Then there’s a myriad of other complaints that lead me to believe that my hormones (oh delightful friends) are the culprit.

So, after work tonight, I spent 20 minutes on the table with 18 needles (I counted them) poked in various parts of my body. She then put “ear seeds” on pressure points in my ears and gave me a 7 day kit for “Cleansing and Detoxifying” my system. Hopefully it doesn’t give me speedy poop, because I hate that kind of crap. I really kind of hoped that she’d poke me and like a balloon, all the bloat would just squeal out of me. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen.

I wasn’t sure what to expect, I’ve never had acupuncture done to me before. A couple of the needle insertions hurt a bit more than others, particularly in the stomach area. Interestingly, though, the pressure she exerted on the ear seeds hurt more than the insertion of the needles. Her dialog throughout the process centered on “balancing the body” and my “Qi” needs to be balanced. Although she kind of annoyed me by pointing at the colorless moles on my face and saying they were acne. *grunt*

I cried a bit when I got home (my needle PTSD) and then took a warm bath. I have another appointment Monday night.

My ear seeds…


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0 responses to “Poke the Balloon.

  1. Did you try any natural diuretics like:
    Celery seed (and plant)
    Juniper berries
    I looked up Vaccaria and it didn’t seem to have any diuretic properties.

    I hope you get some relief from whatever it is. It sucks to not feel good.

    Jeanette replies:
    I eat celery, asparagus, artichokes, watermelon (other melons, too) and take a buttload of calcium on a regular basis. I was on a prescription diuretic for awhile, but it did nothing for me either. My GYN has no idea what the problem is, so I’m turning to alternative methods. When she put the ear seeds in, she said they were on pressure points for the endocrine system. It’s just really uncomfortable to carry water weight around all the time. (sigh)

  2. Caryl

    So you got the courage to try it!
    I never look at the needles.

    Did she say it was okay to take a bath right after the needles? Never heard of the ear seeds. I’m suppose to be taking a bunch of herbs in conjunction with the acupuncture, but haven’t. They’re expensive.
    Love you,

    Jeanette replies:
    I asked her how many needles there were, she said they usually don’t focus on the number of needles, but rather on the points they’re stimulating. Pfft. I wanted to know the number so I’d know how many more pokes I’d have to tolerate.
    I don’t know why it wouldn’t be okay to take a bath, the damn spots are no bigger than a mosquito bite. Yes, the cleansing kit is loaded with herbs and there are other herbs that I will start after I finish the kit. And the herbs aren’t THAT expensive compared to what I’ve paid in the past for stuff.

  3. Tony

    It’s ok sweetie I love you XXOXOXOXOXXOXOXO

    Jeanette replies:
    I love you, too, babe.

  4. Could never. ever. ever. do it! Then again I stress/freak out BEFORE the needle. Then you know, whine about the pain for the next 5 days.

    Jeanette replies:
    I know how you feel, our freak outs are just reversed, that’s all. It never fails that when I get bloodwork done that the nurse can’t find the vein so I end up with a 12 inch bruise on my arm. *grumble*

  5. ear seeds? wth? they look really weird!!!

    i hope that this works out for you… needles can be scary. but at least your first one’s over with! 🙂

    do you know if she’s going to give you any herbal medicine? my mom was saying that with endo, if there’s been surgery, herbal medicine (it’s nasty. looks like dirt water and smells worse) is really effective. (btw, my mom trained to be an oriental medical dr. that’s why she knows all this stuff and knows all those people. hehe.)

    Jeanette replies:
    I know, she said the ear seeds stimulate the endocrine system to help with weight loss. I’m supposed to press them 1/2 hour before meals. But I’m thinking I’ll press them a 1/2 hour before the times I really want to snack (like 3 PM and 9 PM).
    I’m glad the first one’s over with. She said some stuff that bugged me, like she was insistent that I was constipated and I’m like, I suffer from a lot of things but constipation is not one of them. More like the other side of the spectrum, she wouldn’t believe me. WTH?
    The cleansing kit is herbal, and then when I’m done with that she’ll recommend other herbs, too. We’ll see what she comes up with, I guess.

  6. I’m not really into holistic medicine and stuff. And I too have a thing with needles. I’ll put up with it for medical reasons but I’d never volunteer to have someone poke me with a needle.

    Jeanette replies:
    I’ve gone the route of traditional medicine and the doctors have no clue. They want to prescribe one medication and then another one to combat the side effects of the first one and on and on it goes. Pretty soon, there’s a war of side effects and no one remembers what the original problem was to begin with because, at that point, it’s irrelevant. Acupuncture and holistic medicines bring to the table “whole body treatment” which really does make sense, because everything is connected. We truly are miraculous creatures. I’m not crazy about needles, but I have to do something.

  7. that’s weird that she would insist on things when you said they weren’t true. my experience was different, but who knows. i also think you’ve got a lot more going on in there than i do, probably… hehe…

    Jeanette replies:
    I talked to one of the ladies at work who’ve been going and she thinks there’s some language barrier, in that when she said “constipated” she meant even though I may think I’m not, there may be things in there that just aren’t being processed correctly. Which does kind of make sense. I mean, she inspected my tongue and touched some points on my ears and from that deduced (as you said in your e-mail) my body’s story. *shrug* Maybe I just need to be more open minded.

  8. oh, maybe. is she not completely fluent in english? that could be the case, then.

    yeah… it’s hard to keep open minded about stuff when you don’t really know exactly what they’re doing. hehe…

    even though i didn’t really have much faith in all that stuff, i went anyway. i guess it was because i was totally desperate. but he really helped me get my mobility back. remember when my back and neck were all jacked up? the chiropractor could only fix so much. so yeah. i was totally desperate when i went. and he fixed me. anyway, i hope she does the same for you. 🙂

    Jeanette replies:
    No, she was not completely fluent. I mean, fluent enough to sort of understand, but I had to pay attention.
    Huh, I didn’t know that’s what you had done for your back and neck. Interesting. 🙂

  9. I see your post needle trauma and raise you pure office hysterics WHILE the needles are being put in. I freak and to the point of having to constantly change physicians because of the embarrassment. Seriously. Girl, you are brave to go the acupuncture route- let me know if it works. It sounds to me though, like what you really need is a trip to Houston. Oh yeah, nevermind- it may be hot where you are, but it’s Satan’s crotch hot here.

    Jeanette replies:
    HA! I have my reaction later and then the doctor wonders why I give them the hairy eyeball at the next appointment. 😛
    A trip to Houston, sure, when it’s cooled off some… like November or something! 🙂

  10. leo had accupuncture on his back … it didn’t help him any, but sometimes it is still worth a try!!! hope it works for you – i do know some folks swear by it!

    and i hope it cools down there! it is a lovely 55F here at the moment … you can tell me your temps in jan-mar when we are huddled inside!

    Jeanette replies:
    Ahhh, sorry to hear the acupuncture didn’t work. At least he tried it, though.
    The weather has been quite lovely and moderate here. Very, very enjoyable. I think the high was all of 80F, not bad at all.

  11. yup. the chiropractor prolly fixed me about… 15-30% and the acupuncturist fixed me about 90%. every once in a while something bothers me. but it’s pretty good.

    it was weird because i couldn’t sleep with the neck pain. i was getting very little sleep every night. but on the table with all of those needles in me? i was OUT for those 10 minutes. it was amazing. hehe.

    Jeanette replies:
    I couldn’t relax at all with those needles in me. I think because it was such an odd thing for me, being the first time and all. Plus, just as she left the room after inserting the needles, my phone started buzzing from an incoming call. I couldn’t get it as it was across the room, the person left a message, so I got to hear it buzz for the entire 20 minutes.

  12. angi

    I’ve read this like 3 times, all 3 times thinking I’ve already commented… my brain is sooo on the fritz.

    You are so brave for doing acupuncture, there is no way I could do it. No way whatsoever. Ear seeds, they would have been off me before I got my seat belt on in the car. Don’t mess with my ears.

    Jeanette replies:
    The whole time I was getting acupuncture, I kept hearing your voice in my head saying, “There’s no way I could do acupuncture.” Somehow, I knew that would be your response. 🙂
    The ear seeds were just plain weird.

  13. you know, the oriental med dr’s are all different and sometimes you need a second or third opinion to get the help you need… much like regular docs, i guess. 🙂

    Jeanette replies:
    I know… it makes sense. 🙂