My cell phone buzzed this morning unexpectedly. I reached to answer it and was greeted with, “Hi, my name is Kim with Mercury Insurance. I’m calling this morning to verify your homeowner insurance application… do you have a minute right now?”

I applied blusher to my cheek, “Uhhh, sure.”

She informed me that the call might be monitored for quality assurance. Good times, I’m used to that from my previous jobs.

Fun questions like, do I have family members or boarders living with me (long term, I assume)? How about whether or not I have living space in my garage. Is my house bolted to the foundation? What is my job title and how long have I been doing that kind of work? Or whether I have a housekeeper or gardener. All the fun questions were wrapped up with, “Do you have any pets?”

“Yes.” I replied, as I moved my mascara wand away from Tug’s helping paw.

“What kind are they?”

“I have cats and fish.”

“Okay… how many cats?”

“Five.” There was a pause.

“How many fish, do you know?”

Thank goodness I’ve taken a break from my fish breeding, it might be a bit awkward to say, “Oh, around 200 or so…” Instead, I replied, “Oh, 12 or 13, I guess … why, do you think they’re gonna run off with the house?”

She laughed and said, “No, I don’t know, they just have me ask that.”

“It’s okay,” I said, “Those fish, they’re troublemakers, every one of them. They just might, you know.”

We laughed and finished the call. What she didn’t know is, I was totally telling her the truth!



Filed under I own a Home, Kid Substitutes

6 responses to “Verification.

  1. So, what? Your fish all wear leather jackets and ride with Hell’s Angel Fish? Do they gang up on the cats and kick thier asses when no one’s looking?

    They sound like some pretty tough fish.

    Jammie replies:
    *raises eyebrows* Oh, no, they don’t do the asskicking on the sly, they’re pretty open about it. Really. When they were just babies, like 1/4″ long, I watched one of them kill another one and I couldn’t get in there fast enough to save it. They’re wicked, wicked fish.

  2. redfred

    Vince they are pretty mean fish…. you better watch your back if you’re gonna start bad mouthing them!!!

    JJ What time did they call? I would have not even answered, or if I did the answers would have been “terse”

    Jammie replies:
    Quite right about the meanness of them. But then you knew that. I had to laugh when I picked up a pamphlet about them at PetSmart and it said something about them being “aggressive” and only for “advanced” fish owners. Hehe. I knew nothing about them, not even what kind they were, until you told me.

    Mercury called at around 7:45 AM — I’m usually not even out of bed at that time. 😯

  3. They want to know how many fish so they can estimate the size of your tank(s), so they can estimate how much water is in them, therefore how much damage can be done when all of the water pours out of said tanks when a baseball hits it accidentally.

    Insurance people have everything covered.

    Jammie replies:
    Aha — that’s what they were up to. I wondered! Why didn’t they just ask what size the tanks are then? Because I could have told them, I have 78 gallons of water just waiting to flood the hardwood floors of my home!

  4. Now you know why fish scare me…:lol:

    Jammie replies:
    Awww, they only eat each other, not my hand. 🙂 Well, except when they were babies and they ate their food off my finger. Now THAT was sweet.

  5. grrrace

    gosh, i’m glad steve takes care of all that stuff. heh.

    Jammie replies:
    I have to admit, I was kind of stumped on the “is your house bolted to the foundation” question.

  6. I suppose you said, “Yes, I have a housekeeper and a gardener. Their names are me and my husband.”

    Jammie replies:
    HA! We’re not housekeepers, we’re house-messer-uppers! 😆